Since war is almost here, we face the question of what to do with Iraq after the war. The obvious answer is take all its oil, steal all its resources, and pave it over into extra parking for Turkey. Others want to set up a democracy in Iraq, but that sounds complicated. It’s much easier to just knock out the entire infrastructure of Iraq, give the Iraqis some small arms, and establish an anarchy so that things will naturally sort themselves out.
Here are some other ideas for a post-war Iraq:
*Secret Ninja Training Ground: We don’t have a secret ninja training ground (or maybe we do and it’s just secret). The key to this would be making sure no one knows about it. If someone asks what we’re doing in Iraq, we say, “Not training ninjas, that’s for sure… Hey look behind you! A UFO!”
*The “What Happens When You Piss Off America” Museum: A lot of countries don’t completely understand what will happen to them if they make us mad, so let’s give them a visual aid. Take all the destruction we do to Iraq and make a museum exhibit out of it. Be great for Kim Jong Il to go see.
*Center of Operations for the Conquering/Oil-Stealing of All of Middle East: Make high tech facitilites in Iraq to help in eventually conquering the rest of the Middle East and stealing their oil. If people start asking what we’re doing, shoot them.
*Place to Keep Our Stuff: I know I have a lot of junk that I just don’t want to throw away; let’s put all of that in Iraq. We could rename the country Ameri-storage.
*No France Allowed Club: Make Iraq a twenty-four hour, seven days a week party. All drinking and dancing and drag-racing through the sand all the time. France can’t come, though. They can just stand outside the border and watch us have fun.
I like the “What happens when you piss of America Museum.”
Put me down as a museum booster. Of course with a “NO FRENCH sign out front. Maybe we could open a branch of the museum in France. Just like Disneyworld and Disneyland.
make that
“Piss off America”
No, no, no. We MUST let the French visit. We need to show them what Paris could look like if they keep screwing around.
I think we ought to do what Montgomery Burns did on “The Simpsons”, and start drilling downwards at an angle, so we can steal the oil out from under Shoddy Arabia and Iran. (Kuwait can keep theirs, but only because they helped us.)
{/stupid humor}
Removing all of our troops in those countries and moving them to the (inevitable) Air Force Base, Army and Marine base, and Naval Station that we’re going to be building in the region (if only to ensure future Iraqi stability, like we did for Germany and Japan) will be a win-win. We’ll have a Rapid Response Force for both diplomatic leverage, and we’ll be pulling our troops away from Islam’s “Holy Sites” which is what the Islamists claim as the reason for them hating us. (Total BS, I know, but they’ll have to come up with a REAL reason now.
Just a thought. 🙂
Most excellent. Again. M
Hilarious. I called my wife over to read it and she loved it.
Keep ’em coming. You’re my comic relief for the rest of the news.
Plus, when we have the base there, it’ll be sovereign US territory. Then the troops can get their hands on beer, booze, pron, whatever. If you’re gonna fight for our country, you oughta be able to enjoy yourself like an American too.
Ah, this is why IMAO is a daily read for me now.
The situation is not funny anymore. I am afraid that the “Frank’s World” will be the only place where America remains powerful and actions of our enemies have consequences.
A note to Katharine: lighten up. If you’re serious about The Issues all the time, you’ll shrivel and become unpleasant. Frank performs an invaluable service to us all, God Bless ‘Im.
Frank: I like the idea of a nation-wide party. They could hire frat boys as consultants. I know of a few they could take off my hands. A note to Katharine: lighten up. If you’re serious about The Issues all the time, you’ll shrivel and become unpleasant. Frank performs an invaluable service to us all, God Bless ‘Im.
Frank: I like the idea of a nation-wide party. They could hire frat boys as consultants. I know of a few they could take off my hands. <:-P
I farted really loud when I read Kathy’s “post.”
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