Archive of entries posted on 26th April 2003

Links of the Day

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Glenn Reynolds is trying to pretend that his traffic is down because of the war and not because of my filthy lies. Yeah, like the war has an effect on anything.
It seems I am going to marry the du Toits’ daughter. No one tells me anything.

Also, I just wanted to correct something on Mrs. du Toit’s blog. I only have the head of a monkey.

On the Fritz suggested that Michael Moore is a shaved Wookie. Accordingly, a Wookie responds to this insult.

Oh, and I’m going to link to the Sound and Fury because they got one of those things on the side that says who’s been linking to them and I like seeing my number go up. That’s right, I can do what I want!

New Links

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I haven’t had much of a philosophy to my blogroll. I just sort of add people randomly when it occurs to me. Then I was thinking, maybe I should be more careful about whom I add. This is really my visitors’ blogroll, because God knows I never read those people. So I should let you people decide who goes on the roll.
Well, first I have Right We Are. Let’s see… they’re a nice couple of ladies. I think I’ll just go ahead and add them.
But then we have Silent Running. Do these people run silently and then sneaks up on people and hit them with a cudgel. And why do they have a graphic that seems to express they don’t like people hugging Side-Show Bob? Side-Show Bob is a fellow Republican if you remember that one Simpsons episode with the Rush Limbaugh like guy.
I think you people should have a choice if this blog is added to my ever-expanding blogroll. So here is your vote:
POLL CLOSED: Results here.
Remember to first check the blog out before voting. The way to tell if a blog is good is to look for insightful commentary, witty humor, and plenty of links to me.

Filthy Lies Part II

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It’s Saturday, so once again it’s time to spread filthy lies about Glenn Reynolds!
By now, everyone knows how he likes to put puppies into blenders. He was so shaken by it, that he hit me with some sort of DoS attack on Monday. But look at his traffic since this scandal came out on April 19th; that looks down from the previous week to me. It’s working, but I think with another push soon he’ll only get like 3 visitors a week – fellow puppy blenders. So here is the new dirty, filthy lie:

I ran into Glenn Reynolds again the other day, and you can’t believe what he told me. First I just asked him, “Hey, Glenn Reynolds, how do you keep up such a great site, updating it all the time and finding all those links?”
“I only find the power through my deep faith,” he answered proudly.
“You’re a dedicated Christian?”
“No, I’m a Satanist!” he laughed, raising his arms into the air, “Thank you for my traffic, my dark lord!”
“You can’t worship Satan!” I exclaimed in shock. “Satan is a bad man!”
“You’re right; I can’t worship Satan… until I first murder a hobo in his evil name!” Glenn Reynolds then laughed even more evilly.
“But hobos are people, too!”
“As far as I’m concerned, the only reason hobos exist is for a murder’n,” he shot back angrily, “Now get out of my way; those hobos aren’t going to murder themselves!”
“You inhuman ghoul!” I shouted.
“Muh ha ha ha!” was his only response as he went to blend a puppy to give him the energy he needed to murder a hobo in worship of his dark lord Satan.

And here is really horrible photographic evidence proving what I just made up:

So, here is the new filthy lie to spread: Glenn Reynolds is a puppy blending, Satan worshipping hobo murderer. Make sure the press knows, because I want the first line of any story about blogs to be, “The most popular blog, Instapundit.com, is run by an evil man who blends puppies and murders hobos as part of a satanic ritual. That’s why more people are going to IMAO.us which is run by Frank J., a man who loves puppies, denounces Satan, and has never done anything worse to a hobo than give one a minor concussion.”
So spread the lie. I can’t wait to see his traffic drop like a rock now!
UPDATE: Michele of A Small Victory is sick and twisted too, but I think her readers already knew that.