The moment of truth has arrived at the U.N., as an informal Security Council meeting will finally decided the U.N.’s position on Iraq. If the U.N. votes for the military action, it will give further support to the U.S. war with Iraq. If the U.N. votes against attacking Iraq, it will lose its legitimacy and the U.N. building will be immediately bulldozed to the ground.
“Actions will soon be taken,” President Bush announced to the press, “This is our enemy’s final chance. After today, they can talk to the cruise missiles, and the cruise missiles are not good conversationalists. They are prone to constant interruptions, often brash in their language, and are poor listeners. Plus, they incinerate you.”
“Are you implying that there is a chance for Iraq to avoid war if they immediately disarm now?” asked a reporter.
“Hell, no – I promised the American people stolen Iraqi oil and that’s what they’re going to get. What I was talking about was France. France better start shaping up or America will rain its mighty wrath upon them.”
“You’re really angry enough about France’s behavior to attack them?”
“Yes we are. We renamed the french fries and french toast in the cafeteria to “freedom toast” and “freedom fries” since anything with “french” as part of the name will cause someone to vomit. We’ve also now made it part of all sporting events that, after our national anthem is played, a French flag is burned. Then a French tourist is publicly beaten.”
President Jaques Chirac appeared unintimidated. “Silly Americans, you cannot harm the great and mighty France,” he announced to the press, “We will veto your war and then America will crumble since it no longer has the support of the true powerhouse in this world: the U.N. Then Saddam and I will find Dick Cheney’s undisclosed location and defeat America from the inside. When America is gone, Saddam and I shall rule together, plunging the world into tyranny and rudeness.” Chirac then laughed evilly and effeminately until a squirrel ran by. Then he ducked behind his podium and started crying.
Bush’s speech tonight.
“The UN is full of a bunch of idjits. We started the war this afternoon and it’s over. Here’s Saddam’s head on a pike. Thanks Don.”
Those German squirrels can be vicious when cornered.
I have never seen a protest in America where anything other than an American flag was burned. Actually, I have never even heard of any flag anywhere being burned unless it was American. I think this French flag burning is a good idea, though. I hope it catches on.
I am addicted to hot dogs. Seriously.
“Actually, I have never even heard of any flag anywhere being burned unless it was American.”
You are forgetting Israel. Palestinians burn those Star of David flags all the time.
I’m eating a hot dog right now.
“Saddam and I shall rule together, plunging the world into tyranny and rudeness.”
Brilliant!!!!
I don’t recall anything but Israeli and/or American flags burning either; but I’m guessing someone in Northern Ireland must have torched up a Union Jack at some point.
I suppose that, unlike the anarcho-socialist tyranophiles who love to blame every desease, drought and meteor shower on the United States, those who understand the virtues of liberty, personal responsibility and the rule of law aren’t the kind of folk to go around committing public acts of arson—nor the kind to have contempt for a country’s flag even if they don’t respect the government of that country. Symbolic exhibitionism–like tyranny and rudeness–is a tool of those short on rational arguement, imao anyways.
Excellent proposal…I give my vote for the public french pause to vomit flag burning, as well as the….cringes beating. =)
Short and sweet. Perfect. I got dibs as the person who mindlessly beats the vomit tourist. Or, if some stupid liberal opposes the idea, we can just stab the tourist to death with their own freedom fries or possibly smother them with freedom toast. And then use the same form of punishment on the liberal and see if they like it, or whether they would prefer a savage beating.
Classic, Frank. Never EVER stop! =)
-Jeff
I saw photos of a couple of South Koreans burning a North Korean flag at a pro-US/anti-NoKo rally. That was fun.
Just when I think I can’t take any more, you lay on the punchline: President Jaques Chirac appeared unintimidated. “Silly Americans, you cannot harm the great and mighty France!” Keep up the good work.
Your ideas are true genius. I have another idea that shoudl work quite well. How about we send in a whole bunch of Israeli’s into France. They have a habit of just blowing up…….
Poem
To Leslie,
Tell my sister not to weep for me,
and sob with dropping head,
when the troops come home agian ,
with gold and gallant thread,
but look on them proudly,
with calm and steadfast eye, for her brother was a soldier too, and not afraid to die.
Caroline Elizabeth Norton
Solider of the Rhine
Visit http://www.SantiagoGaming.com and Play Counter Strike to whoop some terrorist ass!