I watched Bush’s speech last night, and, though it was good and straight to the point, it was all stuff we already knew. I thought it would have been awesome if he ended with some huge surprise.
“So, with everything I have outlined, it seems that Iraq is our biggest threat… but then I looked further into the issue. Where was Iraq getting all its funding? Where were they getting their intelligence data? Who was behind Saddam and his push for evil?” Bush then pointed to Gerhard Schroeder who sat among them in the audience. “It was Germany behind this all along! That’s why I use this opportunity not to declare war on Iraq, but on Germany!”
“This is absurd!” Schroeder exclaimed, trying to look shocked, “You unilateralist Americans have finally gone insane.”
“Germany never gave up their evil Nazi ways,” Bush continued, staring at the evil Schroeder, “They just hid them, using Iraq as their patsy as they pretended all they were interested in were making quality automobiles. But, the truth is, Schroeder is the son of Hitler and Saddam is his illegitimate half brother!”
“Lies! Lies!” Schroeder yelled, rising to his feet. He could then see that no one else believed him, his Hitler evil too obvious. He then began to laugh, a laugh of pure evil that curdled one’s blood. “We’ll bury you America! We’ll bury you all!” He then was propelled skyward by a jetpack hidden under his coat, crashing through the skylight for his escape.
I’m not saying the speech was bad; I’m just saying it should have had a bit more theatrics if it’s going to play in a prime time slot.