“Ooh, look, they’re out and about; they must be up to no good,” say racist ravens.

I believe I have it figured out and after the next two weeks all contestants will have 8 matches played. I have deleted the second match of those that played each other twice. I trust my math is correct. Now I just have to work out the schedule moving forward for the remaining matches.
Schedule
5/20/2026
Match 1
| Contestant | Record | Total Scores |
|---|---|---|
| Gloria Hendry | 1 – 5 – 0 | 177 – 21 1048 |
VS
| Contestant | Record | Total Scores |
|---|---|---|
| Berenice Marlohe | 1 – 6 – 0 | 430 – 17 – 881 |
Match 2
| Contestant | Record | Total Scores |
|---|---|---|
| Britt Ekland | 6 – 1 – 0 | 1199 – 14 – 368 |
VS
| Contestant | Record | Total Scores |
|---|---|---|
| Jane Seymour | 5 – 2 – 0 | 1131 – 6 – 716 |
5/27/2026
Match 1
| Contestant | Record | Total Scores |
|---|---|---|
| Gemma Arterton | 7 – 0 – 0 | 1052 – 7 – 436 |
VS
| Contestant | Record | Total Scores |
|---|---|---|
| Tonia Sotiropoulou | 2 – 5 – 0 | 603 – 16 – 757 |
Match 2
| Contestant | Record | Total Scores |
|---|---|---|
| Lea Seydoux | 4 – 3 – 0 | 869 – 9 – 532 |
VS
| Contestant | Record | Total Scores |
|---|---|---|
| Diana Rigg | 7 – 0 – 0 | 1394 – 7 – 370 |
Match 3
| Contestant | Record | Total Scores |
|---|---|---|
| Catherine Schell | 3 – 4 – 0 | 638 – 15 – 935 |
VS
| Contestant | Record | Total Scores |
|---|---|---|
| Gloria Hendry | TBD | TBD |
from our own Bob B:
.
If you are a rich man,
We will take your money, buck by buck, accounts we’ll surely drain
All day long we’ll tax and fine and fee
‘Til you’re not a wealthy man.
I wouldn’t have to work hard.
Living off the grift that fraud-based NGOs always obtain
If you’re even a little bitty rich
You’re a target of our evil plan
I’d build a big McMansion from your former riches,
And so will a dozen of my pals
I’d get a new EV with the stolen loot I took
There might be one long lawsuit filed in the courts
And one IRS probe coming down,
But they will all lead nowhere, ‘cus you’re a schnook
Once you’re not a rich man,
We’ll move on and find another sucker we can bleed wealth from
Anyone who has that thing we want
All day long we’ll break ‘em to a bum.
OK, say I. Let it. Doesn’t bother me.
“If x + y = 7, . . .”
. . . which is as likely or unlikely as x + y equalling 6 or 8, and furthermore is assuming facts not in evidence . . .
“then what is y?”
What, indeed?
Why drag y into this at all?
If you’re able to assume the godlike power to deem that x has a certain value — out of infinite possibilities — why, then, can’t I do the same for y? Let someone else reconcile the discrepancy in the equation. We’ve both made our cases, and I say they stand on equal ground.
Week 2 went smoothly.
Results
Standings
| Contestant | Record | Points | Average | Points Against | Average Score |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Ursula Andress | 2 – 0 – 0 | 106 | 53.00 | 68 | 53.00 – 34.00 |
| Elke Sommer | 2 – 0 – 0 | 103 | 51.50 | 73 | 51.50 – 36.50 |
| Sharon Tate | 1 – 1 – 0 | 108 | 54.00 | 71 | 54.00 – 35.50 |
| Tuesday Weld | 1 – 1 – 0 | 95 | 47.50 | 76 | 47.50 – 38.00 |
| Dyan Cannon | 1 – 1 – 0 | 86 | 43.00 | 77 | 43.00 – 38.50 |
| Eva Renzi | 1 – 1 – 0 | 80 | 40.00 | 81 | 40.00 – 40.50 |
| Mary Ure | 0 – 2 – 0 | 50 | 25.00 | 115 | 25.00 – 57.50 |
| Jean Seberg | 0 – 2 – 0 | 48 | 24.00 | 118 | 24.00 – 59.00 |
Week 3