Today, the Iraqi parliament was scheduled to vote on whether to accept the U.N. resolution , but, just before the vote, they were all killed by a U.S. bomb attack. This bombing came just hours after Saddam’s son — whose voice carries weight in Iraq — was killed by a sniper bullet just as he was about to give his opinion on the resolution.
“This is an outrage,” Ari Fleischer told the press with poorly faked anger. “No one in Iraq has yet to even mentioned the U.N. resolution. This is pure defiance, and I think the only solution is to start fire bombing Iraq and the countries near it.” He then took a few casual sips from a martini.
“Isn’t the reason we haven’t heard a decision from Iraq because the U.S. keeps killing anyone who is about to say something about it,” asked a reporter just before being jumped on and then pummeled by Fleischer. There were no more questions, though there was some crying.
Saddam is said to soon be giving his decision on the U.N. Resolution, but no exact time table has been given as he is “very scared” and “in need of a new pair of pants.”
“If we do not hear a decision soon,” Bush said in a speech from the Whitehouse lawn, “we will have no choice but to kill Arafat.”
When asked why Arafat, Bush responded, “Isn’t he the leader of Iraq?”
Seeing confused looks from the crowd, he then asked, “So, if I were to kill Arafat in a hail of gun fire in vengeance for him trying to assassinate my father, I’d look kind of stupid?”
Bush then looked agitated. “On an unrelated matter, I need to very quickly make some phone calls.” He then turned to leave, but suddenly stopped saying, “Ah, f–k it. I’m going to go play some golf.”