Bush Go Up: Yay! Bush is gaining in the polls since people have started to learn that John Kerry sucks. This was inevitable as more people would hear Kerry talk. His haughty frenchness causes people to retch and vote Republican.
The CW is that this is going to be a close election, but I want a blow out. Then I’m going to Democratic Underground and imagine everyone’s heads exploding.
Ketchup on Our Hands: A reader Adam suggest boycotting Heinz to fight the John Kerry machine. That’s a tough call. Heinz is the ketchup, and I went to college in Pittsburgh where Heinz is one of the last industries there since the steel left. Still, each time we put that blood-like condiment on our burgers, we could be putting money into the hands of Kerry’s wife which might then be taken by John Kerry himself. Is moving to catsup the only option to stop John Kerry and his evil plans of evil? And what about French’s mustard? Will that be taken as implicit support of Kerry?
Politics is hard. I’m going to stick to eating jellybeans to show my support of Reagan.
UPDATE: The Heinz company denies involvement with John Kerry.
Explosions… Again: James Bond foiled a terrorist plot and found tons of explosives in the UK. Stupid terrorists; don’t they have any terror ideas that don’t involve explosions? Like, they could secretly put potholes in our roads at night.
“You will continue to see potholes infidels, unless you surrender to Islam and throw all your Jews into the sea… except for that Seinfeld guy; he makes us laugh.”
Testify!: Senators are still demanding for Condoleezza Rice to openly testify for the 9/11 hearings. I bet this is all strategery on her part to hype her testimony for when she finally gives in. Then her testimony will be so testacular that it will blow everyone away. And Richard Clarke will commit seppuku in disgrace while everyone turns against the Clinton administration and lynches them all.
Or, at least, that’s my political prediction. Everyone has their own.
UPDATE: My prediciton is coming true so far…
You Got Me I: A lot of you e-mailed me about Clinton’s ninja plan for terrorism, and, okay, you got me. I was a foreign policy advisor for the Clinton administration. You happy now? None of my ideas were ever used though, not even the preemptive strike against monkeys.
The Loser Club: At Jonah “Lame-o” Goldberg’s Fan Club, Eric is taunting me because he thinks he can win Derbyshire’s support with a silly t-shirt. Bah! I’m now linked at Derbyshire’s homepage. Not even Jonah can say that. He’s going down!
Logo Idea: For my fans (the smarter, cooler, more attractive fans) to discuss, I was thinking of making this the logo of IMAO:
What do y’all think?
You Got Me II: Fine. You got me again. I have a secret lab in Japan. And no, I won’t tell you what goes on there.
Bushido: A man in the U.K. was sentenced to prison for stabbing an armed attacker to death with a samurai sword (what the story leaves out is that the guy with the sword is a drug dealer and stabbed the man in the back). Sometimes I almost wish guns were banned just so I would have to rely on a katana as defense. Right now, it just ain’t practical for me when I have the shotgun and handguns in easy reach. Such is modern life.
Monkey News II: Solution to monkey problem: don’t insulate your electrical wires. Then, as they jump from tree to tree, God will take care of them. God’s cool.
Victory Is Mine!:Instapundit now correctly links to IMAO again. That reminds me: I haven’t been doing much with The Alliance as of late. I still plan on turning them into a giant media conglomerate to rival all others, but I’ll need to delegate more.
More Coming: Big posting tomorrow as I’ll have a new In My World™ plus the new The Limey letter and response (as long as I get it all done before the return of 24 tonight). Also, I’ll have a few more posts today when I have time. Later, mo’fo’s.
w00t! Thanks for reminding me that 24 returns tonight. Will everyone in the Hotel die? Will Jack Bauer get in trouble for shooting Nina? Will CTU stop the terrorists? Will Kim finally rip open her blouse and declare her unending devotion to me?
I wouldn’t worry about the Heinz thing. Ifigure that Kerry is enough of a bitch that his wife probably doesn’t play nice with him. He will be too busy campaigning to do the monkey tricks required to get money from the wife.
Just read over at Snopes.com that Kerry’s wife owns less than 4% of Heinz Corp. That means you can enjoy your ketchup all you want.
Check out: http://www.snopes.com/politics/kerry/heinz.asp
for the details!
oh, good, libertybob. as long as i leave 4% of the ketchup on my plate, i’m not helping kerry.
“Is moving to catsup the only option”
priceless, frank. i love smart humor.
“And what about French’s mustard? Will that be taken as implicit support of Kerry?”
just to be sure, i’m buying store brands.
Cynic,
Sorry. I meant it as a term of endearment (I try to save foo’ for my brother Joe foo’ the Marine – who still needs to e-mail me his g’damn nuke the moon pictures and wedding photos. Maybe I should give out his e-mail so you can all nag him too).
French’s Mustard has been very adamant about the fact that their mustard has nothig to do with phrance. They went so far as to issue press statements relating to this.
And yes, I know the one with the comment “The only thing we have in common is that we are both yellow” is a fake one. Too bad, it’s funny and true.
Frank, you’ve already delgated 100% of the Alliance to me & Susie. You’re going to have to work pretty hard to do more. Maybe you could just delegate the delegating to us 😉
Bushido — I dunno, there’s a lot to say about a nice hand-and-a-half as a house piece. It’s stylish as hell, it’s quiet and respectful of the neighbors’ privacy, not many liability issues (“I was cleaning my sword and it went off by mistake, your honor…”?), it’s handy in the kitchen…
Posh! A pity link if there ever was one. Note that Derb describes his interview with you as “light-hearted”, a British euphemism for “gay”. And Derb HATES the gays.
Mo’fo’ as a “term of endearment?” When you go to Mass on Sunday, do you tell your beloved priest “Good morning Father Mo’fo'”? I don’t think so. Maybe you should call your loyal followers something like “mo’bots” or “mo’maos”. Nah, that’s getting to close to “mo’rons” and we won’t like that. You’re going to have to come up with something else Frank!
You can call me “mo fo” Frank. Just make sure it is in the form of a sentence. As in, “Hey Mo Fo, it’s time for dinner.” And it better not be Phrench Phries. (I knew this Atkins diet would be good for something besides eating my shoe.)
Just heard, Condi’s gonna testify and John Kerry had a boob job.
Face it Frank. We know that you conduct sadistic experiments on monkeys in the secret lab to see if there is a gene linked to liberals. Once found, you will genetically alter their DNA and wipe them off the face of this earth.
Care for donation for your research?
Supported Higher Gas Taxes As Lieutenant Governor
Dukakis/Kerry Administration Supported Higher Gas Taxes. “The Massachusetts Legislature – passed and sent to Gov. Michael S. Dukakis a gasoline tax bill that establishes an 11-cent-a-gallon floor, which means an increase of 1.1 cents a gallon over the current tax. – It was seen as a victory for the Dukakis administration – The administration, in one of the heaviest lobbying efforts in recent years, pushed for the – floor when wholesale prices began dropping sharply because of a world oil glut.” (Andrew Blake, “Mass. Legislature OK’s Bill Putting Floor Under Gas Tax,” The Boston Globe, 3/30/83)
-hey until i got into business i wasn’t really paying attention but Kerry is more than a moron he is bad news and i am getting active i don’t want him in office and i will do anything to educate anyone…i love this site Frank been reading it for a month..is there anything i can do to help?
I like the new logo.
I also POOP MY PANTS!
Hey- what happened to karl, and Extreme and all those other limey losers? I thought they were hanging around here so they could be first??
w00t! Thanks for reminding me that 24 returns tonight. Will everyone in the Hotel die? Will Jack Bauer get in trouble for shooting Nina? Will CTU stop the terrorists? Will Kim finally rip open her blouse and declare her unending devotion to me?
Um, it’s ok to eat Heinz ketchup. Kerry’s wife sold her share of the business years ago. Or so I’ve read.
I wouldn’t worry about the Heinz thing. Ifigure that Kerry is enough of a bitch that his wife probably doesn’t play nice with him. He will be too busy campaigning to do the monkey tricks required to get money from the wife.
Just read over at Snopes.com that Kerry’s wife owns less than 4% of Heinz Corp. That means you can enjoy your ketchup all you want.
Check out:
http://www.snopes.com/politics/kerry/heinz.asp
for the details!
oh, good, libertybob. as long as i leave 4% of the ketchup on my plate, i’m not helping kerry.
“Is moving to catsup the only option”
priceless, frank. i love smart humor.
“And what about French’s mustard? Will that be taken as implicit support of Kerry?”
just to be sure, i’m buying store brands.
Don’t call me a mo’fo’, Frank. You are sexy beyond belief, but I have delicate sensibilities.
Or will Condi’s testimony be testicular (as in ballsy)?
Cynic,
Sorry. I meant it as a term of endearment (I try to save foo’ for my brother Joe foo’ the Marine – who still needs to e-mail me his g’damn nuke the moon pictures and wedding photos. Maybe I should give out his e-mail so you can all nag him too).
French’s Mustard has been very adamant about the fact that their mustard has nothig to do with phrance. They went so far as to issue press statements relating to this.
And yes, I know the one with the comment “The only thing we have in common is that we are both yellow” is a fake one. Too bad, it’s funny and true.
Frank, you’ve already delgated 100% of the Alliance to me & Susie. You’re going to have to work pretty hard to do more. Maybe you could just delegate the delegating to us 😉
Bushido — I dunno, there’s a lot to say about a nice hand-and-a-half as a house piece. It’s stylish as hell, it’s quiet and respectful of the neighbors’ privacy, not many liability issues (“I was cleaning my sword and it went off by mistake, your honor…”?), it’s handy in the kitchen…
Posh! A pity link if there ever was one. Note that Derb describes his interview with you as “light-hearted”, a British euphemism for “gay”. And Derb HATES the gays.
Mo’fo’ as a “term of endearment?” When you go to Mass on Sunday, do you tell your beloved priest “Good morning Father Mo’fo'”? I don’t think so. Maybe you should call your loyal followers something like “mo’bots” or “mo’maos”. Nah, that’s getting to close to “mo’rons” and we won’t like that. You’re going to have to come up with something else Frank!
You can call me “mo fo” Frank. Just make sure it is in the form of a sentence. As in, “Hey Mo Fo, it’s time for dinner.” And it better not be Phrench Phries. (I knew this Atkins diet would be good for something besides eating my shoe.)
Just heard, Condi’s gonna testify and John Kerry had a boob job.
Face it Frank. We know that you conduct sadistic experiments on monkeys in the secret lab to see if there is a gene linked to liberals. Once found, you will genetically alter their DNA and wipe them off the face of this earth.
Care for donation for your research?
Frank, Add a red IMAO where NUKE is, and the words ‘A realistic blog for world domination’. And that’s your logo.
Supported Higher Gas Taxes As Lieutenant Governor
Dukakis/Kerry Administration Supported Higher Gas Taxes. “The Massachusetts Legislature – passed and sent to Gov. Michael S. Dukakis a gasoline tax bill that establishes an 11-cent-a-gallon floor, which means an increase of 1.1 cents a gallon over the current tax. – It was seen as a victory for the Dukakis administration – The administration, in one of the heaviest lobbying efforts in recent years, pushed for the – floor when wholesale prices began dropping sharply because of a world oil glut.” (Andrew Blake, “Mass. Legislature OK’s Bill Putting Floor Under Gas Tax,” The Boston Globe, 3/30/83)
-hey until i got into business i wasn’t really paying attention but Kerry is more than a moron he is bad news and i am getting active i don’t want him in office and i will do anything to educate anyone…i love this site Frank been reading it for a month..is there anything i can do to help?
Frank
The logo is nifty but I think it would be even niftier if you put IMAO on top of it in red.
“Mo” reminds me of Moe, and the Three Stooges. And that’s always endearing.
Heinz and French’s: Condiments of Weasel
Anyone know where I can read up on more info on this