Taking issue with Democratic Sen. Tom Daschle, the White House spokesman said Monday it’s not right to compare violent religious fundamentalists overseas to American commentators who sound off on the air.
“For one thing, when we come after Daschle, we’re not going to do something retarded thing like blow ourselves up,” said President Bush’s press secretary, Ari Fleischer. “Plus, our beating of him will have nothing to do with religion and everything to do with him being a slimy weasel.”
When asked if the White House condemned anyone who would threaten Sen. Daschle and his family, Fleischer responded, “That would be quite hypocritical since I myself have threatened Daschle and his family on many occasions. Once, I killed his cat and placed it in a shoebox with a letter telling him he was next. The President believes in the Constitutional right to threats, and he will kill the household pets of anyone who would threaten that right to threats.”
On the topic of whether there was any sympathy for Daschle and his plight, Fleischer remarked, “Aww, the po’ wittle Daschle doesn’t like people to say mean things to him on the radio. Why don’t I get the baby his bottle? Seriously, though, I want Daschle to know that, if he brings up this topic again, I will harm him and his family.”
A reporter then asked if making such threats against Daschle was actually legal. Fleischer casually produced a baseball bat from behind the podium and the question was withdrawn.
When asked for comment, Daschle hid behind his chair in his office and started crying. Despite reporters threatening him and his family, the only statement they were able to get from him was, “I want my mommy!”