Another great post for Easter: a new entry into my hate mail section. A little while back I wrote a song for non Americans to sing to praise America. I also asked for news suggestions for verses, and got a lot of great responses. But now I found this:
Je naim pas america
c’est tres coruptable
les anglais et americans
c’est merde? agree? OUI!
I had trouble translating it in babel fish, so I gave it to the official translator for IMAO, Mary Lou, who is much smarter and much prettier than babel fish. Ends up there was some misspellings, but here is what was probably meant to be said:
I do not like America
It is very corruptible
The English and Americans
Are sh*t. Agree? Yes?
Okay, first of all, there was no rhyming scheme. That’s just sad. And does the author, Jaques, mean to apply that France, with its oil and weapons contracts with Iraq and its businesses that couldn’t succeed without government funded espionage, is the pillar of honest government?
Well, I think France has the potential to be a very non-corruptible country, since radioactive dust accepts no bribes.
We should make up a verse for France. What rhymes with Cheese Weasels?
appeasals (var. of appeasements).
Je naim pas Francais
can’t trust the little cheese weasels
their culture is so passe
kinda like a case of the measels
they gobble up snails and frogs
when they’re not busy with surrender
now they’re defiling American ‘blogs
while drinking puppies from a blender
okay, okay, I’ll stop now
As much as I hate to admit it, there IS sort of an internal rhyme scheme going on:
pas-america, agree-oui, c’est-tres, and the 3rd line has a kind of fun sound. It’s pretty weak, though. The meter, for starters. And the “anglais et america(i)ns” are plural, but “c’est”is singular (and should merde be plural, too?). And it should be n’aim pas. Maybe this wasn’t written by a French person. In fact, I’ll bet it was a Canadian. The French are always making fun of their poor French- maybe it’s because they can’t spell.
Glenn Reynolds says he’s taking the weekend off and hasn’t checked his e-mail since friday. He’s still blissfully unaware that it’s all over the blogosphere that he drinks puppy puree!! I hope he finds out about at midnight just as he’s set to go to bed! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!
Wow, an illiterate Frenchman. I thought that despite ll of their annoying characteristics, at least they knew how to spell their own mother tongue. For instance, that should be “Je n’aime pas l’America.” Or if he really wants to be exact and not sweep the entire hemisphere into his diatribe (unless he has something against Canada and Paraguay too, which is possible), he should have said, “Je n’aime pas les États-Unis.”
Hey, that Lesucked!
This is old, tired, and stupid, but it keeps singing through my head (I forgot and slept in the the tinfoil hat).
I see Berlin, I see France
I see Chirac
tripping on his underpants