Ahoy, me hearties. Today be International Talk Like a Pirate Day! Me only regret is that this is a non-work day for me, and thus I can’t vex the ‘ell out of me shipmates.
Arrrrr!
So grab yourself a cup a grog while I regale ye with much piratey-ness. First, some pirate jokes:
It was Halloween, and the first-graders all came into class wearing their costumes. One wee lad came dressed like a pirate [Ed. Note: Arrrrr!], and the schoolmarm sees him and asks jokingly, “So where are your buccaneers?”
And the wee lad answers, “Under me buck’n hat!”
Arrr! That was horrible! Here is an even worst one. Dare ye read it?
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel stuck down his pants. So the bartender asks, “Is that a steering wheel in your pants?”
And the pirate answers, “Arrr! Tis true. It’s driving me nuts!”
Now laugh before I run ye through with me cutlass!
Well, there be the only two pirate jokes I know. Anyway, here is what a pirate keyboard looks like. Arrr! If only I had one of those!
BTW, all comments today have to be in pirate talk or you’re walking the plank!
Today’s going to be a really easy day to hijack ships on the mighty waters with allo that pirate speak. Not near the east coast, of course, but other areas.
Aye and ahoy.
hln
Arrrrr!!! It’s so popular that the talklikeapirate.com site has been down for hours. Blast all ye bloggers and yer acursed linkages!
My daughters favorite joke: Why can’t kids go see pirate movies? Because they are rated “Arrr”!
Do ya scallywags know what a pirate’s 2nd favorite mode of transportation is?
A carrrrrgh.
Do you know his first?
A ship, idiot.
Walking the Plank
Arr! It’s National Talk Like a Pirate Day, me hearties! Here’s a Translator to help ye talk like a pirate, too. That scurvy son of a bilge rat Ethel has jokes that’ll make the saltiest sea-dog blush. Kevin’s sails are…
Arrr, arrr!
I have a message for the Illustrious Pirate King Frank J concerning this dastardly menace of the seas White Glenn. This morning he revealed himself as a supporter of another Dem candidate (this time it is Dean), but in his rotten lawyery hearts he is still harking for John Edwards.
Mark my word, lads, this men is a menace and unworthy of the Alliance, which he perversely joined to no good course, to be sure. He will end up voting for Hillary.
I think it is time for some fleet action; once we capture him we clap him in irons and then key hauling is the remedy.
Huzza! Onward my beauties! Pull like blazes! Attack! Attack!
Lady Executioner of the Rottweiler Empire
A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Hey, I haven’t seen you in a while. What happened, you look terrible!”
“What do you mean?” the pirate replies, “I’m fine.”
The bartender says, “But what about that wooden leg? You didn’t have that before.”
“Well,” says the pirate, “We were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball hit my leg but the surgeon fixed me up, and I’m fine, really.”
“Yeah,” says the bartender, “But what about that hook? Last time I saw you, you had both hands.”
“Well,” says the pirate, “We were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and my hand was cut off but the surgeon fixed me up with this hook, and I feel great, really.”
“Oh,” says the bartender, “What about that eye patch? Last time you were in here you had both eyes.”
“Well,” says the pirate, “One day when we were at sea, some birds were flying over the ship. I looked up, and one of them shat in my eye.”
“So?” replied the bartender, “what happened? You couldn’t have lost an eye just from some bird shit!”
“Well,” says the pirate, “I really wasn’t used to the hook yet.”
Arrr, them cutlass be pointy, don’t they..?(meaningless pirate talk).. arrr
Avast there me mateies!
Ye should not only talk like a pirate, ye should sing like ‘um too.
Join me, me buckos, in singing me favorate pirate sea shantys.