I’m not good at this leagal mumbo jumbo; did the death penalty get outlawed again? What’s it with with these judges anyway? First they say we can only execute members of Mensa, then we can’t give props to God when saying the pledge, and now we can’t kill criminals all together. What gives? Now we’ll just have to stick to killing evil foreigners; much less paperwork. Hell, we can “regime change” until the seas turn red with blood and we don’t have to do any appeals or nut’n. Well, I just hope that when attacked by a criminal in the street you still don’t have to go through some trial before being able to unload a fifteen round clip into the guy and then slapping in another clip and unloading that into him and then kicking him a few times. And I better not end up being stuck at the police station answering questions for an hour next time either.

I read that American troops are headed to the Ivory Coast. My first question was, what country or countries is the Ivory Coast in? Ends up – I’m not making this up – it is a country! A country named “Ivory Coast.” That’s not even a good enough name for like a little town. I could maybe see it as the name of a hotel, but a whole country! What war did they lose to get stuck with that name? So, I looked it up in the CIA World Fact Book, but it wasn’t there. So I then looked under ‘C’ in case it was listed as “Coast, Ivory” for some reason. There I found Cote d’Ivoire which seemed to be it. I found out they have close ties to France and export coffee before my attention span petered out. Anyway, the American troops are going there to save missionary children from violent rebels (can we be anymore the “good guys” than that?) and perhaps kill some Ivory Coastians or whatever you call them. Well, Godspeed to them and… is one of it’s neighbors named “Burkina Faso”? Well, I guess not everyone can make fun of the Ivory Coast. My God, how many countries are there?