So we’re back to Orange alert status – High alert status – as defined by the Office of Homeland Security. So far default has been Yellow – Elevated alert status. But there are two levels below that. When will we ever see those? I guess after Iraq is defeated and al Qaeda is permanently eliminated, we can drop down to Blue status – Guarded – but what is the lowest level, the Green level, for? Will we only reach that when we have some sort of utopian society where violence is a thing of the past?
“Alert status is now Green. Authorities say that you can go ahead and keep your doors unlocked, let your kids ride with strangers, and melt your guns down into tasteful jewelry. American intelligence agencies have been disbanded since we no longer have any enemies to watch, and police officers will now just work as taxi drivers. Stop worrying about anything and don’t pay any attention to anything out of the ordinary. Now go have a peachy day.”
If the alert ever goes to Green, I’m just going to assume it’s some terrorist trick to get us to drop our guard. Well I ain’t falling for it, Osama!
Fantastic.
Our traffic lights should have the same color scheme, from top to bottom; red, orange, yellow, blue, green. It would address some of the nuiances of traffic laws.
Red=stop.
Orange=stop, then look to see if it’s clear and go (sort of “right on red”–and no pesky “no turn on red” signs to look out for.)
Yellow=caution; the light’s about to turn red (or orange).
Blue=warns that the light will be turning yellow. This comes in reeeeeal handy on those wide main routes where everybody travels at 40mph–where when the lights turns yellow you gotta hit the brakes to slow from 40 to 0 in 3 seconds.
green=go! man, go!
Plus, seeing the color scheme everyday on the road will help us remember which color falls where on the terror alert scale, and that driving an SUV helps support the rebuilding of infrastructure in newly liberated former dictatorships.
Tuning Spork: I like your idea, but what about left-turn arrows? Would they just follow the same pattern as the regular lights? I’m confused.
Here’s another Rumsfeld and Shy Meyers press conference, some of the questions from the reporters make me long that this conference is ‘in your world’. I’m not a Luger man, myself, but I could see me pulling my old off-duty revolver.
Go to war you fags, or are you just going to sit in yer comfy American homes and salivate over the deaths of innocent civilians? You have been had By Bushco you dumb f***s, keep driving your your SUV’s and wasting as mush as possible. The USA is the new Nazi Germany you cowards. F*** you.
sinclair,
“salivate over the deaths of innocent civilians?”? You mushhead, if we salivate over anything it’s in awe (but not shock) of in how little danger any civilians are.
This is war to rid the world of a dangerous regime; a terrorist regime of global reach. When Iraqis are dancing in the streets they will put the Kuwaitis to shame! When the WMD are displayed you will probably say (while picking yer nose or scratching yer crotch) “well, just because he’s never had a weapon he hasn’t used in the past doesn’t mean he was gonna use these.” And upon hearing an Iraqi tell a carpetbaggin’ “human shield” that he would glady give his life to his country free, you’d probably dismiss him as being too consumed with the immediate reality of his miserable terror-ruled existence to have the time to consider the more higher and abstract concepts of agenda-laced anti-Americanism. And you’d be right, of course; which is proof that ye be lost in a maze of delusional idealism.
And as for yer oh so clever invoking the SUV canard; I think it’s great that Iraqi oil will be used to pay for the rebuilding of a former terror-ruled wasteland of an ex-dictatorship.
Motor on, m’boy! And then get bent.
Oh, and Minstrel; the left arrow would just follow the current model. hnyuk!
what streets will they be dancing in, since they’ve all been blown up in the pursuit of “liberation”(who is really the idealist here spork). I hope the next “ex-dictatorship” is the USA. The most complex maze of idealism is in the “right-wing” of the USA. I hope your precious SUV flips over, homo.
Aah, sinclair. ye make me laugh, ye make me cry, but Ye mainly make me wave good-bye.
“What streets will they be dancing in…”
Theirs
“The most complex maze of idealism is in the ‘right-wing’ of the USA”
(to you, I guess, the reason must be quite intimidating.)
“I hope your precious SUV flips over, homo.”
Wow, how’d you know? Silly savage, get away!! Takesth one to know one, I guessth.