Maybe I should start having a pool about how many e-mails (here is one and two for those joining us late) it takes until Tony Pentin gets a clue. I’m hoping a lot, because this stuff writes itself.
Anyhoo, once again vulgar nouns are replaced with “ronin”, f’ing with “hippy-dippy”, the s-word with “linguini”, piss-off with “have a nice day”, and the f-word with “I challenge”. All for The Children™. Enjoy:

I’d already sent this email when I thought I’d better send it again with the red background to symbolise socialism. I bet you hate this! [Ed. Note: Sorry I couldn’t do the red background of his e-mail for you. Just use your imagination.]
Well, I see you haven’t changed in the last three days since you wrote your latest drivel! And neither has your countries stupid interventionalist foreign policy as you storm into Haiti like a bunch of macho bastards. What most surprises me is that Bush hasn’t supported that fascist Aristide! And you self-gratifying bastards are only going there to protect your precious embassy!
You’re a sick ronin! I was hoping the poor would invade Hollywood at the awards last night and make a speech!
Everything’s bombing with you! If you’re not on about bombing then you’re on about bombing! Change the hippy-dippy tune! You sound like the backwoodsman rural hick that you are!
So it took you two emails to work out who Rage Against the Machine were? They were only one of the biggest bands in the world in the 90’s you dumb ronin!
And what’s this drivel about France should not be allowed their own foreign policy no matter what China says? I’m not from China so you’ve just lost your own argument you silly little boy! I’m not a communist – who was that who condemned North Korea in the last email? That was me! And your attitude is the reason why everybody hates your country – you’re a bunch of self-important lying ronins that contradict yourselves!
Have a nice day redneck!
Remember what I was saying about American greed? Have a look at the lyrics to the brilliant parody by Rage Against the Machine for “Sleep Now in the Fire” which was done in 1999 as a warning that the linguini was gonna hit the fan if that ronin Bush was elected. It’s a parody of that redneck murdering ronin known as Bush. Do you know what a parody is? It’s when somebody imitates somebody else. Just thought I’d point that out.
Look at when Rage condemn the lack of democracy in your country with the brilliant lines “there is no other pill to take, so swallow the one that makes you ill”. Very true. I mean there’s many parties in America – the socialist parties and the environmental parties with people running for president but it’s either the democrats or the republicans for everybody – as if nobody else exists.
Outstanding lines from THE LEFT.
www.musicfanclubs.org/rage/lyrics/sleep.htm
I CHALLENGE YOU YOU RONIN!

What can I possibly say to that…

Hey! It’s Limey! Nice to hear from you. How are the folks? How is London? I thought I heard that it’s being bombed by Germany again, but I might have just accidentally turned on the History Channel instead of Fox News.
The red background is pretty neat, but you need to use a lighter text color against it for better readability. Some reason I’m thinking yellow; I don’t know why.
No, I haven’t changed in past three days. The doctor said the meds will take at least two weeks before my body gets used to them, and then the voices should be more quiet. Thanks for caring, though, limey.
You’re right about us liking to protect our embassies, limey. That’s where we keep our gold and diamonds we still from the indigenous people. As soon as that is secured, we’ll get out of there and leave the people to fester in their misery just as you want, so don’t worry, limey. No more being all macho for us.
No, the poor didn’t invade Hollywood; we keep them too starving to have energy for riots. That’s called strategery. Lord of the Rings won best picture though, and it was a great film about killing evil people… just like America does! And it was filmed in New Zealand (what happened to the old Zealand?) which I think is near where you live, limey. I don’t look at maps much, though, because they’re just full of other countries which don’t serve much purpose to us.
I didn’t mean to imply that an upstanding, red socialist like you might have anything to do with Communsim, limey. I was just saying I don’t care about China’s opinion the same as I don’t care about the evil, genocidal French. I think we’ll have war with them next; won’t that be fun! I wonder if we can make the Eiffel Tower fall on something. They just better film it, or the war will be for nothing. Does France have much oil, BTW?
And you don’t like rednecks? I thought you liked red, limey?
Thanks for telling what a parody is, limey my friend. I’ve heard all about those and they sound fun. Maybe I’ll try one of these days. Will you tell what you think about it? I always wanted the opinion of a limey.
Wow! Those lyrics are cool and symbolic. They’re almost as good as the lyrics from Toby Keith’s (was he in Angry at the Machine before they broke up?) “Courtesy of the Red White and Blue”. Look at this line:
“And you’ll be sorry that you messed with
The U.S. of A.
‘Cause we’ll put a boot in your ass
It’s the American way”
It’s symbolic, because we’re not actually putting any boots up any one’s ass, but instead are going to bomb the crap out of them and shoot them with bullets (though some of our enemies may get pegged with tracer rounds; won’t that be funny). Here’s the rest of it with more symbolism just like the Machine Ragers.
http://www.werismyki.com/writings/angry_american.html
I hope you enjoy.
Cordially,
Stupiud Bastrad
http://imao.us
P.S. Another thing with great symbolism is the poem the Jabberwocky.
http://www.jabberwocky.com/carroll/jabber/jabberwocky.html
“Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.”
I think if you look at it carefully, it’s a commentary about how unfair our social class system is and that the oppression of the poor can’t go on forever. Or, maybe I’m just reading it all wrong and it’s actually about how small your penis is.
Wanker.

I bet every blogger wants their own pet limey now.