Kim du Toit’s gratuitous gun pic today is of the Skorpion (the Klobb for those who played Goldeneye for the N64). This gun is a bit of a sore subject for me. The lobby scene in The Matrix was one of the greatest pieces of art ever made – nearly perfect except for one part. You see Neo clearly firing two Skorpions, but then they cut to his feet and you see rifle casings hitting the ground. I know it’s a virtual world, but a Skorpion firing rifle rounds? Come on!
Michele, The Most Hawkish and Blood-Hungry Blogger, fell for an internet hoax (a really good one). The complaint about the Real Ultimate Power site causing violence does seem credible, though, because I visited that webpage a while ago and it got me so pumped I nearly kicked my mom in the face. It was totally sweet.
Speaking of humor sites, Joanne Jacobs pointed out this one. Sally and Johnny are white, yet black people totally love them. It’s crazy!
I haven’t complained about us not attacking Iraq for over a day now, so instead go to Empire of Man for a quick rant.
The Carnival of the Vanities is up.
Archive of entries posted on 20th November 2002
Finding Terrorists Too Scary, Canadians Attack Frank
I know many of you come to IMAO to hear the opinion of a real American on the important issues of today, but do you ever wonder what a Canadian thinks? No, it’s never crossed my mind either, but Glenn from Canada left this comment to a previous post (comment is slightly edited to remove objectionable content and for fun):
Why doesn’t America bomb the f–k out of the whole word and get it over with, eh … cause then your desire to kill will mean you will have to kill Americans. and you will do it. and wouldn’t that be a treat, eh? oh, i’m sorry, you already do kill each other on a daily basis. my thanks to the beltway sniper for all the laughs. one suggestion though for the future, don’t kill american adults, kill the children so they won’t breed, eh.
He then repeated his comment in French as required by law.
Now, though I have wrote a short history of Canada, I’m no expert on Canadians. I’m not even really sure where their country is; I mean, they’re never in the news or seemed particularly significant, so I never bothered to learn anything about them. I believe it’s a squalid dictatorship like many countries that aren’t kick ass like the U.S., and the people are thus fed anti-Americanism to distract them from their own problems. Bombing them would only feed into this anti-Americanism, but any other solution would involve not bombing them and I just don’t think that’s morally right.
Incidentally, I just read Jonah Goldberg’s cover article of the latest National Review which is all about how Canada is completely useless and that invading them would do them some good. Everyone should give it a look-see, especially Glenn.
The Homeland Will Be Secure When Our Enemies Are All Dead
Despite Democrat’s utter contempt for the safety of the American people, the Homeland Security Bill has been passed. I’m too lazy to read anything about it and thus develop an opinion on it, but here are some provisions I hope are in it:
*Makes it clear that the Muslim tradition of murdering infidels is no longer a protected form of religious expression.
*Since many terrorists get in through Canada, all of Canada will be mined. As an extra precaution, anyone ending a sentence in “eh?” will be immediately shot.
*Panama will be nuked to create a larger gap between peaceful North America and the dangerous South America.
*Home ownership of firearms will be encouraged by a declaration that anyone who doesn’t own a gun is a “pussy.”
*Anyone excited about Gore running for the presidency will be placed on a watch list. Gore himself will be placed in a solitary confinement in a sound proof room composed entirely of plastic just in case he has powers like Magneto or plans on speaking again.
*Since vast national forests are a good place for terrorists to hide, they will be infested with ninjas.
*All liberal universities will be bombed. The six remaining universities will be watched carefully.
*It is now illegal to be French.
*Ann Arbor, Michigan will be placed on the list of terrorist nations. U.S. will enforce a regime change if they don’t tell us where they’re hiding their WMD’s.
*Voting for a Democrat is now considered an attack against the nation’s security and is classified as an act of treason.
As always, if you have any more suggestions to help national security, put them in the comments section.