After the high of the war and seeing our troops kick-ass as only Americans can thus showing the world once again why there is no badder mother fu–ker than the U.S. of A., you’re probably now feeling a bit down and under whelmed since the main fight is over. You’re stressed out with worry that it will be a long time until you see another war, and that you’re news coverage will be filled with fluff stories on rescuing kittens from drain pipes instead of more cool pictures of buildings exploding. Especially hard hit are our service men and women, who have to go back to their old lives of not killing evil people. My own brother, a Marine who didn’t get to participate in Operation Wacky Iraqi Attacky, is left wondering if he’ll ever get a chance to kill evil foreigners. All these down feelings are what is referred to as Post-Bellum depression.
Now, I took a number of Pysch classed while in college, so I feel qualified to give some solutions to alleviate Post-Bellum depression. I hope you find them helpful.
WAYS TO FIGHT POST-BELLUM DEPRESSION
* First off, remember that there is a lot of evil and oppression in the world and there always will be. That means there is always someone we’ll need to fight eventually.
* Playing first person shooter games online can be a way to get that feeling of war back… unless you suck at them because then you’ll just frustrate yourself more. Oh, and don’t be a gay camper; that just pisses me off.
* A trip to the zoo can take your mind off things, as it is both fun and educational. Plus, there are monkeys there; monkeys are funny.
* Eat a corndog. No one can be depressed if they have a corndog.
* Going to a firing range or going out into the desert to plink things is a great way to get the adrenaline running again. If you don’t have a firearm, then you’re a pussy; go buy a firearm.
* Drink heavily. Drinking heavily is the number one way to fight depression… or maybe it makes it worse. What the hell do I know.
* Commit suicide. A lot of people who are depressed commit suicide. It doesn’t seem like a good idea to me, but maybe those people know something I don’t.
* Fight ninjas. A good ninja fight is a great substitute for a war. Just watch out for those ninja throwing stars; sometimes they’re poisoned. Ouch!
* Take drugs. Drugs make you happy. Yay drugs.
* Beat up a hippy. There is never a reason not to beat up a hippy, so knock yourself out (that’s just an expression; it’s the hippy you’re actually supposed to knock out).
* Knit something. Knitting a scarf or a sweater is a great calming activity… Shut up! You’re the one’s that’s gay.
* Write a humorous list about something. Writing a humorous list is so much easier than trying to put together a coherent post about a single subject. It’s just coming up with the topic that’s a bitch.
Playing first person shooter games online can be a way to get that feeling of war back… unless you suck at them because then you’ll just frustrate yourself more. Oh, and don’t be a gay camper; that just pisses me off.
No doubt. I hate it when there are 20 smacktards in Battlefield1942 that camp out waiting for a plane or tank to spawn rather than going for the flag. The only thing I hate more than the smacktarded campers are the smacktarded team killers.
Better yet, beat up a hippie and then take HIS drugs!
It looks like Baghdad Bob took your advice.
” Drink heavily. Drinking heavily is the number one way to fight depression… or maybe it makes it worse. What the hell do I know.”
Of course it’ll cure your depression! That’s why they call it a depressant, duh. Because it’s used to stop depression, right?
You may call it a depressant, but I call it yummy.
First teh gay camper comment then the comment about knitting. That wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for the delight you express in enjoying corndogs. Are you trying to tell us something?
You are now banned from this site, LibertyBob.
Read my mind. Great post, yet again.
I’m gay and I love your site. I’m just trying to figure out if you have a problem with that or if you’d like to date me. Which is it?
No, I don’t have a problem with that and I don’t want to date you.
Man, can’t someone get away with a little childish homophobic humor these daye?
Of course you can! I just laughed my ass off at your latest Rumsfeld post.
Thanks, that makes me feel better. I don’t want to make anyone feel uncomfortable who reads my site… except for hippies and Communists.
Frank J. Camper
I’m one of 9 from Opt.Holleywood Sept. 1985
say hi to Mavis for me…
do not say hi to Jim or Pablo…….DA
I have been looking for years now….14 years
will you e-mail me please…..
Viva La Mort Viva La Recondo
Hey you testosterone-loaded video game jocks! It’s been years since people stopped shooting at me, and I am just now peeking my eye around the stump to see if anybody is still there! The VA is always down the road for me — what mental facility do you have access to?
You must earn the right to talk about it.
Semper Fi!
Spc.4 Channell <)
Frank….back from long stay in Southeast Asia and now in Russia. Thought I would say hi to you and Mavis.