Make sure to read this tribute to our servicemen (thanks to Bill Quick for pointing me to it).
Archive of entries posted on 9th October 2002
Who’s Our Bitch Now?
I haven’t said much about the Maryland sniper as I don’t find anything very funny about that situation (if you want someone who’ll push the limits of good taste, go to Amish Tech Support), but here’s something worth mentioning: it hasn’t caused a big push for new anti-gun legislation. It seems like the perfect event to cause anti-gun hysteria as there is a deranged madman who is going around shooting people. It’s the horrible tragedy that liberals have always warned would happen! Hey, maybe if we had laws to keep people from having rifles, he’d only be able to take out his anger on neighborhood cats! Let’s start taking away everyone’s guns now while they’re scared and not thinking critically! But no serious politician is making those arguments. Why? Because we’re winning, that’s why. An election is near, and the politicians are too scared of us to try and pass any more idiotic gun laws. Maybe it’s because of our powerful arguments or because of the vast gun lobby or because we all have lots of guns and ammo and know how to use them, but, whatever it is, politicians piss their pants at the thought of crossing us. Yeah, that’s right, us gun-nuts now own Congress! For our first trick, we made the liberals shut up; now, let’s make them dance! Dance, our monkeys, dance! Bwa ha ha ha!
A Question of No Importance
Apropos to nut’n, were the can and the can opener invented simultaneously? I figure someone didn’t invent the can opener first and then said, “Hey, we’ve got this great opener, now let’s invent something it can open.” If that didn’t happen, and they were not both made at the same time, that means that, after the first man successful sealed food inside a can, he stood a long while just staring at it wondering, “Now how the hell do I get it out of there? Now this seems like such a dumb idea, because I’m hungry.” I know that if someone had taken my food, sealed it inside a can, and didn’t have a way of getting it out, I’d be pretty pissed.
Do It For Little Timmy
I just checked my map of the Middle East this morning… Iraq is still there! What gives! Congress is actually still debating an attack! What the hell are we paying them for! Each day Saddam lives, it is a profanity to you, to your family, to your neighbors, to that snot-nosed kid who lives down the street, and to baby Jesus. But all they can do is talk talk talk, when they should be letting our trigger fingers do the talking. At this rate, when we finally cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war, the dogs are going to be old and have hip problems and just want to nap. And, then we’ll have to explain to little Timmy that we need to put them down, and little Timmy will not understand. Little Timmy will start crying, “Please, mister, don’t kill my war dogs!” and it will be a mess. But Democrats, who laugh at little Timmy’s tears, are still dragging their feet. They’re afraid the resolution is too broad and then Bush will use it to go attack Portugal or something. Who cares? And then some, like Sen. Carl Levin, want us to wait for U.N. Security Council approval before we do anything. That’s right; before we can defend our national security and keep Timmy’s war dogs fetching sticks, Levin wants us to get the approval of the frogs! Why doesn’t the guy just come out and admit he hates the sovereignty of the U.S. and never cared for apple pie? Why does he even act like he cares about the security of the American people when its so obvious he doesn’t? Who elects these loons?
Man, now they’ve drawn me into the debate. Okay, no more talking, unless its orders on where to drop the bombs.