There are now two competing fan clubs (one two), and I think we should have a system so people can sign up (and then pad those signing up with dead people from Chicago). Then, I’ll send a taunting letter to Jonah about how I have a much better fans. Next, I’ll complete my column, and you can all help lobby NRO to print it. Then, we can have fan club party! Hooray!
Oh, and I just want to again remind my readers that I love each and every one of you. Have a great weekend, y’all.

I don’t know about these 9/11 hearings. I’m too suspicious of it becoming a partisan way to assign blame, and I don’t know what good is supposed to come of it. I mean, after the hearings are over, are we all going to slap our heads and go, “So that’s what we should have done!”? I say let’s focus on killing terrorists in the here in now.
Still, I thought I’d sift through the news and find some points of interest from the hearings.
THE TOP TEN POINTS OF INTEREST FROM THE 9/11 HEARINGS
10. Every time Richard Clarke was asked a question, he’d give a short answer and then face the camera and say, “But you’ll have to buy my book to get the full story.”
9. It was determined that the only way to stop terrorism is to do something about it.
8. While terrorism is now a big focus of the government, they are still ignoring the looming ninja threat.
7. There a lot of blame for 9/11 to go around, but the Clinton administration is hogging it all.
6. Senator Bob Kerrey got angry at Fox News for publishing statements by Richard Clarke. Think of that: a news organization publishing stuff that people said.
5. Condoleezza Rice wants a closed door session to respond, possibly so she can extract violent revenge in secret.
4. Heh heh. The former National Security Advisor’s name is “Sam Berger”. Does he have brother named “Cheese”?
3. Richard Clarke is adamant that, if we only were able to find out about the 9/11 plot and arrest everyone involved, we might have been able to prevent it.
2. Clinton’s search for Osama was far behind his search for poontang.
And the number one point of interest from the 9/11 Hearings…
The threat of terrorists trying their hardest to kill us all can actually be a boring topic when discussed in a committee.