Four armed North Korean jets intercepted one of our reconnaissance planes over the Sea of Japan. I know what you’re probably saying, “Hey, they shouldn’t do that! Let’s hit North Korea with a biological weapon, then saturation bomb them, then nuke them, and then shoot them with some sort of space-based laser.” That does seem like the natural response, but that’s not the diplomatic thing. Instead, the U.S. is going to file a formal protest with North Korea over the incident. But the question is, how to do you this to crazy people? If you just wrote Kim Jong Il a harshly worded letter, he’d probably just fold it into a hat and do a crazy little dance while wearing it. That’s why I have some better ideas for protest.
Maybe one reason North Korea keeps antagonizing us is that they don’t really understand what we’ll do to them if we get truly pissed. Thus, we should give them a visual aid. One idea is to bomb the crap out of France (yeah, I know, that’s my answer to everything). We have to go completely nuts on them. Then we tell North Korea, “See that? That’s what’s going to happen to you if you don’t shape up.”
Another idea is to try to communicate to them on their own level of crazy. We can drop a shipment of infected monkeys into the middle of his capital city. People hate infected monkeys. Then we can say, “Hey, you play nice or you get bitten by infected monkeys.”
Or perhaps we shouldn’t protest at all and instead teach them in a Pavlovian way that U.S. surveillance planes equals bad. What we do is fill one of them up with explosives and fly it by remote, then, as soon as their MiGs get near it to shadow it, BOOM!
Or we could just forget the whole thing. I never got our interest in North Korea anyway; there’s no oil to steal.
I like a combination of bombing France and dropping the infected monkeys.
[in a low, gutteral voice]
“Monkeys . . . “
How about dropping infested Frenchmen?
I say bomb the monkeys, then dump their radioactive carcasses on the NorKs AND the French.
How about “bombed” (drunk), radioactive, infected monkeys, wearing crazy little hats (berets), eating cheese and smoking little French cigarettes, while dancing to silly French songs? Kim won’t be able to resist. 😉
The last time they shot one down (NK 2 Navy 0) the Air Force flew an F-4 close under the wings of a C130 and hoped they’d come out to play.
Dropping cheese eating surrender monkies on the crazy gooks would be even better.
Frank has Rumsfeld been checking out your site lately? I think hes found a way of making a “polite formal protest”
I guess thats definitely ONE way of getting your point across 😉
Aorben,
I don’t know: nuking the whole place flat is one thing, but even the North Koreans don’t QUITE deserve the French.
I plan on buying an stash of armaments, and getting on a cruise to europe, and will kill the extremists until I lie dead on the street!
Amen, and LET US RALLY! My theory? We should forcibly re-instate the kings, and bump off parlimants of the world.The age of kings was badass, man! We should also promote the catholic church and reinstate the inquisitors. Under that law, there would be no heresy! That was the true peak of christianity, despite the horrors.
War Vet, that was the best comment I have ever seen posted on any blog site.
Maybe we could just give Kim Jong-Il’s private email address to “online craps”?