I have a ton to do and am going to have a mini-vacation in Miami, so this will be the last you’ll hear from me until either Tuesday night or Wednesday. I’ll keep the poll on the favorite new character open until then, which has more implications than you may realize.
To keep yourselves entertained until then, make sure to check out my archives to see if there is any Frank J. goodness you missed. Plus, I assume every fan of this site has read my Nuke the Moon treatise, but I just wanted to mention it just in case. The Nuke the Moon t-shirt may be coming soon.
I guess you could also check out the other blogs on my blogroll, but God know I never do 🙂 Actually, Stephen Den Beste has an interesting discussion on blogrolls (and also links to me, reinforcing bad behavior in me since it seems that if I write something bad about a blog, they’ll link me). He makes his blogroll small and uses it to promote new blogs that needs traffic. I don’t agree with everything he says (I don’t think 90% of blogs out there are crap; just there aren’t as many out there that distinguish themselves enough to be daily views). So, here’s something to discuss amongst yourselves while I’m gone, should I be like Den Beste and just promote new and worthy blogs on my blogroll, should I make it an exclusive club like Bill Whittle’s site, or should I put about everyone on like the puppy blender.
Talking about promoting new blogs, I want to promote On the Fritz once again, which instantly became a daily read of mine. And I just finally noticed that the background of the banner is Pablo Picasso’s Guernica (yes, I just pointed that out to show how smart I am; I’m still trying to think of a way to casually mention my SAT scores in a post). I also like Inoperable Terran who is a great linker. Unlike Den Beste, I like linkers because I have the attention span of a monkey on crack.
Another way to entertain yourself while I’m gone is to poke this bunny (just don’t tell Anna; she might get belligerent). Also, you can join in on Jay Solo’s contest to come up with what IMAO means (I put in an entry).
I’ve gotten a little behind on e-mails, but if Eugene Volokh can respond to every e-mail, God knows I don’t have an excuse not to. So I will get back to you eventually if you took the time to write me.
Thanks to all you guys who read my site. I love writing this stuff and almost wish I didn’t have a well-paying 9 to 5 job to get in the way of it (actually, I work 7:45 to 5:30 usually; does anyone actually work 9 to 5?). See you guys later.
Archive of entries posted on 3rd May 2003
Filthy Lies III
It’s Saturday, so once again it’s time to spread filthy lies about Glenn Reynolds!
Now everyone know that not only does Glenn Reynolds puts puppies in blenders, but that he also worships Satan and murders hobos, and it looks to me like his traffic has declined once again. At this rate, he’ll have negative 20,000 unique visitors by the end of the year, but, to be on the safe side, here’s a new filthy lie:
So I was taking a walk through the park when suddenly I saw Glenn Reynolds talking to an Asian man. All I caught was the end of the conversation where the Asian man told Glenn Reynolds, “Thank you, comrade.”
“What was that about,” I asked Glenn Reynolds.
“I was just talking to someone from the Chinese government.”
“Getting inside information to do an expose on Chinese human rights abuses?” I inquired.
“Of course not,” he laughed, “I was giving him information. I had gotten my hands on some government secrets that I thought would help the Chinese fight our capitalist nation.”
“Why?” I exclaimed.
“Because I looooove Communism!” he said, pumping his fist in the air, “Down with liberty! Down with the free market system!”
“You pinko scum!” I yelled, “I’ll stop you!”
He answered me with mocking laughter. “Someone whose website gets as much traffic as mine can do whatever he wants. I’m untouchable! I’m Glenn Reynolds! Now I must celebrate.”
He then started doing the robot dance and singing this rap song:
“I’m Glenn Reynolds and it’s puppies I drink,
And I like to kill hobos because they stink.
Gotta give props to Satan ’cause he’s an evil guy;
It was through his help I became a Communist spy.”
Though I’ve heard better rapping, his robot dance was quite good. Finishing his grotesque celebration, he hopped on his moped and sped off laughing evilly all the way.
And here is yet more unconvincing photographic evidence of my blatant lie:
I also wanted to have an animated .gif of him doing the robot dance, but my photoshopping skills just aren’t that good.
Anyway, here is the new filthy lie to spread: Glenn Reynolds is a puppy blending, Satan Worshipping, hobo murdering, Communist spy who does a better than average robot dance. Now go out and spread the word, especially making sure the FBI knows. They’ll put out a report saying, “Make sure not to visit Glenn Reynolds’s site; he’s probably collecting information on you to give to the Chinese Communists. Instead, visit IMAO.us, which, if anything, makes Communists know even less than they did before after they’ve read it.”
Muh ha ha ha! Soon all the traffic in the blogosphere will be mine!
UPDATE: Fritz of On the Fritz made this animated .gif proving Glenn Reynolds dances the robot – or some similar dance – thus proving all the lies I’ve said.
