Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
To address gun violence in Chicago, Mayor Rahm Emanuel……
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
To address gun violence in Chicago, Mayor Rahm Emanuel……
Hired Cleavon Little as sheriff.
…declared Chicago a gun free zone.
…placed YGDFTYLTATSOTE bumper stickers on all cars entering Chicago.
Bacon to Rodney Dill!
http://tinyurl.com/YGDFTYLTATSOTE
… limited magazine subscriptions to seven issues.
…threatened to stab anyone with a gun in Chicago.
…threatened to pirouette on the graves of anyone who joins the NRA.
…had gun owners send their guns to anger management therapy.
…promoted people getting loaded instead of their guns.
@rodney dill #9 – I’ll drink to that.
…asked residents to start scheduling their gun violence over in Detroit.
will only issue firearm licences after two weeks of zen meditation and chakra alignments.
…mailed dead fish to every gun owner in Illinois and Indiana.
…reinstate Dirty Harry
decreed that neither he nor any of his bodyguards will carry guns because people don’t need guns to be safe.
Wait…what?
Never mind.
moved to the suburbs.
issued a strongly worded statement against the anti-tolerance policies of Chick-fil-A.
…confiscated all guns at gunpoint.
…stepped up to the podium and said, “greetings gun violence”
To address gun violence in Chicago, Mayor Rahm Emanuel……
…wrote it at it’s source, 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. Washington D.C.
…held a gun to his head and threatened to kill himself if the violence did not stop.
…BAM! BAM! [what?] BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! [over the gun fire.] BAM! BAM! BAM! [Damn Large cap mags]BAM! BAM!…..
…shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die.
…declared everyone in Chicago rappers, so now the violence is OK.
…declared martial law and rounded up all the little old ladies who belong to the Tea Party.
…clicked his heels 3 times and said, “There’s no place like home, there’s no place like home, there’s no place like home.”
…called for arming of the law abiding citizens, and then was wrestled to the ground by his handlers, placed in a straightjacket and taken away.
…said, “Hey didn’t we have a similar straight line of the day with Oakland?”
…declared it open season on the Cubs, so no one important would get hurt.
…passed out “Dial 911” buttons to everyone.
…disarmed the cops, since they were the only people that would listen to him.
… he cracked down on gang violence! Nah, I’m kidding – he declared Chicago a bullet free zone.
…called republicans racist for noticing.
… asked Soros to hand out lavish amounts of cash, on the theory that one should never let a good Croesus go to waste.
… tried to re-vital-organize the community.
…tooks guns away from anyone without at least a high school diploma… solved most of the problem.
…wears earplugs
…brought in Joe Biden with his shotgun
…got a law passed that makes everybody wear big foam “we’re number one” hands at all times, over the violent protests of teenage boys.
…has given Michael Bloomberg the power to reduce the size of the targets.
…made the address 1060 West Addison Street.
…drove his steak knife into the counter of every gunstore in the MidWest shouting ,’Dead! Smith and Wesson, dead! Glock, dead! Winchester, dead!”
At least he did until one store owner shot him! (dead)
…had sex with a shotgun
To address gun violence in Chicago, Mayor Rahm Emanuel……ordered the city limits moved from each homicide scene
To address gun violence in Chicago, Mayor Rahm Emanuel……declared he was not aware of any gun violence and assured the press he would look into it.
gave guns to violent gangs in Chicago. If it worked for Mexico, it can work for Chicago, right?
outlawed gun violence.
Attempted to shoot himself… unfortunately he missed.
…sent SWAT on a gun seizure raid to Indiana.
asked the blacks to start shooting the whites so the media would stop talking about it.
…nothing
oops…that should have been:
..did nothing
Bacon to Doh for the nod to Wrigley.
….. not only did Rahm declare gun violence illegal, but he also declared gangs illegal! That way gangs won’t have guns!
…consulted with Hillary Clinton to find out which YouTube video was causing it.
…reminded everyone that Chicago is absolutely not an American consulate so quit treating it like one.
…got the Teamsters to unionize all the murder and mayhem jobs and even ease their restrictions on thuggery so blunt object proponents could compete for jobs.
…did a little interpretive dance.
…decreed all guns be modified to look like walkie talkies.
…went on a shooting spree in the City Hall to demonstrate how dangerous TEA Partiers are if guns aren’t outlawed.
…made 32oz softdrinks illegal.
…redefined “Gun Violence” to mean any death or injury caused by the legal use of a legal and properly registered weapon by a non-felon.
…made gang leaders his new drug, gun, violence and crime czars, no wait, that was his daddy obama. Never mind.
… gave the Mob permission to shoot anyone carrying a gun.
Enacted a 24/7 curfew on the city’s population. Anyone daring to leave their home will lose their citizenship and thereby not be counted as a casualty if wounded or killed by gunfire.
…vomited on himself.
banned all orchestras as a means of halting sax and violins
Promised to forbid news media for one day from reminding America that “Obama is from Chicago” for every gun turned in to the buy back program. Within a week they were covered for the next century.
said, “hello, gun violence!”
@50 see #19
should have given credit to art carney “hello, ball”
…had Dan Aykroyd, Artetha Franklin, and hologram John Belushi join him in the street to ask people to “Think, THINK!, think about what you’re tryin to do to me…”
…blamed it all on Illinois nazis. I hate Illinois nazis
…said what do you expect, we still haven’t replaced all the police cars that we wrecked chasing the blues brothers
…said it’s because John Candy is still in a truck
…was unavailable for comment as he was at a “good old blues brothers boys band” concert
…simply declared “we’re on a mission from God”
FYI – The Blues Brothers get my vote for one of the top 3 movies of all time!
@54 – Agree on Blues Brothers. It’s right up there with Princess Bride for quotability.
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