A correspondent for Al-Jazeera said he has received a six page document threatening more attacks on New York and Washington unless we stop supporting Israel and other governments that “oppress” Muslims. They also called on us to all convert to Islam. There has been no immediate response from Washington; perhaps they’re all busy converting to Islam (snicker snicker).
I have a few things to say about this. First off, the threat is six pages long. How the hell can you go on for six pages with a threat? If you’re trying to scare people, don’t bore them.
Second, why New York and Washington again? We have other cities. Maybe they like some restaurants there.
Thirdly, what’s this about not supporting governments that oppress Muslims? That pretty much rules out every government in the Middle East.
Lastly, one thing I like about Christianity is that there are other reasons to be a Christian than avoiding being blown up by Christians. The Muslims, on the other hand, seem to have the “avoid being blown up” reason as their main argument. I know absolutely no other reason to be a Muslim than to steer clear of the wrath of other Muslims, and even that is certainly not a hundred percent effective. If Muslims go door to door like Jehovah Witnesses, I hope they have better reasons, or maybe it is just them shouting, “Convert to Islam or I keeeel you!” and then handing you a pamphlet entitled “The Advantages of Not Being Blown Up by Muslims” and maybe another one called “‘Islam Means Peace’ and Other Ironies.”