Straight Line of the Day: Obamacare’s Plan to Keep Your Private Medical Data Safe…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

Obamacare’s plan to keep your private medical data safe…

64 Comments

  1. Obamacare’s plan to keep your private medical data safe…

    …is to hide it under his mattress.

    …load it to google drive

    …lock it in the glove box of his golf cart. that way he can keep an eye on it.

  2. Obamacare’s plan to keep your private medical data safe…

    …is to have congress bury it in some piece of legislation since no one reads those anyway.

    ..is to hide the data in an undisclosed location in one of the 7 phantom states.

    ..is to hide the data in an undisclosed location on the Gulf Coast, perhaps Jacksonville.

  3. Obamacare’s plan to keep your private medical data safe…

    ala Indiana Jones, “I’m making it up as I go along.”

    ala Sun Tzu, “No plan remains intact after first contact with the enemy.”

    ala the Underwear Gnomes, “1. Medical Data! 2. ? 3. Security!”

    ala Fred Thompson in The Hunt for Red October, “Americans won’t do a document dump, son, without a plan.”

    It will be Number 9 and it will come from outer space!

    measure twice, cut once. [Cut? must be a typo]

    know how to kill everyone in the room. [Wait, that’s the Marines] [Sadly it might be their plan as well.]

    We don’t know what it will be, but we’ll love it when it comes together.

  4. Obamacare’s plan to keep your private medical data safe…

    … is to make three copies and entrust one each, for safekeeping, to Edward Snowden, Julian Assange and Bradley Manning.

    … is to encrypt everything by translating it into Russian – and send the data to Edward Snowden in care of Vladimir Putin.

  5. … is to sequester them. (“Sequester” is one of those terms, like warrantless wiretapping, drone striking, detaining in Guantanamo, or getting elected, that is only a crime when Republicans do it, not well-meaning Democrats. Right, MSM? The mainstream media is nodding in unison.)

  6. …will be hiding it in your Death Panel issued casket.

    …is totally secret but since it involves Mason jars and Funk and Wagnall’s porch they will be safe as can be.

    …will be left to Joe Biden now that he is done keeping an eye on the Stimulus funds.

    …:hiding them with Obama’s college records and birth certificate

  7. …depends on how strictly the word private can be used nowadays and your willingness to start fires in dumpsters.

    …next time someone steals your identity let them keep it.

    …he’ll be long gone when the BIG hacks begin.

    …inserting random profanity laced rants and conspiracy theories so hackers will think they have stumbled into a liberal blog comment section or a DNC talking points memo.

  8. Obamacare’s plan to keep your private medical data safe…

    … will involve trillions in new funding for a program like Witness Protection for anyone whose identity is compromised – i.e., all 316 million of us.

    … relies on the same cutting-edge technology that has made his solar energy and electric car initiatives such a success.

  9. Pingback: IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.