I hear Paul Krugman is a good economist, but I think he’d make an even better muppet.
I don’t think I’ve ever been as excited for Election Day as I am this year. Because I’ll have a baby daughter then.
The election results should be interesting too, but meh.
Breitbart’s Plan:
Phase 1: Embarrass White House and NAACP
Phase 2: ???
Phase 3: Slavery
Democrats are mad at Breitbart for wanting to bring back slavery because that was their original universal employment plan.
It should be noted, though, that only one of the two major political parties has always been against slavery.
I think it’s fair to say the members of the Journolist don’t understand all the ways it makes them look like moron, partisan hacks.
I am getting sick and tired of telling Lenny about the rabbits.
PROBLEM: Too few jobs.
FACT: Rich people create most jobs.
SOLUTION: Tax rich people!
There’s a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. At the end of a double rainbow are the millions of jobs saved or created by Obama.
PROBLEM: Too many people already.
FACT: Illegal aliens breed like rats.
SOLUTION: Open borders.
PROBLEM: The Federal Government is corrupt.
FACT: Washington, D.C. is run by lobbyists.
SOLUTION: Elect more Democrats funded by lobbyists.
PROBLEM: People are too critical of politicians.
FACT: The 1st Amendment guarantees your right of free speech.
SOLUTION: Internet censorship.
PROBLEM: I put money in my bank.
FACT: I expect privacy with my finances.
SOLUTION: Obamacare – where all my banking info goes to the government.
Slavery is so cool and underrated. If you get to be the guy with the big house and the whip, that is the awesomest!!
I love this shirt:
Slavery Gets Sh!t Done
But, I am against Breitbart returning the country to slavery, however…
Tell him about taxpayers instead. They’re not as furry and cuddly, but he’ll clue into the part about squeezing all the life out of them.
By the bye, all I know about Lenny I learned from Bugs Bunny:
Bugs Meets the Abominable Snowman
PROBLEM: I have a headache!
FACT: Headaches hurt!
SOLUTION: Fine everyone who doesn’t have a headache like me!
PROBLEM: Some football coaches are cheaters.
FACT: Many Southerners like football.
SOLUTION: Tax everyone!
PROBLEM: Nuclear waste.
FACT: We can bury it somewhere.
SOLUTION: Do nothing!
PROBLEM: Afghanistan.
FACT: “Graveyard of Empires.”
SOLUTION: Get those scary military men to take care of the problem. If they don’t do the job, we’ll blame Bush!
PROBLEM: Obama.
FACT: Obama is an incompetent and disgraceful beta boob acting as alpha boob surrounded by beta boobs who think they are alpha boobs.
SOLUTIONS: #1 Seven Days in May. #2. Brainwash Holdren. He will poison the water supply against Obama. #3 Convince everyone that Texas should be allowed to vote for us all.
I am not an economist. What I do know is that I don’t give a crap about any “good” economist’s opinion if he thinks the United States government should force citizens to do this or that to “improve” the economy and has the inherent right to do so. It doesn’t help matters that he’s a true partisan hack.
PROBLEM: Napoleon has escaped from Elba!
FACT: Napoleon is a troublemaker.
SOLUTION: “Eeee, scary French guy with a big hat! Run away!”
PROBLEM: Slavery.
FACT: The people with the slaves have guns, funny, exaggerated accents, and names like “Scahhhhlett O’Haruhh”.
SOLUTION: “Look on the bright side: The slaves are unable to vote for Republicans.”
PROBLEM: Soylent Green is people!
FACT: The oceans are dying! Plankton….dying!
SOLUTION: “It tastes pretty good!”
If Breitbart likes slavery so much, why is he one of the few journalists who has left Obama’s plantation?
PROBLEM: Zod.
FACT: Zod was imprisoned on Krypton!
SOLUTION: Kneel.
PROBLEM: The deficit.
FACT: Our children and our children’s children will be pulled down by this immense financial ball and chain.
SOLUTION: Spend more money!
PROBLEM: Military procurement is often fraught with waste.
FACT: Such waste inevitably hurts our military and the taxpayer.
SOLUTION: “Did you mention taxpayer? Let’s screw him over.”
PROBLEM: Many Americans are filled with despair.
FACT: Many Americans are not filled with despair.
SOLUTION: Burn down churches!
PROBLEM: The coal industry and much of the oil industry hates Obama’s cap and trade plan.
FACT: There are many coal miners and oil workers in America.
SOLUTION: Ban country music!
PROBLEM: Ethanol is a gigantic boondoggle.
FACT: Ethanol production is more wasteful worse for the environment when compared gasoline production.
SOLUTION: “Hey, buddy, I need votes out in Iowa.”
Gen. James Mattoon Scott: And if you want to talk about your oath of office, I’m here to tell you face to face, President Lyman, that you violated that oath when you stripped this country of its muscles – when you deliberately played upon the fear and fatigue of the people and told them they could remove that fear by the stroke of a pen. And then when this nation rejected you, lost faith in you, and began militantly to oppose you, you violated that oath by not resigning from office and turning the country over to someone who could represent the people of the United States.
–Seven Days in May
Burma, I still cannot believe Burt was supposed to be the bad guy in that film. Hollywood is a laugh riot.
Babies love watching election returns.
It’s not like you’ll be sleeping.
PROBLEM: Hippies
FACT: Hippies smell really, really bad
SOLUTION: Dip hippies in flea bath, bleach and Lysol solution, then punch in face. Repeat as needed.
PROBLEM: Independents
FACT: Independents think they are cleverer than us because they are Independents.
SOLUTION: Point out that Independents are the reason Obama got elected thus are dumber than a bag of hammers. Also point out that I, a registered Republican, can vote for anyone I want in the general election just like them, plus I get to vote in the Republican primary, which they can’t. You ain’t all that clever, Mr. Smarty Pants Independent.
“There’s a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. At the end of a double rainbow are the millions of jobs saved or created by Obama.”
In fairness, the unicorns and fairies do most of the work for the Obama administration, he just takes all the credit. Who knew that unicorns and fairies hated the US so much? I sure didn’t. It makes you wonder what he told them about us.
John Wayne did a movie called The Sootist. I think Danika Patrick should do one called The Raceist! Naturally she will request me and my handsome “package” as her love interest bad boy kick ass dude. I’m up for it!
Tony Randall was funnier than Paul Krugman.
And less gay.
“There’s a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. At the end of a double rainbow are the millions of jobs saved or created by Obama.”
President Obama, video taping double rainbow: “What does it mean?! What does it mean?!”
“There’s a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. At the end of a double rainbow are the millions of jobs saved or created by Obama.”
No, silly, there’s a gay hippie on LSD holding a video camera at the end of a double rainbow!
I’m cynical enough to believe that there are a few criminals in every profession. There are probably Criminal Doctors and more than a few Criminal Accountants and so on, but these people all keep pretty quiet about it. Why is it that when you look in the Yellow Pages, you find Criminal Lawyers proudly advertising?
PROBLEM: Massive oil spill in gulf.
FACT: Oil is polluting the beaches of states that did not vote for Obama, killing sea life.
SOLUTION: Since neither the states or sea life voted for Obama, screw ’em.
Krugman is a frequant guest on Olberman, and won a Nobel peace prize. Is that worthless enough for you?
This election should be very telling. I want enough of a conservative sweep to watch the leftie reporters cry, like when Reagan won.
Since neither slavery or socialism is voluntary exactly what is the difference?
He was supposed to be the bad guy? I thought he was the tragic figure. If they made the movie today, Barney Frank would be the goofy senator sent off to the desert to unlock the secrets of ECOMCOM. It wouldn’t end well.
FACT: Slavery takes care of everyone’s basic needs: housing, food, health care, and job security.
PROBLEM: People don’t like being slaves.
SOLUTION: Call it Socialism instead.
I don’t like that there’s a thing called the Organization of American States. Nebraska is an American State. Venezuela isn’t.
@#12 Proud Infidel says:
July 27th, 2010 at 11:17 am
PROBLEM: Hippies
FACT: Hippies smell really, really bad
SOLUTION: Send all hippies to live with MarkoMancuso
Fixed it for ya!
The difference between slavery and socialism?
Slaves didn’t vote for slavery.
“Krugman” would actually be a good superhero name.
Assuming, of course, that krugging were a super power.