Katherine Harris has released a new book on her experiences in the Florida election fiasco and will probably be elected to Congress this November. Good for her, because she took a lot of abuse at the hands of supposedly sensitive and caring liberals. They made fun of Harris because she wore a lot of make up. In the same vein, they hated Linda Tripp because she was overweight. Conservatives called this childish and immature, but how is that any different from conservatives making fun of liberals because they’re a bunch of stupid, evil hippies who are complete retards have no sense of morality and whine a lot and are wrong about everything and in a just world would be locked in cages and studied using random shocks to try and see how their thinking went so perverse and then finally force them to work in coal mines so we are protected from their idiotic ideas plus have more coal? It’s no different what so ever, and I think we all have some personal reflection to do on this subject.
Archive of entries posted on 11th October 2002
Trust Them About as Far as a 9mm Will Throw Them
Politicians have learned that turning against guns harms them politically, so many former anti-gun nazis are pretending to like guns now. John Lott has a story about Ed Rendell, the Democratic guber candidate in Pennsylvania, that reminds us that, even though the anti-gun people act nice now, vomitous oil still oozes through their rotten veins and clots in their pea-size brains which still fantasize about confiscating our guns. I’m not saying an anti-gunner can’t ever reform, I’m just saying that, like an ex-KKK member, they should prove themselves by acts outside of politics. So, if a former enemy of freedom starts talking how he likes hunters now, do listen politely, but keep your hand near your holster.
The Mother of All Assassinations
Well, 77-23, the ball is now in Bush’s court. The Democrats added that all diplomatic means must be exhausted before force is used, which I think means that all cruise missiles have to be used up before ground troops are sent in to finish off what’s left. Bush can now start the Iraqi kill’n whenever he wants, and hopefully he’ll do it soon. I guess he can wait for the U.N. Security Council to give approval, but that could be taken as an admission that their opinion matters. To me, the most efficient way would be to start bombing the crap out of Iraq now, but keep it a secret until we get approval from the U.N. Then we could pretend we did all that damage in one day and they’d be like, “Holy crap!” (U.N. people are gullible). So, now the question is how do we kill Saddam? We could just snipe him, but that’s boring. Another idea is to bomb the building he is in collapsing it all on top of him, but that makes it hard to confirm the body and thus leaves open the possibility of another sequel. My idea is to capture him live, tie him to some stakes in the middle of the desert, and then drop a nuclear bomb on him. Then Bush could appear on a worldwide broadcast saying, “That’s what happens when you mess with the U.S., foo’!” The Commies will probably pee their pants over that one.
Take One Last Look Before It’s All Blown Away
Iraq on Thursday allowed reporters into one of their factories that was suspected of developing nuclear arms. Gen. Hussan Mohammed Amin (do you get made fun of at school in the Middle East if you are not named Mohammed?) led the tour. “The only things we Iraqis make here is toothbrushes,” Amin told the reporters, “Deadly, deadly toothbrushes.” He then proceeded to laugh in an evil and suspicious manner.
“Why do you need so many toothbrushes?” asked one of the reporters, “I’ve talked to a number of Iraqis since I’ve been here, and I can tell you for sure that no one is using them.”
“Uh… did I say toothbrushes? I meant mustache combs,” Amin corrected, “Simple mustache combs; not made with plutonium.” He then started to laugh evilly again, but caught himself this time.
“Why are there signs cautioning of radioactivity everywhere?” asked another reporter.
“Uh… those are cautioning of fans. Yes, fans. Uh… some people don’t like air blown on them. They are very sensitive, you know.”
Amin then showed the reporters the various machines. “This one mixes the plastic. Uh… this one molds the plastic. And this one creates the housing for the radioactive material… uh, I mean– this one also does something involving… uh… what did I say… ah, yes… mustache combs. It is another mustache comb machine.”
“Will we get to see any of these mustache combs,” a reporter inquired.
Amin then pulled out a gun and shot the reporter plus another one behind him. “Let that be a lesson to you: if you question our mustache combs, I will kill you and the person next to you. Now, let’s go to the next mustache comb production room. There are many warheads lying on the ground, so be careful not to trip.”
They Must Be Easier to Win Than a Grammy
“Jimmy Carter Wins Nobel Peace Prize.” I’m still sleepy this morning, so maybe I’m just confused, but I think they gave Carter a Nobel Peace Prize for some reason. No, I don’t think it’s The Onion I’m reading. And it is the Nobel Peace Prize, not the Nobel Useless Idiot Prize or the Nobel Appeaser of Communists and Terrorists Prize. Wow, they actually placed Carter with such luminaries as… uh… Yasser Arafat. Well, at least they didn’t give him one for economics.