Bin Laden reportedly has a new letter out, telling Muslims to unite and fight against the “crusader coalition.” The good news is, in this letter, he never mentions a particular country, so maybe he just hates Liechtenstein now. I know I do.
If he is talking about the United States and Israel, though, that doesn’t seem to make much sense, because he’s asking Muslims to stop fighting each other and instead just fight us. Why the hell would they want to do that? They’ve seen what’s happened to countries that tried to fight the U.S. and Israel: they got their asses handed back to them on a platter. But Muslims in the Middle East actually stand a chance fighting each other; that’s poorly trained troops with old Russian weaponry against poorly trained troops with old Russian weaponry. Who knows who may win? There’s a lot more suspense in those match-ups than the U.S. kicking around Iraq once more. Maybe if the Middle East countries are smart (history shows they are quite retarded, though), they could have some big war against each other and broadcast it on pay-per-view.
Also, bin Laden said that our true intentions are revealed, which is to “target Islam and Muslims.” That’s just silly. Doesn’t hear how we believe “Islam means peace”? Why would we want to destroy something that means peace? That would be wacky.
Finally, bin Laden mysteriously defends Al Qaeda leaders for unspecified mistakes saying, “The honor of righteous men should be protected despite whatever faults they may commit.” He doesn’t elaborate, but my guess is that he is referring to an Al Qaeda leader doing things like:
* Smoking in the boy’s bathroom.
* Drag racing.
* Growing an afro.
* Break dancing at inappropriate times.
* Wearing excessive eye-shadow.
* Thinking he’s “all that” when he’s not.
* Hitting his younger brother.
I’m going to go out on limb, though, and guess that bin Laden is not faulting him for the murdering.