Could “Tea Parties are racist!” be lie of the year? Then again, I don’t know how many people believed it, including those saying it.
If you’re going to be allowed to get health insurance when you have a pre-existing condition, could we stop calling it insurance?
I’m glad to know my taxes will stay low if I become rich next year.
It’s weird that Hollywood is the one place we both allow and expect racism in hiring.
Also with Hollywood: Child labor and lots of access to automatic weapons.
If you’re going to call something a “giant” panda, it should be at least 2 stories tall. Otherwise it just seems like a big panda.
So good day for gay soldiers unless you’re a gay, illegal immigrant soldier.
Played new Goldeneye with Buttercup strapped to me. Pretended I was Chow Yun Fat from Hardboiled.
I keep thinking the “urgent appeal from Jimmy Wales” is going to be for us to stop editing his entry to say he’s gay. No dice!
Christmas shopping. ME: “How many more stops?” HER: “Two.” ME: “Well, that’s not so bad.” HER: “Wait, three.” ME: “Gah!”
I hope when Buttercup becomes self-aware she doesn’t start a nuclear war like SkyNet.
I like big butts, but I CAN lie.
I’m glad that by the time Buttercup is a , the Jonas Brothers will be old, ugly, and forgotten.
“George Washington, who cut down this cherry tree?” “Father, I cannot tell a lie: I like big butts.”
ME: “Minecraft is going from alpha to beta tomorrow.” HER: “So it’s going to be less assertive?”
Barney Frank cut down the cherry tree and proudly announced to his father “I like big boy butts”!
Random thought: I declare December 20th to be Civilians Tell the Military How to Run Itself Day!
Random CTMHRIDay thought: As our intellectually brilliant friends at Newsweek stated, the military needs to be more like the society it swears to protect. Soldiers of our republic don’t need to be hard legionnaries for the modern war, they need to experience civilian society in the military as they do in the streets of our hometowns. Remember; we tried to make the Army more like civilian life after World War 2 and it worked smashingingly well in the hills of Korea! The soldiers even wrote a Hank Snow song about it.
Hear the patter of running feet
It’s the old First Cav in full retreat
They’re moving on; they’ll soon be gone
They’re haulin’ ass, not savin’ gas
They’ll soon be gone.
Sarah – “Frank, do these jeans make my butt look big?”
Frank – “You done had a baby Miss Scarlett. You ain’t never gonna be a size 17 no more.”
So, are you getting Buttercup a train set around the tree this year? Forget Science! It’s really all Physics! at this point. String-powered gyroscopes. GoYos. Erector sets. DNA helix models!
Okay I’m too future oriented. That box over there will entertain her for a while. Yes, the one you were playing with on your head for the past 15 minutes.
I for one, will sleep better knowing our newest members of the military will look fabulous in their new uniforms!
While I do not believe homosexuality to be a moral choice, neither is going to a strip club, binge drinking on the weekends, liking porn, having any sex outside of marriage, getting into fights, placing politics ahead of your soldiers safety (Fort Hood), or for that matter getting tattoos, or telling bull stories to your buddies. All of this is stuff that goes on regularly with our troops. Most of them struggle with these issues, but are still good troops. I would rather have our army defending us, then an Army of saints. While I would caution any openly gay soldier to try to keep it down, and only share that information with those closest to him, the whole issue of don’t ask don’t tell is a distraction. Let the troops in, whatever their faults, as long as they love our country, and are willing to follow orders, and want to grease the wills of democracy with the blood of our enemies.
Thanks for the Christmas shopping tips! Once the rain stops I’ll be headed to Hollywood to pick up a full-auto M4 to put under the tree for the missus. Thup thup thup thup thup! Take that, stupid noisy neighbors!
Fortunately, my wife knows better than to drag me along for some Christmas shopping. She’s good at it. She gave me a Ruger Mini-14 one year, trust me, a woman that buys you an assault rifle is a keeper. When I go shooting with my friends they still can’t believe my wife gave me such a cool weapon. All their wives or girlfirends give them something lame like some cologne or a gift certificate to some men’s clothing store, so their jealousy factor is high.
This year I’m getting a gift certificate to Gentlemen’s Warehouse. Sigh. Trust me, I won’t be telling my shooting buds that, I have a cool wife reputation to protect!
Infidel,
The women in my life always buy me gift certificates to a pizza joint – and a good one at that.
Better than nothing or Gentleman’s Warehouse, huh?
@Marko: I just had to go grepping about for that Newsweek Article. There is too much. Let me sum up:
1) Burt Lancaster was the villain in Seven Days in May
2) The most important thing about the DADT repeal is that it shows the military who’s the boss.
We could also show the military who’s the boss by mandating that all enlisted personnel regularly stage show tunes.
Did you do the part where Chow Yun Fat plays the saxophone? That would be cool.
Burmashave,
That’s an accurate summary. Thanks.
Also, Burma, have you ever considered how cruel it was for our submariners, real and fictional (Burt!), to show the Japanese not even a bit of the respect we show each other in civilian life here? We celebrated sinking millions of tons of “enemy” shipping after the war. We sank it without once warning the Japanese of our intentions. What would be so difficult in telling a captain to surface his sub, raise a white flag, and offer a simple message of parlay to the kind Japanese convoy commander and his several 120 mm 45 caliber naval guns?
Perhaps the war could have been avoided with less firepower and more common courtesy from the American people!
“I’m glad that by the time Buttercup is a , the Jonas Brothers will be old, ugly, and forgotten.”
Ahh, you will learn, my friend. The Jonas Brothers is a welcome relief from:
1) Dora The Illegal Immigrant.
2) Handy Manny (the illegal immigrant that fixes things Americans won’t).
3) Caillou The Pathetic Canadian Wimp That Spends His Time Pretending He Isn’t Useless Instead of Developing An Actual Talent.
4) Miley “I’m becoming a woman, and by ‘woman’ I mean ‘slut'” Cyrus.
5) The Wiggles (a child’s introduction to gay men).
6) The Teletubbies (a child’s introduction to gay dwarfs in felt costumes).
7) Yo Gabba Gabba (a child’s introduction to sex toys).
8) Sesame Street (which should be renamed, as it is nothing like the original, which was brilliant despite the flaming liberal agenda).
9) Barney & His Untalented Child Friends.
10) Veggie Tales (really, what’s more fun for kids than vegetables?).
No. 2 Marko… You got that right !!!
Can we allow drunks in the military “Don’t flask, don’t smell”? sorry
SarahK had a baby AND owns a firearm. Lie. Lie.
A 2 story panda is a Kaiju Panda. A 1 story panda is a Giant Panda.
not even close. “The recession is over”
precisely. Insurance is always a wager that something bad will happen, and you want to lose your bet. Knowing something bad will happen, the insurance company must charge you more than it will cost if you just pay for it yourself, since they are guaranteed to lose their wager.
I’ve always liked this analogy to the insurance issue:
would you buy insurance for your gas tank being low? This policy will put gas in your tank if it gets low. What do you suppose this policy will cost you in relation to the cost of filling your gas tank with your own money?
Marko, you got that right. A gift certificate to a good pizza joint is a lot better than a gift certificate for some clothing store. Even if I do need it. Get some extra pepperoni for me.
Chow Yun Fat is okay, but I must express my preference for Jet Li. I saw him beat the crap out of a guy while Li kept his HANDS in his POCKETS.
I don’t even know if Chuck Norris could take him.
“I’m glad that by the time Buttercup is a , the Jonas Brothers will be old, ugly, and forgotten.”
I’m opererating here on the assumption that whatever you meant to write there (Buttercup is a ?), it was suppoised to mean, essentially, “Old enough to care.”
Now, I remember when New Kids on the Block were (supposed to be) “cool.” This has devolved through time to Backstreet Boys and N’Sync, through whatever crap American Idol manufactured, straight to Justin Bieber and the Jonas Brothers. So, taken as an SAT question, the equation looks like this:
New Kids on the Block : Jonas Brothers :: Jonas Brothers : ??.
The possibilities are horrifying.
Thanks for telling me about the Minecraft thing. I snagged me a copy at Alpha-price a matter of hours before it went Beta.
I see that I am in the minority of thought here, but I am pleased by how respectful everyone was. If I put up something so controversial on a liberal leaning sight…
Frank, do you remember the fake trailers from “Tropic Thunder?” The one where Ben Stiller has the baby strapped to his chest, and has to fight through a volcanic waist land? Do I have to think of everything…
@Marko (#11): That was a spitter.
@KnitterChick: Li is a pretty boy, which is fine for the female viewing audience. Li versus Fat might be interesting, especially given that Fat is always armed to the teeth. In fact he sometimes sprinkles handguns about while on his merry way because they might come in handy while he’s shooting his way back out.
The enduring Li versus Fat thing is kind of moot. Hands in his pockets or not, Li would simply wet his pants if he had to face Aqua Buddha.
Minecraft = <3
That is all, ladies and gentlemen.
Have the people who’ve been yelling the loudest for the repeal of DADT Ever shown any interest in Improving the U.S. military?
Should we assume that they’ve had a change of heart now?
Mr. M,
How about Carlos from The Hangover? And I’d go so far as to include Kuato from Total Recall, but that’s just me.
“If you’re going to be allowed to get health insurance when you have a pre-existing condition, could we stop calling it insurance?”
If you’re going to get Unemployment for more than 6 months can we call it Welfare?
You’re expecting Buttercup to become a comma?