Alex Knapp wonders if the Democrats are having a Bulworth fantasy. That movie was so stupid. I liked the part where he was shot in the end.

I notice that I am now the number one result on Google for “IMAO”. Thanks to all who have linked to me to make this possible. To celebrate this meaningless accomplishment, I have added a new link to the left to further frustrate all the people who come to my page in the futile hope of finding out what IMAO means.

Sen. Toricelli has dropped out of the race for Senate, saying he needed to devote more time to his family and avoiding prosecution. He finally decided that he could not both fulfill his duties as Senator while at the same time reliably evading capture from authorities. Toricelli will fulfill the remainder of his term, collecting as much money for favors as he can in his last ninety days, and then, true to his nickname, “torch” his Senate office before fleeing for whereabouts unknown. Here at IMAO, we (i.e., I) wish him well.

Dirty, filthy hippy Ira Einhorn is going on trial this week for murder, but can’t we can’t kill him because of an agreement with France. He fled there trying to escape the law, and France wouldn’t give him back to us unless we agreed not to kill him. Who knows how many mangy hippies are hiding in France just so we can’t execute them? This is where America could really use an ally who does executions, because then we could be like, “Hey, we won’t kill him, France. You can give him to us.” Then we hand him over to our ally and have them string him up while we laugh at the stupid Frogs. Seriously, though, France shouldn’t stand in the way of executions; we’ll never have closer on the 60’s until we’ve killed all hippies dead.

2,500 hundred protestors marched in front of Dick Cheney’s residence on Sunday, blaming him for the push towards war. Now I heard that Cheney was trying to take a nap at the time, so he was royally pissed when all the whining idiots woke him up. The protestors didn’t even see him coming as they just stood there chanting, “No blood for oil!” just barely turning in time to see Cheney flying towards them crying, “Blood!!!” They stood there like deer caught in the headlights as he dived tackled three protestors at once and then proceeded to pummel five more until he started feeling some pains in his chest. Then he knocked down and beat the crap out of two more of them before calling it a night.

And what’s with the protestors still using “No Blood for Oil” slogans? Update: we don’t care about oil. Those bastards in the Middle East killed are people and are plotting to kill more; what we want is their blood. I guess “No Blood for Blood” doesn’t have quite the same ring to it, though.