Straight Line of the Day: Newly-Elected NRA President James Porter’s First Act…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

Newly-elected NRA President James Porter’s first act…

43 Comments

  1. …will be to stand on the steps of the capital hold a rifle over his head and shout “from my cold dead hands!” a.k.a. Heston Style

    …will be to order lunch, cause those meetings take FOREVER

    …will be to tell the NRA membership “follow me if you want to live”

    …will be to find the one gun shop in the US where all the ammo from the last 6 months has been mistakenly shipped to

  2. … was to blame Bush for everything, appoint a whole bunch of czars to work around the NRA’s board, and head off for the first in a series of vacations and gold excursions. Apparently, he accidentally used Obama’s start-of-term checklist.

  3. … was to fire several rounds at a range target at the start of his first press conference. “I shoot first and answer questions later,” he told the media present.

  4. …demand that the media start using the term “undocumented self defense device” instead of the current hate speech term “illegal gun”

    …stated that the Obama administration causes more deaths annually than all the guns owned by Americans

    …went to Mexico and took back Obama’s apology

  5. Newly-elected NRA President James Porter’s first act…

    …was a cute trained dog with fluffy kittens.

    …was to be sure the safety was on.

    …was to demand that Obama meet him on the field of honor, his choice of weapons.

    …was to shoot the first filthy hippie he saw.

    …was to hand out free guns to everyone!

  6. Stand in the NRA HQ and shout “This is Porter’s House now, baby!”…

    Name all of Texas as his Sargent-at-arms…

    Appoint Ted Nugent to write the official NRA anthem…”Come and get ’em , liberal pussies!”

  7. …will be to organize a “get acquainted” snipe hunt for the President, V.P., Cabinet members and selected House and Senate representatives, to be held at an undisclosed desert location.

  8. …was to make the liberals pee their knickers when he changed the name to National Rifle and Handgun Association.

    …was to offer some guns ‘n’ ammo to our overseas consulate employees.

    …was to state that he does not cling to his guns and religion, because as an American those things cling to him if he chooses to have them.

  9. …….will be to go golfing with the president. obama will use golf clubs Mr. Porter will use an AR 15. He’ll also provide the Depends the president will need through out the round. I wonder how long it will take for obama to actually get a golf ball to land on the green. I’ll bet Mr. Porter’s a good shot, but the balls will need to be painted orange for easier sighting.

  10. Pingback: IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged!

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