Socialists are trying to take over Minnesota! They are going to use evil Socialist techniques to flood Minnesota with their Socialist brethren to turn the election. Their plans are to first take Minnesota, then Ohio, and then the world! Must we immediately kill them all before it’s too late, you ask? Yes, you are correct. First, they must be exposed. Start asking random people if they think we should have government run healthcare. If he says yes, he is a Socialist; kill him. Don’t try and reasons with them – I’ve tried it; it doesn’t work. You may be asking now whether it is illegal to kill Socialists. I don’t imagine why it would be, but you may want to check with your local law enforcement.

Now here is who I’d like to work for. She gave 25,000 shotgun shells to her employees and told them to kill anything that posed a threat to her fish hatchery. In the end, they killed 4,000 endangered and protected birds plus one alligator. Of course, now the Man is trying to keep her down. Personally, I’ve never cared for birds; they think they’re so cool because they can fly and you can’t, and then you know what they do to your cars. I don’t have any problems with the penguins, though, and, out of patriotism, I respect the bald eagle, but all other birds deserve shotgun death. You especially have to be careful of the endangered birds, because, when their numbers get down, those birds get desperate and you don’t know what they’ll do. So, I think this fish hatchery woman, instead of being sent to prison, should be given a medal for her bird-shotgunning heroism.

Goddam Commies! North Korea admits to having a secret nuclear weapons program (well, I guess not secret anymore since they admitted to it). Just goes to show you the truth of the statement that the only good Commie is a dead Commie… and I guess the only amoral Commies is a severly injured Commie. All other Commies are evil and should be immediately shot dead before they the get nuclear weapons. Though we must fight terrorists now, we must not forget the even more important goal of making all Commies good.