Frank Idea for a Worldwide Holiday

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That was a great thing to see all those Iraqis celebrating when the statue of Saddam was torn down (though I could imagine Kofi Anan watching and thnking “This would never have happened if we allowed inspections to run their course!”). That’s exactly what I was hoping and praying for in this war. I admit, sometimes the news coverage got me worried that Iraqis wouldn’t be welcoming us in the end, but I’m glad to now see it. This was never about what Michael Moore or any other assclown thought about the war, it’s what the Iraqis thought about it, and they wanted this war. They wanted to be free. To me, that more important that the WMD stuff, because there are so many dictators out there just looking for a kill’n, and I don’t see why we can’t just do ’em all in. If the U.S. military wants to form a group where we just keep going from country to country, smiting evil, I’ll quit my cushy job and sign up for that one.
Of course, America is celebrated now in Iraq, but we know that won’t last forever. We’re big guys, though, and we do things ’cause their right, not because we’ll always be getting thank-yous. Still, maybe as a way to keep other countries appreciative of America there could be a worldwide “Thank America” day where all countries celebrate how much America has done for them. I even started making a song for it. I don’t know what the tune will be, but hopefully it can have some sort of techno beat.

THE PRAISE AMERICA SONG
I love America!
It’s there for you and me.
I love America!
So let’s all sing with glee.
Without America there’d be no peace,
And the sun would never shine.
We’d all live in caves
And roll around in the mud like swine.
I love America!
So I sing this song.
I love America!
They are right when I am wrong.
If America weren’t there,
Death would rule the day.
The oceans would run red with blood,
And that would be so gay.
I love America!
So I do a happy dance.
I love America!
But I hate France.

It’s just a start; any submissions for more verses would be appreciated. Remember, this is a song for non-Americans to sing to praise America.

39 Comments

  14. I love America!
    It picks me up when I am down.
    I love America!
    They make me smile instead of frown.
    Without America there’d be no freedom,
    And dictators would run our lives.
    We’d anguish in our grief and misery,
    While tyrants raped our wives.

    Reply to this comment

  15. I love America
    And poo on the Axis of Weasels
    One reason I love America
    They give us shots for the measles.
    -or- (and I prefer this one):
    I love America
    And f**k the Axis of Weasels
    The only thing I would love more than America
    Is to see Michael Moore get the sh*t kicked out of his fat-stupid-America-hatin’-Bush-bashin’-movie-makin’up-ASS by Vin Diesel.

    Reply to this comment

  16. Their President spreads life, liberty
    and happiness around the world
    mine spread torture, famine and stupidity
    the youngest one in curls
    I love America!
    let’s all dance and celebrate!
    yes I love love love America!
    gee, our old LaSalle ran great!

    Reply to this comment

  19. How about..
    I love America!
    They give us money in huge bales!
    I love America!
    Without them we’d be shouting Zeig Hail!
    I dunno.. maybe the bale part fits… I just wanted something to match with zeig hail..
    🙂

    Reply to this comment

  20. O.K., here’s my version..it’s a little x-rated but I just couldn’t help myself. You know what they say about a man in uniform:
    I love America
    The men in uniform are hot
    They make me wet when they shoot their guns
    Saddam and Mohammad, they’re not!
    I just cracked myself up!

    Reply to this comment

  22. I love America they never take but give.
    If we say we love America we’ll be allowed to live.
    Americans adore the truth, they never ever lie.
    If we try to kill Americans we surely all will die.

    Reply to this comment

  28. I love America
    their people all have guns
    they use them to protect us
    while frenchmen turn and run!
    I love America
    that red and white and blue,
    because good old America,
    Told Saddam “F*** you!”
    I love America
    because it isn’t France
    they bathe and shave and tell the truth
    and let women wear pants
    I love America
    because they pay me to
    without their huge donations
    we wouldn’t have no shoes!
    I love America
    I’ve loved it all my life
    The only problem with America,
    Is you can only have 1 wife
    I love America
    Where there’s freedom of the press
    to tell the lies of dictators
    who’s countries are a mess
    I love America
    and you’d better love it too,
    cuz if you don’t ill kick your ass
    like Rumsfeld told me to!

    Reply to this comment

  30. I love America.
    I love the Castro and WeHo.
    I’m free to be anything,
    Except a G.I. Joe!
    I love America.
    I don’t think she loves me.
    I pay taxes just like other folks,
    But I can’t marry another he.

    Reply to this comment

  31. ONLY AMERICANS WOULD MAKE UP LYRICS TO A SONG ABOUT WHY OTHER PEOPLE LOVE THEM.
    IF ONLY…(people love you that is)
    THE TRUTH IS:
    I love America
    The IMF and World Bank,
    Squalor, poverty, slave labour,
    Our little country now sucks, we sank
    THANK YOU SO MUCH, AMERICANS!!! WE LOVE YOU

    Reply to this comment

  32. I have a poem that could be re arranged to fit to your song,
    The American Dream
    The statue at New York harbour stands,
    That great celebration of treachery,
    The french harlot stares down at me,
    This is the bosom of humanity?
    A cry goes up among the mob,
    You’re stepping upon my liberty.
    A cry comes down from the stand,
    Give me death or give me treachery.
    The natives driven further back,
    All done in the name of freedom?
    The american dream is equal for all,
    But it’s definitely more equal for some.
    How can one nation be so thick,
    Ruled by a fake democracy,
    How can one nation be so sick,
    So full to the brim of hypocrisy.
    This can only be the ironic state,
    Something they don’t understand,
    The american dream, to rob and steal,
    Hope and dreams and oil and land.
    Give me your huddled masses,
    Yearning to breathe free,
    I’ll gladly stamp all over them,
    And steal from them with glee.

    Reply to this comment

  34. Of my f***ing god, only Americans could be so stupid\ignorent.
    Im sorry but you just dont seam to get the idea that NOT VERY MANY COUNTRIES LIKES YOU.
    here is a revised version of the song you wrote
    NOTE: don’t sing the stuff in the brackets. thats just side notes
    -I love America
    -Its there for you and me as long as it affects them in some way. (ex:ww2 pearl harbour was a few years after the war started)
    -I love America
    -They kill more of there own then the enemy (this is an overstatement but does hold true in some cases..ex: more coalition men were killed by friendly fire than by the taliban)
    -Without the fall of the USSR ther’d be no peace (because america and them would have nuked the f*** out of eachother and the world at some point)
    -and the sun would never shine (well yea, it would be blacked out from all the f***in nuclear fallout)
    -Canada would have the arrow (a revolutionary plane thats production was shut down because supposidally “hasnt been proved” america didn’t like the idea of not haveing the best stuff and forced the halt to the unfinished project)
    -And we would all roll around in the mud like swine. (yea the burning sensation from all the nukes will do that to ya)
    -I loath America
    -cuz rape with them isnt wrong.(when americans occupied (Hungary\holland i forget which) accusations of rape were ignored by american commanders with there excuse bieing “we liberated you, what more do you want”. durring the nazi occupation rape was very uncommom because nazi commanders would shoot a solidure in the center of town if 2 or more locals could identife that he was in fact the raper)
    -They are right and our opinions don’t matter because they have more guns than us (which is due to the fact that they stole axis scientists after the war and just continued ideas that the nazi’s had already started. try and prove me wrong)
    -If America weren’t there (who learned you english? If america “wasn’t” there)
    -Death wouldn’t rule the day (yes..and putting thousands of solidures into a fenced in area and letting them die of exposure and then putting more in is real f***ing humain. i can do without that)
    -Blacks wouldn’t be educated. (slavery brought them to america and BAM!!! 200 years later crime has skyrocketed)
    -the nazi’s would have killed them along with the gay’s (no….russia was the decideing factor in ww2 i just couldent think of a good way to end that line)
    -I love America
    -but a helping hand you’ll never pass
    -so bend over america
    -and kiss my f***ing ass
    there…. i hope i have motivated some person to reply with an angry responce to this, but hey freedom of speach is a right in america.

    Reply to this comment

  35. Hehe 🙂 No such luck, Mr. Nibbles. You didn’t anger me in the least! Your problem in understanding this post is thinking that we actually BELIEVE that other countries like us. We know most of them don’t! If they did, there would be no reason for us to sit around and make up songs about how cool we are and laugh that no one else gets it… because bringing up the fact that we’re loved WOULD be arrogant if it were true. Since it’s not, it’s fun to say, “Dude, they so don’t appreciate us at all. Wouldn’t it be awesome if there were a day that everyone celebrated how cool America is? Not that that’s ever gonna happen, cause they suck!” “Hehehe, rock on, man! America rules!” 🙂 I don’t know the people on this blog personally, but I really doubt they are rapists, white supremacists or murderers… I tend to think most of them are probably kinda like me. They’re folks who like their country and think other people are going a bit overboard in their criticism (and you can see their point from all the Nazi comparisons you critics use… come on, you’ve gotta admit, the comparison is absurd!), so they go a bit overboard in return. Cause it’s funny. And if you don’t find it funny, at least try to understand that for them, it’s in the spirit of fun.
    Oh, and one more thing, chickie, regarding the “who learned you english” line? Please, it seriously HURTS to see you say that, and then one line later use made-up spellings like “solidures” and “humain.” Unless you know the language, don’t criticize the way someone else uses it… it just makes you look like a fool. Well, I guess the intimations that Americans are worse than Nazis made you look like more of a fool, which is why I really can’t feel mad at you at all… you’re just really really nonthreatening… but come on. Even ridiculously overblown invective can be made to sound plausible if the spelling and grammar are good (as Cicero taught us so many centuries ago! :)). OK, that’s all from me! G’night! 🙂

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  36. Gotta love these hypocrite non-Americans! (That’s the way the world is you know, Americans, and ‘others’).
    Especially the Euros. Yes, for thousands of years the euros have been a model of peace and tolerance. coughchokegag
    We shouldn’t have spent our tax dollars bailing you foreigners out last century, then maybe you wouldn’t be so envious of our great and mighty power. Wait a minute, you probably would.
    Hahahaha!

    Reply to this comment

  37. Nibbles, I just need to do a quick fact-checking on your ass – the Arrow was cancelled because it was hideously expensive, not because the Americans opposed it. IIRC, the Americans, and several other nations, actually wanted to buy some of them(yes, Canada had better planes than the US for a couple years – it was the Arrow designers that formed the core of NASA in the early days, as well as a couple other big-name projects), but Diefenbaker decided it would be too embarassing to sell the plane but not use it, and between that and Avro firing all their employees in a gambit to re-start production, it got destroyed instead of produced. But it wasn’t the fault of the Americans.

    Reply to this comment

  38. America is where I really wanna live,
    for health care and welfare to me they will give!
    There we swam for many miles sharks snapping at our asses,
    Just to live the wealthy life of their lower classes!
    America is truely great for oh so many things,
    like sexy chics who make up many songs for me to sing!
    I love their cowboys and their indians too,
    How I adore the culture of both the Christian and the American Jew!
    There’s just one thing I don’t understand,
    so many different cultures in the very same land!
    I love the ones who talk low talk slow and don’t say much at all
    As much as the ones who run chattering from mall to mall!
    Oh America is a land of wonders indeed,
    where your worth is not based upon your color or creed!
    I could go on and on singing praises forever more,
    About these wonder peoples whom I adore!

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