Kennedy has come out against going to war with Iraq. He outlines a number of reasons to which I respond by pointing out how large his head is. It’s HUGE! He has to be obese to lower his center of gravity and keep from toppling over. Now, the size of his head probably has nothing to do with the value of his arguments, but I would then point out that Rep. Nadler has a very large head as well. Anyway, depite his enourmous head and the fact that he talks funny, Kennedy still has some pull in the Senate, due probably to the fear from other Senators that he might eat them, offer them a ride home, or, worst of all, headbutt them. Hopefully he won’t slow down America’s momentum for action the way he would slow down a bus by boarding it, as many Democrats may listen to him and a few may then understand what he is saying. So, this begs the question: who is the largest Republican Senator? I think we should settle this issue the way they settle all disputes in Japan – by battle of sumo.

Bush scaled back his Iraq resolution so the Democrats might not be such whiny bitches about it. Instead of being able to kill anyone he wants when he wants and making it optional to tell anyone, he decided to be nice and limit his killing and tell the Speaker of the House and the president pro tempore before mass-slaughter commences. I guess he’d just say, “Hey, just so you know, I’m going to kill me some Iraqis.” Then he could shake his fist at them and threaten, “And don’t you tell any of the Europeans so they can ruin my fun.” And I bet they would listen, because Bush looks like he might actually follow through and punch someone. So I think this system works fine. Daschle, who I believe said in a speech he is not interested in the security of the American people, still thinks there is a long way to go with the resolution. Who knows what that means? He probably wants to remove all that distracting war talk and instead make the Iraq resolution a repeal of the tax cut. Perhaps Bush can punch him. He’ll probably whine about it to the press, but then Bush can threaten to punch him again. Daschle will then remember how much that first punch hurt and capitulate. It’s a common but effective political strategy. Anyway, something needs to be done to get moving on the Iraq attack; every day Saddam’s palaces aren’t piles of rubble, baby Jesus cries.