Air travelers will no longer be asked, “Has anyone unknown to you asked you to carry an item on this flight?” and “Have any of the items you are traveling with been out of your immediate control since the time you packed them?” despite the one in 500 quintillion chance that they might trip up a terrorist plot. Instead of getting rid of the questions altogether, maybe they should just try being smarter about them. Like, as the ticket agent weighs the luggage, he could just casually ask, “So, what kind of detonator did you put on your bomb?”

“It’s an altitude sensitive… I mean… I don’t what you’re talking about!”

“Aha! Security, take him away and beat him!”