Archive of entries posted on 9th January 2003

Links of the Day… and Poetry!

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Here’s a poem that’s been making it rounds on the blogosphere:

CAUSA BELLI by Andrew Motion
They read good books, and quote, but never learn
a language other than the scream of rocket-burn.
Our straighter talk is drowned but ironclad:
elections, money, empire, oil and Dad.

It was penned by some British poet laureate, and everyone who’s anyone is making a parody. Tim Blair was probably first, but Emperor Misha has one too, as does AcidMan, and Laurence Simon. Michele has made making one a initiation rite into her prestigious Club Katana, so here is my attempt:

CAUSA I SAID SO by Frank J.
The peaceniks loudly protest and preen and pose
so we blast them all with a high-power fire hose.
And though the doves may work and toil,
they’ll never stop us from bombing Baghdad and stealing its oil.

UPDATE: I was going to update with more poetry links, but it’s easier to just link again to Tim Blair who has the most complete list.

In My World: Sen. Murray Defends Bin Laden Comments and Calls for Death of America

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Outrage followed Sen. Patty Murray’s remarks in which she praised Osama bin Laden by saying:

“He’s been out in these countries for decades building schools, building roads, building infrastructure, building day care facilities, building health care facilities and people are extremely grateful. He’s made their lives better. We have not done that.”

Sen. Murray has now defended her remarks, accusing people of twisting her words and stating that injustices like that is exactly why she now supports Osama bin Laden’s goal of destroying America.
“There wouldn’t be so much controversy if it weren’t for the Zionist controlled media,” Sen. Murray told reporters as she fiddled with what looked like a bomb. “Soon they and all the Crusaders will taste the just wrath of Osama bin Laden… as soon as he is done building The Terror Tots daycare center and filling in the potholes on Suicide Bomber Blvd.” She then concluded with a shout of “Death to America!” and ululated for a minute straight, impressing the press in attendance.

Senator Patty Murray
Sen. Patty Murray had previously tried to destroy America only by supporting liberal policies, but now she vows more direct means such as violent acts of terrorism. If you see Sen. Murray, consider her armed, dangerous, and unapologetic. Do not approach her, but instead contact the FBI.

But We’re Angry Now

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Britain wants us to wait until Autumn for war with Iraq. Those crumpet-eating pansies! Why don’t we just wait until the problem is taken care of by the earth being swallowed by the sun? This is why I’ve always been against having allies; inevitably, allies to America will be other countries than America, and thus cowardly whiners. We should never have started the U.N.; that just gave countries the idea they can have opinions contrary to our own.
What happens while we are waiting? Maybe someone else will have war with Iraq and then we’ll lose our chance. Then whom will we wreak our unholy vengeance upon? Iran? Sure, it’s only a one-letter difference, but it’s just not the same.
More, likely, while we’re waiting, Saddam will finish hollowing out a volcano and thus be well on his way to full-fledged supervillainy. He’ll probably even make a weather-controlling laser. Then, when in September London is being torn apart by tornados, we can just be like, “We’d love to help, but, technically, fall isn’t for a few more days, and we don’t want to break our word.”
But, we can’t just sit here and wait. I guess that means we have to convince our allies to attack now. So how do we do that? I know what you’re saying: bomb the crap out of them. But, the first rule of diplomacy is “You can’t bomb your allies.” Yeah, I don’t understand the reasoning either, but it’s just one of those universally agreed upon rules. Instead, diplomacy only allows us to talk to them. So I guess the answer is threats of bombing.