Straight Line of the Day: The Appropriate Way to Mark the Passing of Hugo Chavez…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

The appropriate way to mark the passing of Hugo Chavez…

[NOTE: CNN may have won the award for whitewashed headline on this: “Hugo Chavez, influential leader with mixed record, dies at 58“]

66 Comments

  1. …would be to pray for him if you are a Christian!

    and if you’re a Ayn Randian-ist Libertarian/Tea person the appropriate thing to do is to tie Chavez’s rise to power to George W. Bush the way that past Libertarians attributed Hitler’s success to Bush’s grandfather. That is what Libertarians do! Why change now?

  2. BREAKING NEWS–Barack Obama, after extending “personal and national condolences to the people of Valenzuela”, announced an Executive Action renaming Pennsylvania Avenue to Hugo Chavez Way and creating a non-stop Acela run from “Maracas, the capitol of Valenzuela” to Washington D.C.

  3. …As did: House Intelligence Committee Chairman Rep. Mike Mike Rogers, R-Mich., “Hugo Chavez was a destabilizing force in Latin America, and an obstacle to progress in the region. I hope his death provides an opportunity for a new chapter in U.S.-Venezuelan relations,”

  4. The Appropriate Way to Mark the Passing of Hugo Chavez…
    is by doing a global search and replace on your dead baby jokes web page…
    1.) What’s funnier than a dead Hugo? A dead Hugo in a clown costume.
    2.) How do you know when a Hugo is a dead Hugo? The dog plays with it more.
    3.) How do you make a dead Hugo float? Take your foot off its head.
    4.) What’s the difference between a dead Hugo and a trampoline? When you jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off.

  5. @Jack – How do you tell the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead Hugo in the road…. There’s skidmarks in front of the dead dog.

    How do you really make a dead Hugo float?….. A quart of root beer and two scoops of dead Hugo….

  6. @Jack – What’s the difference between a truckload of dead Hugo’s and a truckload of bowling balls? You can’t unload the bowling balls with a pitchfork.

    The Appropriate Way to Mark the Passing of Hugo Chavez…

    1. …draw a mustache on all his posters
    2. …is to have all MSM newscasts begin with “…this just in, Hugo Chavez is still dead.”
    3. …award the Medal of Freedom to his tumor.

  7. …is once again to marvel at his resemblance to puffy faced Ashley Judd and wonder if she is really as stupid as she seems and thus qualified to run a leftist dictatorship like Venezuela further into the ground.

    …is to say adios papel higienico and flush.

    …should have been an unmarked grave in Bolivia.

  8. How about dancing on his grave? Or pissing on it (after celebrating with lots of drinking)? That’s been the standard for centuries! Those who have done it describe it as quite satisfying and something they had looked forward to. I miss the old ways.

  9. I can’t seem to find humor here. I thought about marking his demise by growing another chin, but all I can do is hope his last weeks were painful and miserable. I can only hope that barry, the traitors penn, fonda, holder and napalitano also suffer this fate and soon.

    On the lighter side, he and teddy can drink together now and determine who has the biggest jowls!

  10. @65 – Humor is easy.

    How do you mark the passing of a great man? By doing something that draws attention to his noblest accomplishments.

    Hugo is the opposite of a great man, so do the opposite.

    Say, by nationalizing the funeral home where his wake is being held.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.