Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
To ease the pain of Obamacare implementation, President Obama…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
To ease the pain of Obamacare implementation, President Obama…
Took two aspirin and went golfing in the morning.
…has ordered three hundred million tubes of K-Y Jelly.
…revealed you even might be able to keep your own doctor.
@2 – Uff dah
….blamed Bush
is handing out free shots of demerol or prilosec in a Rose Garden ceremony
is starting the death panels immediately, and is having them televised.
… made sure that antidepressants were covered by Obamacare. Well, if the IPAB will let you have any, at least.
@2 – Hmmm… I think we have a winner there, might be hard to top that one.
… is having the CIA sneak hashish into Anonymiss’ cookies.
… is working twice as hard to make sure that employers will no longer have to worry about having employees to cover in the first place.
… made it more painful. (It is the liberal MO, after all: if something is failing, then the solution is more of it.)
… gave a speech with no real content and a ton of buzzwords and condescension.
…wrote and signed an executive order requiring that everyone buy pain killers
…called everyone complaining racists.
…is doing his best make it possible for foreign doctors to come the U.S.
…is using the Prism program for early detection of signs that someone might not be feeling well and dropping them from health plans so that there’s more money left for free birth control
…act surprised and claim that he just found out about it on the news
…is imposing a tax on feeling pain
…is having sound-proofing installed on all presidential transportation and residences
…made some phone calls to make sure he can keep his doctor.
Re #2 – I credit the BOHICA speach.
…is handing out cyanide.
Lemme try that again Re #2 – I credit the BOHICA speach. (link fixored)
…renaming the Affordable Care Act (Obamacare) to the Affordable Safety System. This does two things, Obamacare will not exist therefore have not caused pain, and we’ll be left with only a pain in the ass.
…mandates Lidocaine laced envelopes, so your numb to the bad taste in your mouth.
…by saying, “You have to pay for it, before you find out what you’re not covered for.”
@2 and @17 – you just had to slip that one in on us.
To ease the pain of Obamacare implementation, President Obama…
Has included post natal abortions in the package.
has ordered IRS auditors to wear Happy Face masks
Pain? There is no pain. Isn’t that correct Citizen?
is expanding amnesty to have enough non-americans to share your pain.
…has appointed Dr. Jack Kevorkian to the post of “Pain Czar” while asking Axlerod, “They Shoot Horses, Don’t They?”.
…asked his pals in the entertainment industry to re-release the theme song from M*A*S*H, http://youtu.be/xIIqYqtR1lY
…Institutes the Medical Funding And Health agency. MFAH is here to help.
To ease the pain of Obamacare implementation, President Obama…
has changed the word “implementation” to “Funandgigglesticklishhehehehe!”
… wrote an executive order mandating everyone start practicing masochism. John Roberts claims it’s legit because it forces everyone to sit on tacks.
… wishes he could recall what Marx said was the opiate of the masses. Something like hopium.
… pointed out that the IRS has already proven it can give extra special attention to conservatives…
… reminded Americans that a sharknado would be worse than Obamacare.
…announced “Free Soma for everyone!”
is prescribing something he can ‘intercept.’
…recommended skittles and ice tea.
To Ease the Pain of Obamacare Implementation, President Obama has promised to maybe, almost, possibly but probably not keep you current Health care/Doctor.
To ease the pain of Obamacare implementation, President Obama…
…turned it over the Shriners to run. They’re so much fun to watch on those little go-karts!
…George Zimmerman111!!111
…sent EVERYONE a little blue pill, not just Grandma.
And Victory Gin. Yay Victory Gin!
…ate a puppy, and now he feels juuuust fiiiine.
…farmed out the assistance call center to India, then berated them for taking American jobs.
…told Holder to sneak real American Viagra into that cheap Canadian crap, then bust the Canadians to lift the collective American resolve.
…said publicly, “hey, at least I’m not letting the IRS run it…oh, wait.”
To ease the pain of Obamacare implementation, President Obama…
promises not to twist the knife after he slips it it.
to have enough so everyone can “Put a little ice on it.”
to hit everyone on the head with a hammer repeatedly. Then stop to help everyone gain some perspective.
To ease the pain of Obamacare implementation, President Obama…
promises complete walletectomies for everyone!
to kiss it and make it alllllll better snookums.
To ease the pain of Obamacare implementation, President Obama…
is making the insurance too expensive and too complicated to sign up for. That way,
it will look like people can have coverage – but none will ever have to actually
be provided.
…tells all Health Care companies to put “Squirrel” on the first and last page of every medical bill.
…gave everybody an exemption except for Dalton.
…decided Stand Your Ground laws meant you have to shoot yourself if you feel threatened by your healthcare options.
…reworded the regulation so that you are signed up by a Jackbooted “Candystriper”.
…rescinded the Turn Your Head And Scream Like A Girl Hernia Test requirement.
Will make the “Complaint Department” operate on the “one complaint-one bullet” philosophy.
To Ease the Pain of Obamacare Implementation, President Obama…
ordered the CIA, NSA and any other sneaky 3 letter government agency to give every American a free colonoscopy, since it’s the last private place that hasn’t been probed by him.
To Ease the Pain of Obamacare Implementation, President Obama…
promised to focus on jobs…no, really, this time he means it!
To Ease the Pain of Obamacare Implementation, President Obama…
will give every American a nice lollipop!
closed his windows so he wouldn’t have to hear the cries of anguish from the “masses”.
decided he deserved an extra “Mulligan” on each nine.
will visit each and everyone American and explain, “Hey, you f***ed up, you trusted us.”
…did absolutely nothing except blame everyone else.
To Ease the Pain of Obamacare Implementation, President Obama…
Recommended a good dose of Fireball whiskey every time the word obamcare is heard or imagined.
…declared that if he had a painful implementation it wouldn’t look anything like Obamacare.
…hired a bunch of creepy assed crackers to follow you through the process step by step.
…said “Hey that’s why we switched epidurals from childbirth to filling out this form”.
To Ease the Pain of Obamacare Implementation, President Obama…
recommends a Spoonful of Pablum. Herr Kapelmeister!
In ev’ry job that must be done
There is an element of fun
You find the fun and snap!
The job’s a game
[Sung]
And ev’ry task you undertake
Becomes a piece of cake
A lark! A spree! It’s very clear to see that
A Spoonful of pablum helps Obamacare go down
Obamacare go down-wown
Obamacare go down
Some Presidential pablum helps Obamacare go down
In a most delightful way
The President feathering his nest
Has very little time to rest
While spreading his bits of lies so big
Though quite intent in his pursuit
He has the same sorry tune to toot
He knows a song will move the job along – for
SOme Presidential pablum helps Obamacare go down
Obamacare go down-wown
Obamacare go down
Just some Presidential pablum helps Obamacare go down
In a most delightful way
[Interlude]
The Hopey Changey stuff may move the private sector
to coverage from the womb to the tomb
but paying for it they’ll have to find the dough
And they’ll take a little bite
From ev’ry wallet in sight
And hence (And hence),
They hope (They hope)
You’ll put up with the grope.
Ah-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h ah!
A Spoonful of Pablum helps Obamacaree go down
Obamacare go down-wown
Obamacare go down
Just some Presidential pablum helps Obamacare go down
In a most delightful way
… is offering 3 free months of Showtime and Cinemax if you sign up now with a health care exchange.
…has appointed Bill Clinton the I-Feel-Your-Pain Czar.
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