Straight Line of the Day: The Most Interesting Item Illegally Charged to an IRS Credit Card…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

The most interesting item illegally charged to an IRS credit card…

69 Comments

  1. The most interesting item illegally charged to an IRS credit card…

    …$3000 worth of Cat toys. And you can’t return ’em ’cause they have spit all over them! So now we’re stuck with $3000 worth of cat toys! Oh, sure…they’re fun. You got the little rubber mouse; has a bell inside of it- Haw haw haw! Boy, I hate it when it goes under the sofa! Whoa, gimme that! Gimme that! Hiss! hiss!

  2. One forty-five caliber automatic, two boxes of ammunition, four days’ concentrated emergency rations, one drug issue containing antibiotics, morphine, vitamin pills, pep pills, sleeping pills, tranquilizer pills, one miniature combination Russian phrase book and Bible, one hundred dollars in rubles, one hundred dollars in gold, nine packs of chewing gum, one issue of prophylactics, three lipsticks, three pair of nylon stockings. Shoot, a fella could have good time at an IRS convention with this stuff…

  3. Hey everybody have you heard
    They went and bought a mockingbird
    And when that mockingbird didn’t sing
    They went and bought a diamond ring

    And when that diamond ring didn’t shine
    They gonna surely break this heart of mine
    And that’s why I keep on tellin’ everybody
    Saying

    Hear me now and understand
    They better find me some piece of mind
    Cause if that piece of mind won’t stay
    I’m gonna find myself a better way

    And if that better way ain’t so
    We’ll ride them out on a railroad tie and get the tar to flow
    And that’s why I keep on shoutin’ in your ear
    Saying

    They might tell lies above, They might tell lies below
    But we will get the railroad ties and the tar will flow
    And that’s the reason why I keep on shouting in your ear
    No no no no no no no no baby, yeah

  4. …$10,000,000 for cookies from a Mr. or Mrs. Anonymiss, whose current whereabouts cannot be determined and who might be traveling under an assumed name. Return of said monies or delivery of the two cookies will bring this matter to a discreet close.

    …would be the six hundred pound puppies and the two crates of barbecue sauce charged to the Fast Food For Pardons Exchange program.

    …the money belts, at a cost of $2,000 each, for every government employee. The money belts are of course made from one dollar bills.

    …a warehouse full of Nelson Mandela commemorative car tires.

  5. The most interesting item illegally charged to an IRS credit card…

    spam spam spam egg and spam; spam spam spam spam spam spam baked beans spam spam spam…Spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam!
    …or Lobster Thermidor a Crevette with a mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and spam.

  6. …3,000 pressure cookers for the tax exemption status party thrown by the Detroit Death To The Infidel Mosque PAC.

    …the two sacrificial virgins who where later found to have not been members of a union and the one was not even a natural blond.

  7. The most interesting item illegally charged to an IRS credit card…

    …a colonscope. Actually, that’s not interesting at all. It’s expected.
    …a teeth whitening treatment for Joe Biden

  8. … training sessions for dealing with medical data. Because, c’mon, it’d be CRAZY to put the IRS in charge of administering a health care program. Right?

    *crickets*

    Right?

    *more crickets*

    Oh dear lord, we’re screwed…

  9. 12 Drummers Drumming
    11 Pipers Piping
    10 Lords-a-Leaping
    9 Ladies Dancing
    8 Maids-a-Milking
    7 Swans-a-Swimming
    6 Geese-a-Laying
    5 Gold Rings
    4 Colly Birds
    3 French Hens
    2 Turtle Doves
    And a Partridge in a Pear Tree.

  10. …USA Today ad in vain search of DNA expert who could distinguish a difference between IRS employee and a cockroach.

    …fees for monkey trainer to supply acting IRS Commissioners.

  11. Pingback: IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged!

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