We’ve heard of protestors killing themselves for their stupidity, one getting run over by a bulldozer and another falling off a bridge, but now here’s an example of blatant suicide by them: they’ve attacked Donald Rumsfeld’s home, trashing it’s grounds. Throwing oneself feet first into a woodchipper would be a less painful way of ending one’s life than pissing off Rumsfeld. It seems, though, that, as the protesters are being more and more forced to face how useless and idiotic they are, their actions will become more and more desperate. So what do we do with all these possibly dangerous idiots, or, at least, the ones that Rumsfeld doesn’t personally disembowel?
I say we have a plant start his own protest, billed to be the ultimate protest to end all protests (heh heh). Like a pied piper, he’ll whip them into a protesting frenzy, all of them shouting incoherent slogans until they forget all else. Then he’ll lead them to what’s supposed to be towards the Whitehouse, but, instead all the carefully placed “Protest March This Way” signs lead them off a cliff, plunging them all into the ocean like a bunch of lemmings, the cruel sea caring not for their cries of “No blood for oil!”
How will this affect the ocean life, you ask? Smelly hippies might pollute the water to some degree, but I never ate much fish anyway. Sounds like a foolproof plan to me.
I shudder to think how he will react in your world? Then again, I shudder to think how he will react in the world. How many strangled bodies will it take before those wacky protesters learn?
Can the girl who lives across the hall from me go with them? Pleeeeeeeze? She’s got “Why are we all acting like children?” written on her markerboard. I don’t think she quite understands that Saddam is a murdering, sadistic facist dictator who kills people for no good reason with some of the most heinous methods imaginable!
I just want to know why the Secret Service didn’t shoot the idiots.
1) No cliffs in D.C.
2) Must construct ramp and drowning pool.
3) Hire guys from movie effects business to construct false stone, trees, to avoid suspicion until final plunge.
4) Total cost: around $750,000.
Note to self…see about non-union guys for the set construction…
Oooh,oooh, can I be the plant? Pretty please? And I think I’ve got an even better plan (one that we could really do…) Get a whole bunch of them on a bus, tell them it’s an all expenses paid rally. Then drive out into the barest regions of the nevada desert, get their bewildered asses off of the bus, and then just drive away…
Colton,
Actually, Clint Eastwood did that maneuver (same concept, different victim) in his movie “The Eiger Sanction”. Since few lefties are Eastwood fans, I believe this can be done. Maybe we can get Evan Coyne Maloney to document it. Heh 🙂
Harvey
If need be, I will personally head out and set a flamethrower to those people.
You. do. not. f*ck. with. Rummy.
The property they trashed isn’t in DC, it’s in New Mexico. The place is lousy with buttes, which sound tailor-made for marching people off. Off of.
Apparently it’s also got coyotes, which would address the waste disposal.
We do. In fact about forty minutes from the area is the Puye Cliffs, which native Americans used as a convenient place from which to hurl annoying Europeans after they got tired of them in the Pueblo Revolt three hundred odd years ago.
Northern New Mexico: home of hippies surrounded by irritable gun owners. I suspect Rummy may not even have to personally deal with the issue.
Colton, your idea sounds a lot like Burning Man.
We could strap them to the hard points on B-52’s and drop them over Iraq. Unfortunately we could only drop them on areas where dumb ordinance is adequate.
Actually, Rock Creek Park in DC has ledges that would serve quite well as cliffs.
Plus, the DC police would take a long time to find any of the bodies.
Excellent blog!
Your In My World are quite funny, of course if you want MY suggestion for what to do with those people that messed with Rumsfeldts house… well you need a big pack of cheap lighters (100 for $29.99), a false beard, a very big American flag, a thick clothesline, two twenty gallon bottles of kerosene, a gallon bottle of Evian, a big towel, an emergency flare, and two “Death to America” T-shirts. Note if you won’t have some damned frog water touch the flag then you can substitute proper American bottled water instead…
For the rest you can read this piece:
Good Morning AmeriKKKa
A stern warning about what ought to happen to flag burners and people who write America with a K.
Of course it also requires that you don’t mind burning down a reasonably large area of grassland, and causing grievous bodily harm to dozens of idiotarians, the flag of course remains safe.
In addition you can also do what Wally and company does in this piece:
Bush and Blair are Bad Bastard Benzine Burglars!
Note that in this world the statement is made to mock those who actually believe it, in IMAO’s world it is actually true 🙂
I won’t go into too many details, but it involves driving a hummer full speed through Idiotarian roadblocks, and for reasons that you ought to read about then and there using their own banners to tie them to the hood.
Just some ideas and suggestions from me.
Frank J, your homosexual fantasies about Rumsfeld aer just too much. He’s the the most feared man in America wank wank ooo those hippies makeths him tho mad ** wank wank** …why are these right wing sites so full of gay porn?? I guess when your day job is a demanding fast food outlet, fantasy about your military dodging loverman(rummy) is all you’ve got.
swift,
You’re trolling has provoked and enraged me.
Grrr.
so enraged that you’re going to take to take it out on the anus of a random rent-boy? (note proper use of “you’re” ya f***in moron)
My dry retort has been shot down. My ego has been deflated.
What’s a rent-boy?
oh sorry, rent-boy is a gay prostitute in US terms. I’m sure you are very familiar with them. Why do you want your ass punished by your gay lover Rumsfeld again? so he can treat like a whore like all US citzens. You have all been cheated. I am sad for you.
Rent boy, whoring boy, bend boys, you boys that will take it up the ass for money, kinda like Swift, though I am sure he is more into wet stuff.
well, this conversation has gone on an unexpected tangent……
so V. Valberg another one admitting he knows n’ loves the man-ass, just like Bush. I certainly DO NOT f*** boy ass, but you all do, I know you do. Fags.
love of Bush, Rumsfeld, Powell et al = gay fantasy as far as I’m concerned. I bet you homos tape Ari’s briefings and wank to them. Not to mention your Ariel Sharon jerk-off fantasies. ya faggots.
http://blort.meepzorp.com/distressindex.html
Aaaaawwww, look at poo’ swiffer, totally in denial ain’t you? I mean all I said was that I was aware of the customs of the gay community!
That doesn’t offend you does it? I mean it is still the gay community right?
He he he, I should have known this, it’s so cute, poor swift a nice young boy a little in denial and he has a crush on Frank!
I mean here he comes and starts talking about these homo-erotic fantasies, going into great detail, think that comes out of nowhere? Hmmmm?
I mean you’d think that a straight man would be confident enough in his sexuality that he wouldn’t have to say things like “I certainly DO NOT f*** boy ass, but you all do, I know you do.”
He he he, methinks the lady doth protest too much! 😉
But don’t worry Swift, although Frank J is straight I am pretty sure that you will find someone.
Still this is so cute! It’s like grade school stuff, with Swiffer standing there like a star struck school girl longing for the arms of the quarterback (or Frank in this case).
I mean how else do you explain why he keeps imagining Frank together with strong alpha male types? Clearly our Swift is a bottom!
I think we should be supportive of Swift, he is a very brave boy who dares to stand out in what can be a very rough world!
Swift,
I’m as homophobic as the next guy, but you have to stop all this gay bashing. I had fostered a website of intelligent, incisive commentary that I felt was welcoming to all viewpoints and all walks of life, and now you’re trying to descend it into derivative name calling. For shame.
I am a female, hasn’t that been clear??.
I just feel a poofy vibe from you war lovers. Go enlist, and then I won’t have to come here and shame all you strong men.
Well I won’t feed the troll any further Frank J, and I apologise for the damage I may have caused your comment section. Sometimes the temptation to mess with peoples heads is too much.
..and by the way intelligent commentary of any kind does not include the words “smelly hippies” and making light those killed in opposition to Israel, or other over-blown “super-powers”.
OK I know I promised, but here goes:
Rachel Corrie didn’t get killed due to opposition to Israel, she got killed because she was too stupid too live. I mean seriously what WAS the girl thinking?
Then again I can see how she might be taken by surprise, I mean that think moves forward at a staggering five miles an hour! Goodness me! What could she possibly do?
To quote my blog:
“Now that we are back we have heard that for her courageous effort in rushing in front of a massive piece of heavy construction equipment with heavily limited visibility, and for valiantly trying to shout STOP STOP to the driver inside said large and very noisy machine, instead of getting out of the way of the evil hell machine trampling forward at an astonishing six miles an hour, Rachel Corrie may be honoured by the Darwin Awards an order named after that most eminent secularist, and which is awarded to those individuals who have best demonstrated his arguments in practise.”
Oh and since when did Israel become a superpower? I mean did some latter day Indiana Jones return the Ark of the Covenant to them? And if so why haven’t they melted Yasser Arafat by now?
Or is this the kind of super-power that is so overblown that it only exists in the minds of peace-activists? I mean peace activists of the Sergei Nilus school of critical research?
For that matter how can you be an overblown superpower? I mean isn’t the whole point of being a superpower that you’re kinda big enough to make it stick?
Or is this like the kind of superpower that is shared by France, Germany, and the Beta Beta Bitch sorioriety?
Inquiring minds want to know!
Oh and I said I wouldn’t feed the troll before I knew you were a woman, we were still at the gay bashing stuff (very unseemly by the way, tsk, tsk)
As for me joining the army or bowing my head in shame when I fill the tank of my car (I drive a VW by the way, some of us don’t feel the need to compensate) I am so fortunate that I am born completely and utterly without a sense of shame, at least as far as Idiotarians are concerned.
Valberg!!! loaded for bear!!! HOOWAH!!!!
I’ve got some people to stick in this march over the cliff. These protestors are so stupid. They promote peace yet are very…unpeaceful. Hypocrits and morons all of them. Most are young kids who have no jobs and are living in their parent’s basement who feel like they have something to prove. I pity them more than I hate them.
Great site btw.
PS: Err … swift? Rumsfeld was in the military. He was in the Navy … an aviator. Not talking out of your ass, are you?
As for the “gay vibe” BS? That’s such an old tactic, you should be ashamed that you lack the creativity to try something new …
Swift, this pro-war lesbian is going to kick your smelly hippie ass in a barfight if we ever meet.
This site is great! Finally, some halfway intelligent commentary on society today.
And guys.. Stop feeding the troll. Don’t you understand that she is just a lonely hippie who has realized that nobody cares about her opinions? Liberals hate it when you ignore them. If you pay attention to them, they get a marginal value of self-worth..
Keep up the great work.. I’ve become a regular reader of your website.. it’s wonderful.
Frank.
I’m shocked.
Send her over to me. I’ll make mincemeat of her.