What’s this about a DoS attack against Hosting Matters? The Puppy Blender has finally changed the false quote about me to one claiming he was attacked by al Qaeda. Hey, my site went down too; how do you know they were targeting me? And why did they have to attack my defenseless blog instead of directly attacking me at home where I have my shotgun and handguns like I’ve always dreamed of? Then again, I don’t know what my deed restrictions say about having dead terrorists lying on the lawn.
Hey, America is not the only friend of Israel; the Marshall Islands and Micronesia also voted against a U.N. condemnation of Israel making it a 144-4 vote. Sure there are only about 160,000 people between those two countries, but it’s nice to know we’re not alone in this world. We have friends out there– thought they’re very small and hard to find on a map.
Rumsfeld is reportedly furious about the leak of the memo he wrote. He’s strangling and shooting everyone in sight. All he did was ask some tough questions, and now everyone is acting like he thinks the war is a failure. I mean, half the memo is just him discussing how he didn’t like the drape choices in the war room.
The partial-birth abortion ban has passed the Senate and Bush said he will sign it. I’m against this. If you can’t suck the brains out of baby’s head, what rights do we have left?
There is now a Centrist Coalition blog. I hate moderates… much more than even liberals. I bet Satan is a moderate; the best way to get evil accepted is to package it with some good. That’s what moderates do; they’re always like, “Oh! I’m so special because I don’t take a firm stance on issues, and I see value in everyone’s viewpoints.” I bet right now a moderate is reading this and partially agreeing with it. Damn you!
Frank I think you are confused about what a moderate is… Democrats want to suck the breains out of babies and make peace at any cost, and Republicans what to stop any abortion and kill terrorist by the bus load. so if you want to suck the brains from babies AND kill terrorist your a moderate(or maybe a phycotic). OR of you want to make peace at any cost and stop all abortion your a moderate(pinko commie ecofreak) see the diferance?
I oppose any ban on abortion because I think any mechanism that keeps most people from procreating is good. Look around you at the people with whom you work. Do you want all them having offspring? How about those morons on the freewqay this morning, should they be popping out pups?
The abortion argument has left out one of the sides for far too long. In addition to pro-choice and pro-life, there is also pro-abortion. I don’t think hippies should go around having choices about aborting. We should just stop them in their tracks.
Futurama is always applicable.
Neutral Official: “Your neutralness, it’s a beige alert.”
Neutral Leader: “If I don’t survive, tell my wife: Hello.”
“What makes a good man go neutral? Lust for gold? Power? Or were you just born with a heart full of neutrality?”
We put a lot of money into the Marshall Islands. There’s a huge Raytheon Plant there and as I recall it’s where the staging point for all the men and material for the bikini atol was. I don’t know why they don’t just try to become a state. They remind me of guam, who’s motto is something like ‘where america’s day begins’.
“All I know is my gut says Maybe”
Expect the new, improved post-leak Rumsfeld Strangler to make another appearance on “In My World,” his hatred and violent tendencies refined to a new level of purity.
Be sure to visit the beautiful Jennifer today and check back at her place tomorrow for her interview of me. There will be lots of alcohol, monkeys, and talk of Colin Powell. My favorite blogger, Frank J., has more bite
Argh! I visited that centrist site, and despite their “we are in between” attitude, only moonbat perspectives are reported. Very telling is the report about news in Iraq… “I’m a centrist, but only the bad news is right!”
Moonbats in camo = a bad thing
MODERATE is another word for coward. MODERATE defines the reason behind Italy’s flip flopping with regards to the NAZI problems of the 1940’s. MODERATE defines why we tollerate today’s NAZI(Liberal, gun hatting, elitist shit pigs).
However, I would take a moderate stance when it comes to thier punishment. Do we grind them into individualy wrapped meat pattys and feed the Palestinian poor? Do we make bars of soap from thier fat to clense the French? Do we make clothing and foot wear from their skin to cloth the naked masses of the “Third World”(dirty pegans)? Or do we brain wash them(which shouldn’t be hard, but may not stick)cultishly like the Christian Scientists, Mormons, or Jehovah’s Witnesses then lead them off a cliff so that they can die a moderately violent death?
Do you have white or red wine with MODERATES?
“Oh! I’m so special because I don’t take a firm stance on issues, and I see value in everyone’s viewpoints.” I bet right now a moderate is reading this and partially agreeing with it. Damn you!
Wow, awesome stuff Frank. Keep going.
Remember when you could go to Pizza Hut and get a small, medium or large pizza? Well now you can only get medium, large or extra large. So I asked the waitress, if medium is the smallest size, doesn’t that make large the medium? Then she put a medium sized booger in my salad.
Point being, you can call yourself a moderate, but I’m still smarter than you.
Eloquently spoken Alan. No matter what happens, no matter what people post, we conservatives can always rest in the fact that we are indeed much more intelligent than moderates.
The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. She sells sea shells at the sea shore. Kevin the Wiz had his six month blogiversary yesterday. Time flys when you’re posting 4 times a day or more. Yes, I spelled…
Personally, I ascribe to the thought that if someone gets pregnant and doesn’t want the baby, let them be inconvenienced for nine months and then give it up for adoption. There’s no point in killing something that someone would kill to have. Besides, with the right nurture, most people turn out okay. (For all you nature-vs-nurture folks, notice I said ‘most’. Some things are just hard-wired into a person, and some things aren’t.) Rock on in your wisdom, oh cute and loveable Frank!
C. Romansky,
Not coming right out and saying I’m your father and you’re my firstborn, but, as a member of the Clan of Polska, we have laid down the gauntlet regarding Mormons, and embrace them as brothers in the fight against all buttholes who would oppose US extreme right wing reactionary policy. Due to his operative status, Bloodthirsty Warmonger has been restrained from receiving, but graciously acknowledges, our gift of the Taliban Ear Necklace, and we have, therefore entered into covenant agreement to kill, mame, and destroy.
“If you can’t suck the brains out of baby’s head, what rights do we have left?”
Wow, that’s a powerful statement. I hope you don’t mind if I use that one Frank. I’ll give ya the credit, of course!
James Taranto has featured us on Best Of The Web. I suppose we should thank him, except this is how he puts it: ‘I Hate Moderates’ Cheers to blogger “Frank J.” for this delightful bon mot (ellipsis in original) There…
Dang wat ur you sposed to do with ’em?
I meen if you dont wan ’em in the furst place, yur sayin we kant stick the suckin pump ‘tween her legs t suck their liddle brains out.
Now yur sayin we kant furget to feed ’em neither. Heck wat’ll we du??
Sumbudy better du somtin
Well, I don’t hate moderates. Mercy gracious! That’s like hating syphilitics or lepers. Oh, it’s embarassing when the children stare, but you just have to tell the little buggers that moderates can’t help behaving the way they do any more than a slug can help leaving a slime trail.
I don’t hate Democrats, either: Tolerance requires us to acknowledge that anyone who sucks out babies’ brains and pimps for a rapist can’t be all bad. Of course, they — and the moderates — have revived the idea of Lebens Unverten Lebens that so ably served their spiritual forebears, and God alone knows what class of worthless lives they’ll seek to exterminate next.
But I don’t hate them. That would be wrong.
Satan is a moderate, at least according to MST3K:
[Joel] – I don’t mind telling you guys – The day this country went self-service was the day that Hell began to bubble up and flood the earth.
[Crow] – Well, I hate to burst your bubble, Joel, but, um, what about the bubonic plague? World war? Stalin?
[Joel] – Well, come on, those are all big things. You know, Hell works better when it’s a lot more subtle. Here, I’ll give you an example. Okay….
[Joel] – Crow, um, what do you think of Adolf Hitler?
[Crow] – Well, I hate him, naturally.
[Joel] – Right. Now, um, what do you think of the band Styx?
[Crow] – Well, you know, they had one or two decent…Oh my God, you’re right!
Frank I think you are confused about what a moderate is… Democrats want to suck the breains out of babies and make peace at any cost, and Republicans what to stop any abortion and kill terrorist by the bus load. so if you want to suck the brains from babies AND kill terrorist your a moderate(or maybe a phycotic). OR of you want to make peace at any cost and stop all abortion your a moderate(pinko commie ecofreak) see the diferance?
I oppose any ban on abortion because I think any mechanism that keeps most people from procreating is good. Look around you at the people with whom you work. Do you want all them having offspring? How about those morons on the freewqay this morning, should they be popping out pups?
The abortion argument has left out one of the sides for far too long. In addition to pro-choice and pro-life, there is also pro-abortion. I don’t think hippies should go around having choices about aborting. We should just stop them in their tracks.
Futurama is always applicable.
Neutral Official: “Your neutralness, it’s a beige alert.”
Neutral Leader: “If I don’t survive, tell my wife: Hello.”
“What makes a good man go neutral? Lust for gold? Power? Or were you just born with a heart full of neutrality?”
The only thing you find in the middle of the road is yellow stripes and road kill.
spork,
That was a great episode.
Something from the Book of Revalations about being neither cold nor hot, but lukewarm, and thus spat out, comes to mind 🙂
We put a lot of money into the Marshall Islands. There’s a huge Raytheon Plant there and as I recall it’s where the staging point for all the men and material for the bikini atol was. I don’t know why they don’t just try to become a state. They remind me of guam, who’s motto is something like ‘where america’s day begins’.
“All I know is my gut says Maybe”
You have a point there, Frank. Of course, I’m a moderate, and I tend to see a little bit of value and a great deal bs in both sides’ arguments.
Moderates. They stand for nothing and will fall for anything.
Expect the new, improved post-leak Rumsfeld Strangler to make another appearance on “In My World,” his hatred and violent tendencies refined to a new level of purity.
“There’s no greys, only white that’s got grubby. — Esmerelda Weatherwax, Carpe Jugulum, Terry Pratchett
Lunchtime Linkage
Be sure to visit the beautiful Jennifer today and check back at her place tomorrow for her interview of me. There will be lots of alcohol, monkeys, and talk of Colin Powell. My favorite blogger, Frank J., has more bite
Argh! I visited that centrist site, and despite their “we are in between” attitude, only moonbat perspectives are reported. Very telling is the report about news in Iraq… “I’m a centrist, but only the bad news is right!”
Moonbats in camo = a bad thing
MODERATE is another word for coward. MODERATE defines the reason behind Italy’s flip flopping with regards to the NAZI problems of the 1940’s. MODERATE defines why we tollerate today’s NAZI(Liberal, gun hatting, elitist shit pigs).
However, I would take a moderate stance when it comes to thier punishment. Do we grind them into individualy wrapped meat pattys and feed the Palestinian poor? Do we make bars of soap from thier fat to clense the French? Do we make clothing and foot wear from their skin to cloth the naked masses of the “Third World”(dirty pegans)? Or do we brain wash them(which shouldn’t be hard, but may not stick)cultishly like the Christian Scientists, Mormons, or Jehovah’s Witnesses then lead them off a cliff so that they can die a moderately violent death?
Do you have white or red wine with MODERATES?
“Oh! I’m so special because I don’t take a firm stance on issues, and I see value in everyone’s viewpoints.” I bet right now a moderate is reading this and partially agreeing with it. Damn you!
Wow, awesome stuff Frank. Keep going.
There is like this whole right-wing conspiracy to keep people alive, What’s the world coming to?
Remember when you could go to Pizza Hut and get a small, medium or large pizza? Well now you can only get medium, large or extra large. So I asked the waitress, if medium is the smallest size, doesn’t that make large the medium? Then she put a medium sized booger in my salad.
Point being, you can call yourself a moderate, but I’m still smarter than you.
Eloquently spoken Alan. No matter what happens, no matter what people post, we conservatives can always rest in the fact that we are indeed much more intelligent than moderates.
Not worth bothering about except for Kevin
The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. She sells sea shells at the sea shore. Kevin the Wiz had his six month blogiversary yesterday. Time flys when you’re posting 4 times a day or more. Yes, I spelled…
Personally, I ascribe to the thought that if someone gets pregnant and doesn’t want the baby, let them be inconvenienced for nine months and then give it up for adoption. There’s no point in killing something that someone would kill to have. Besides, with the right nurture, most people turn out okay. (For all you nature-vs-nurture folks, notice I said ‘most’. Some things are just hard-wired into a person, and some things aren’t.) Rock on in your wisdom, oh cute and loveable Frank!
C. Romansky,
Not coming right out and saying I’m your father and you’re my firstborn, but, as a member of the Clan of Polska, we have laid down the gauntlet regarding Mormons, and embrace them as brothers in the fight against all buttholes who would oppose US extreme right wing reactionary policy. Due to his operative status, Bloodthirsty Warmonger has been restrained from receiving, but graciously acknowledges, our gift of the Taliban Ear Necklace, and we have, therefore entered into covenant agreement to kill, mame, and destroy.
Tour de Blog
“If you can’t suck the brains out of baby’s head, what rights do we have left?”
Wow, that’s a powerful statement. I hope you don’t mind if I use that one Frank. I’ll give ya the credit, of course!
Hey Frank. Congrats on your Best of the Web link. You’ve made the big time (not meaning to imply that you weren’t big time before, though).
Congratulations at making Best of the Web Today!
Didn’t even know about your site until I read about it in Taranto’s daily blog.
Very entertaining satire, yours!
We Love Moderates
James Taranto has featured us on Best Of The Web. I suppose we should thank him, except this is how he puts it: ‘I Hate Moderates’ Cheers to blogger “Frank J.” for this delightful bon mot (ellipsis in original) There…
Bet you’ve really got the big head after being quoted by Taranto!
Hey Carzzi, wait’ll you find out about our hazing rituals for newbies 🙂
I AM THE GREATEST BLOGGER EVER!!!!
Dang wat ur you sposed to do with ’em?
I meen if you dont wan ’em in the furst place, yur sayin we kant stick the suckin pump ‘tween her legs t suck their liddle brains out.
Now yur sayin we kant furget to feed ’em neither. Heck wat’ll we du??
Sumbudy better du somtin
Cool site. Also heard about you from Taranto today. I read the Nuke the Moon idea…if only…Great work. Adding you to my favorites for sure.
Well, I don’t hate moderates. Mercy gracious! That’s like hating syphilitics or lepers. Oh, it’s embarassing when the children stare, but you just have to tell the little buggers that moderates can’t help behaving the way they do any more than a slug can help leaving a slime trail.
I don’t hate Democrats, either: Tolerance requires us to acknowledge that anyone who sucks out babies’ brains and pimps for a rapist can’t be all bad. Of course, they — and the moderates — have revived the idea of Lebens Unverten Lebens that so ably served their spiritual forebears, and God alone knows what class of worthless lives they’ll seek to exterminate next.
But I don’t hate them. That would be wrong.
Moderates=Squishes
Frank J on moderates: There is now a Centrist Coalition blog. I hate moderates… much more than even liberals. I
Another congrats on your BOTW appearance. May many more follow – if not a real paying gig.
Satan is a moderate, at least according to MST3K:
[Joel] – I don’t mind telling you guys – The day this country went self-service was the day that Hell began to bubble up and flood the earth.
[Crow] – Well, I hate to burst your bubble, Joel, but, um, what about the bubonic plague? World war? Stalin?
[Joel] – Well, come on, those are all big things. You know, Hell works better when it’s a lot more subtle. Here, I’ll give you an example. Okay….
[Joel] – Crow, um, what do you think of Adolf Hitler?
[Crow] – Well, I hate him, naturally.
[Joel] – Right. Now, um, what do you think of the band Styx?
[Crow] – Well, you know, they had one or two decent…Oh my God, you’re right!
Moderates have two hobbies:
1) Calling everyone else “extremists” and;
2) Calling everyone else “fanatics”.