Even I have to admit this is one awesome t-shirt. At least Russel isn’t selling it in competition of my Nuke the Moon t-shirt. Did I mention I had a t-shirt for my site?
Courtney decided to make a 100 list just like Annika.
Remind me, did Bill Whittle used to write essays? It’s been so long I can’t remember.
Archive of entries posted on 26th June 2003
Frank Answers: American vs. Japanese Ninja, Soy Sauce, and The Shirt of Youth
Bill McCabe from Ridgewood, NJ writes:
Which are deadlier: American Ninjas or Japanese Ninjas? You see, the film “American Ninja” has the American beating the Japanese Ninja, while “Revenge of the Ninja” has the Japanese guy winning. I’m rather confused as to who is superior.
That’s a rather easy question to answer: Americans are superior at everything. While American ninja might not be as skilled as classically trained Chinese or Japanese ninjas, we still win anyways because America always wins. That’s because God likes us and dislikes other countries. We know that since we are the only country to get tornados; that’s God’s sign to us that we are all really cool… though some people interpret it differently.
Aaron from Canada writes:
Does Soy Sauce really kill bacteria? KIKKOMAN told me it did, but I’m not sure, eh.
Obviously a flash animation that well produced has to be right, so, yes, soy sauce does kill bacteria.
Is there anything soy can’t do? No, there is nothing it can’t do, which makes it a threat to us. Yes, it makes lots of healthy foods now, but soy could have more sinister plans in the future. Instead of a world taken over by apes, we could end up ruled by soy where they use meat from humans to make a non-vegetarian replacement to soy burgers.
I’m not saying destroy all soy; I’m just saying we should keep an eye on it.
Rustmeister from Smartsville, USA writes:
I just bought myself a Nuke the Moon t-shirt for my birthday. My question is: Will this t-shirt slow the aging process?
That’s a silly question; of course it will. It will also increase your vocabulary, give you limited x-ray vision, and let you go 48 hours without sleep with no ill effects.
Of course, there was no real reason for me to answer this question, because all knowledge would become known to you as soon as you put on the shirt.
BTW, those who have these wonderful shirts now, remember to get those pictures in for the Peace Gallery.
Please keep the questions coming, <a href=”mailto:THISISSPAMTHISISSPAMace you’re from, I’ll randomly select one.
Once Again Trying to Make All Us Other Bloggers Look Pathetic…
John Hawkins has his interview with Ann Coulter up. I’m working on getting a series of interviews ready for tomorrow. More details on that later.
A Frank Guide to Executive Orders
Richard Gephardt seems to have a little trouble understanding what an executive order can and cannot do, saying, “”When I’m president, we’ll do executive orders to overcome any wrong thing the Supreme Court does tomorrow or any other day.” So, to be helpful to any potential future president such as Dick Gephardt, here is a quick guide to the powers of presidential executive orders:
Executive orders CAN be used to enforce a Supreme Court decision.
Executive orders CANNOT strike down a Supreme Court decision.
Executive orders CAN order the bombing of a target.
Executive orders CANNOT alter the flow of time.
Executive orders CAN dispatch the military.
Executive orders CANNOT override the word of God.
Executive orders CAN be used to create new offices to execute the laws.
Executive orders CANNOT control the weather.
Executive orders CAN give someone a paper cut.
Executive orders CANNOT place a voodoo curse on someone.
Executive orders CAN be made into a paper airplane.
Executive orders CANNOT be folded more than seven times (try it).
Executive orders CAN be turned over and used as scratch paper.
Executive orders CANNOT make yourself bulletproof.
Executive orders CAN be rolled up and used as a pretend telescope.
Executive orders CANNOT be rolled up to use as a weapon to defeat Aquaman.
Executive orders CAN be used to wrap a fish.
Executive orders CANNOT be shredded up and used as a replacement for oregano.
Executive orders CAN be suitable for framing.
Executive orders CANNOT grant super-powers.
Executive orders CAN beat rock.
Executive orders CANNOT beat scissors.
I hope this was helpful to Gephardt and will make him more accurate in his future demagogic speeches.