I’m confused; did we like win the war now? In the beginning we had this “Shock and Awe” and we were like, “Wow, this is going to be over quick!” but then resistance seemed higher than expected and we thought, “Man, I guess this will take months.” and then like a week later we’re in Saddam’s palace rifling through his DVD’s. Oh, and see that crater full of rubble? We think that’s him and his sons, Uday and Umbassday.
And now we think we found chemical weapons like we always said he had. We should make the French eat them. Also, Iraqis are cheering us on. I heard this touching story of how a six-year-old Iraqi girl handed an American soldier a card written on it, “Me love America. Protestors are dumb f__ks. I want stab them.” So, in the end, America is right about everything and stupid hippies are wrong about everything and smelly. This was like the best war ever; if there were Academy Awards for war, we’d like totally sweep them. Largest Explosions, Best Avoidance of Civilian Casualties, Best Costume Design, Best Rifle Accuracy, Best Special Effect, Best Use of Airstrikes in a Supporting Role – those would all be ours.
What I hope most people take out of this war, though, is the fact that if you piss off America, it doesn’t matter if the French are on your side or if hippies smell bad and wave signs, we will kill your ass. And we will steal your DVD’s.
I agree 100 percent. Also, after the war we definitely don’t want the French or Germans to benefit from any of this. We lost our blood, we should reap the rewards. Screw the French.
Re the dvd’s, “Black Hawk Down” was his favorite. One of the military “experts” on Fox said apparently the dumb mf thought the way to beat us was with pickups and rifles. Paraphrasing Schwartzkopf, “He’s not a soldier. He’s not a leader. He’s not a strategist. Other than that, he’s a great general.”
I call dibs on his copy of Wag the Dog…
I would like to print some of your stuff for my wife to read, but with all that black border surrounding your posts, I’m afraid the amount of ink lost in such a task would simply be too horrendous to contemplate.
Five Dollars?
You could always copy and paste it to notepad or word or something.
I think we should use his stock of Cuabn cigars to tie him to Cuba, thereby proving that Cuba has terrorist ties. We can invade them and just make them part of Florida. After all Florida already has more Cubans than Cuba!
How long before our soldiers start hawking Saddam’s stuff on eBay? I can’t wait.
I meant to mention that. I really wonder how much one of those Saddam posters they have hanging everywhere will go for on ebay.
isn’t ebay saddam’s less than impressive third son? he didn’t seem to inheret the psycho killer gene, so they keep him out of sight on a farm in Tikrit.
‘isn’t ebay saddam’s less than impressive third son’
No, that was Curley.
Saddam gave his sons their real, americanized names based on the US TV (Uday etc are nicknames).
Babay,
Babee,
Babickybi,
Bobo,
Bickybybobub,
Bickybybobu
Bobo (Curley) is the one on the farm you’re thinking of.
Bickybybobub (Bubba) lives in NY and blogs under the non de plume of South Bronx Bubba.
That should clarify things.
I read that General Antonio López de Santa Anna, the hated Mexican general who massacred them Texans at the Alamo was exiled from Mexico and spent the last years of his retired life in Long Island, New York. There he helped his neighbor invent chewing gum and died a rich, rich man. I just have this fear that if old Psycho Saddam isn’t BBQ’d in that hole, we’ll see him on “Xtra” in a few years, hosting lavish parties at his villa in FRANCE. Jacques Chirac will be there, of course, along with Martin Sheen, Tim Robbins and Barbra Streisand.
I also think best costume should go to those Brit Balck Watch fellows who just switched their helmuts for soft headgear in Basra.
Those tam’s they wear are sharp.
I give this war two thumbs up, but my inner Rummy is wondering if some of the follow-on units, like 1st infantry, will be crestfallen because they got there too late for the killing.
And then there are the Marines! Will this be enough? Oh well, I guess there’s Iran, North Korea, Syria, France, and Canada if the last-named keeps horking us off.
Yeah, those Brits are WAY badass. And how about calling their mission “Operation James” after JAMES FREAKIN’ BOND? Is that too cool, or what? Love the names of their units, too. Irish Panther Bonechrushers, 4th Dragoon Dagger Corp, whatever, they are stompin’ Saddam ass in style!
Children are so precious.
I just loved the picture of the Gurkha with his Kukri(sp). You see that picture and the stories about what the Gurkha’s are are pretty believable.
US Military personnel would not “steal” (ex?) President Hussein’s DVD’s, they would “liberate” them!(not that you can’t buy the same titles at your local “Wally World”[Wal-Mart] for about 10 bucks a shot.)
Gary, you forgot “Babbalu”.
And the poor ol’ 4 ID is all dressed up and no place to go. Dontcha just know they are pissed mightily about not getting in on all the shit hot action? What say we let ’em take on Syria as a consolation prize?
yeah..cool on syria..then we can do those damn apaches, and the navajo’s too..ohh and lets not forget those pesky lakota too right ??????
last test 🙂
Yeah, I’m glad major combat operations are over and Iraq is all peaceful and shit now.