The Mother of All Assassinations

Well, 77-23, the ball is now in Bush’s court. The Democrats added that all diplomatic means must be exhausted before force is used, which I think means that all cruise missiles have to be used up before ground troops are sent in to finish off what’s left. Bush can now start the Iraqi kill’n whenever he wants, and hopefully he’ll do it soon. I guess he can wait for the U.N. Security Council to give approval, but that could be taken as an admission that their opinion matters. To me, the most efficient way would be to start bombing the crap out of Iraq now, but keep it a secret until we get approval from the U.N. Then we could pretend we did all that damage in one day and they’d be like, “Holy crap!” (U.N. people are gullible). So, now the question is how do we kill Saddam? We could just snipe him, but that’s boring. Another idea is to bomb the building he is in collapsing it all on top of him, but that makes it hard to confirm the body and thus leaves open the possibility of another sequel. My idea is to capture him live, tie him to some stakes in the middle of the desert, and then drop a nuclear bomb on him. Then Bush could appear on a worldwide broadcast saying, “That’s what happens when you mess with the U.S., foo’!” The Commies will probably pee their pants over that one.

2 Comments

  1. Best execution method:
    Hog-tie Saddam/terrorist inside a fuel-saturated burning remotely controlled airplane over the desert. When the ropes burn though, he’d be able to jump out of the plane. The corpse would then be run over by an armored division.

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