Guess which limey wrote me back? That’s right: The Limey. I’ll put up his letter (it’s a long one) and a response soon.
Also, another fan club seems to have emerged. So, what do I do now as someone with fan clubs? How many bones do I have to throw you guys? You need to tell me what to do, but it shouldn’t be too much because I’m lazy.
Finally, it was brought to my attention that I give too much attention to the Marines at the expense of other military branches. The reason for that is that my brother is a Marine (giving me someone to ask questions to), and I don’t know much about military culture as a whole. Still, if people have ideas for other characters in the other branches of the military, put them in the comments section. Maybe I can do an In My World™ about all the branches and then people will read it and be like, “Awwww… look at all those people working together to kill for’ners.”
POSTED AT 11:01 post my comment in the same minute that frank j wposts his sunday anouncements!! maybe we have some kind of telepathic link?
Frank, I don’t want to be an ordinary fan, I want to be your first middle aged groupie. Since I’m old enough to be your mother, I’ll be throwing support hose and gel sole inserts when you pass by… It doesn’t take too much to keep my type satisfied. Usually, one good romp with Rummy & Chomps is about all I can take : )
Hey, howsabout introducing a cool soldier chick? I recently received a letter from a lady pilot/captain currently stationed in Iraq. Humbling to say the least.
Frank, I won’t compete with Jennifer. She is too naughty to my belief. I prefer to keep my faith safe and not be your fan club at all. I will change it for the troops. You don’t mind ya. Two fans club is enough for you. More would be too much.
You know, I was just thinking to myself today, Whatever happened to the The limey??
My prayers have been answered!!
Amphi,
The troops could always use more fan clubs (and deserve them more than me), and one from someone in France would be particularly special.
Amphitryon,
I am sorry you feel that way. It is not my intention to compete with you or the other fansite. I think there is plenty of room for different perspectives on Frank’s particular genius.
I hope you will reconsider and keep your site up.
Well, I’m always up for a Navy IMAO character, seeing as former LT John F. Kerry is now misrepresenting my service (now everyone thinks Navy people get cut three times and then whine to go home and lose a senate race), and Ralph Nader wants to cut my new submarine being built (NOOOOOO!!! Thank god he sucks and can’t win!!!).
I’m sure there are other readers out there from Army and Air Force that get to do a bunch of killin’. We sub guys get kinda bored, if we’re killin’, then it tends to be the end of the world…or maybe just North Korea 🙂
Go Other Military!
The main problem with having been Air Defense Artillary is that the U.S. is the only country with any kind of realist air power. It might be a fun challenge to shoot at competent pilots but it seems wrong somehow.
Oh well, Go Navy, Air Force, Marines, Army, and Coast Guard. Also Yippee for FBI, CIA, Secret Service, Federal Marshals, and the National Park Service.
Woosha!
Frank, France might be less guilty than your own President in this war, so please don’t be so critical. Making the war against terrorist that have been proven to work for the American agencies is easy when it re-unit the people behind the necessity they have to be one people, but actually those who are dieing are American troops while this war was a British war, all made for the glory of England.
But you are right about who deserves what.
Jennifer, I hate you since you first commented on my blog and nothing that I have read from you has demonstrated after that I was really wrong about what I could have known about you.
Well, I guess that too much for Frank upsets me. I don’t feel in the fan thing. Really not. You people are too much used of taking always and making your laugh about it. We will never change you. We can only fight. So maybe that’s the next step because I don’t have much else to say.
And Frank, troops ar more honest in this that they don’t need a fan club. Since always they die in silence which is what makes the glory of America.
LibertyBob, I don’t have any orders to receive from you.
Amphi:
That’s because you don’t check the LibertyBob Spy Message Board often enough.
Check now and use Secret Decoder Ring Alpha.
Liberty Bob, I am not interested in reading your Spy Message Board.
But there is something I wanted to add Frank. In your set of characters, you should add the coward, the one who finds always the time to make fun, to write satires, to mock at the others, or to trick on them, the one who says that he is patriot, and he is supportive, and that he would have like to be a marine, but lastly, it was too hard. The one who is that who always could have be but who is never. The one who always have time to make his fun. Who always have time to take the people apart and call them names while he never has time to try to get useful himself. He does not even try to understand nor to use his brain for something more intelligent than his fun, he just is a coward that don’t answer when other people ask for his help (I make reference to my call for looking on internet if other photographs were involved in the attacks against the troops). He just is someone we cannot trust, a compatriot but not a patriot at all. Someone who has opinion, oh sure, as long as it is the leadership. But someone also who deliberately close his ears, his eyes and his mouth to never have to take part in a debate of importance.
And you know what, that is what I think of most your “fans” on IMAO, that they are people who know to mock, but who are deadly not funny.
And for the old folks. Well, I strongly recommend you to go on Jennifer’s blog because she is exactly the kind of friend you may have in here.
Other than this I don’t have anything to add. I adore the Frank that I want to think you are, but I don’t like the Frank you are, because the Frank you are makes me wish to be about 10-50 feet under the earth. At least, there, no one would mock if I feel at home.
Suggestions for a USAF In My World character:
Major Tim, armed Predator pilot, former A-10 pilot
Disposition: Cool, calm, collected, with that great sounding voice over the radio that all fighter pilots seem to posess. Quirky sense of humor that few understand. Grounded for medical reasons, he now remotely pilots Predators with Hellfires.
Hobbies: Sits in a lawn chair off the end of the runway with his M-16, picking off birds so the aircraft don’t run into them. (Not an offically approved USAF safety program, but flight safety department buys him ammo under the table.)
Very loosely based on a Major Tim I worked with in the USAF during my civilian internship.
Amphitryon,
That was harsh. I suppose you think Bob Hope wasn’t a patriot and didn’t do his part either.
Frank J. is the Internet equivalent of Bob Hope.
Anyways, since I’m Navy you need a squid to complement your jarhead. Marines (my ass rides in navy equipment) rely on the Navy for everything. That should be pretty easy to take advantage of. I’d prefer a Navy pilot, but I like the idea of a Air Force female pilot much better (though I’m not sure you can make anyone in the air force seem tough). I’d suggest a Navy SEAL or if you want the average sailor a seaman Jones.
Amphi, can you define “debate of importance?” Because I’m curious what causes you consider important. (It really is a genuine question)
And what Frank do you think he is? I’m confused with all these vague notions.
Launch Navy SEALs from a submarine 🙂 We could take over Iran, never much liked them anyway. Our remodeled subs can hold like 100 SEALs.
Speaking of Limeys, I’m leaving tomorrow to visit the home base of those scurvy redcoats. I’m bringing along a Revolutionary War history book, a copy of the Declaration of Independence, an anti-socialist manifesto, citrus fruit, toothbrush, a facisimile of the 2nd Amendment, a detailed plan for invading France…let’s see, any other suggestions?
Swoon!
Frank J has acknowledged this site’s existence. He’s so dreamy. Look at that picture on the sidebar. Those mesmerizing baby blues. That debonair smile. sigh…
I was going to suggest a battle of the Frank J. fan clubs – there can be only one – But as I read through the comments, I see a kerfuffle has already foamed up.
May the best fan club win. May the worst fan club become a gory smear on the pavement.
Suggestion for other military character:
Simon the Sassy Submariner. Don’t ask,
Don’t tell,
Let him launch them Tridents
And send the ragheads straight to Hell!
BS: Take along an English to British dictionary. I’ve heard some of those people talk and it sure ain’t english they’re speaking.
As for military characters, I waited for someone to say it and it just hasn’t happened. I can no longer hold back. There must be a naval character called seaman Staynes.
Ok…this is supposed to be a fun site but I’m going to say something because I can’t keep quiet.
Amphy:
I have served in the military and I served my country and I LIKE people like Frank who can make almost any situation a little lighter. We have a lot of stress and killing in this world and if someone out there takes the time to make us all laugh….as someone said earlier, like Bob Hope did for thousdands and thousands of troops…then I say “Hooray! Let the man continue!”
It is not necessary for him to have served. People in uniform have not cornered the market on humor. Frank presents his humor in a tactful way so that all may enjoy it.
We NEED humor. You most especially. It is a very sad, sorry existance one lives if they cannot take the time out to enjoy their lives EVEN though there is crap going on out there.
Do you think for one second those troops who died for us would want us all to sit around moping?
If you actually believe that, you don’t know one damn thing about the American soldier.
Finally…if you want to say such nasty things to Jennifer, might I request you do that via private email. That was extremely rude and there was absolutely no call for that here in the comments section.
The fan club thing was supposed to be fun. However, making a fan club for soldiers is a wonderful thing to do and I wish you the best of luck in it.
All I can say Amphy is….really…lighten up.
The first thing that came to my mind when you asked for more military characters were the Navy SEALs. If you want a group of guys who enjoys nothing more than kill’n for’ners, SEALs are your men.
Air Force Recon or Search and Rescue. Those guys are tough.
A thought just came to mind. Armey the airman. Irony 🙂
You should probably bring the Rumsfeld strangler out of retirement to deal with Jacques Verges a Frenchy who is defending Saddam.
http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2004/01/25/1074965437042.html?from=storyrhs
‘Verges says that the US Defence Secretary, Donald Rumsfeld, visited Baghdad twice selling war materials. “If there were crimes committed, then Mr Rumsfeld is implicated. He should be in the dock beside Saddam Hussein and certainly long before Tariq Aziz!”‘
I say we need a female Army character…
just think about how cool it would be- you need another girl to help Condi out anyways, and one from Air Force or Navy is just too… predictable. But I’m biased (since I’m commissioning as soon as I graduate), so ignore me and my many demands. Or don’t- and actually listen- and then I’ll love you forever!
I a;so go for the Navy SEAL. (although, being from the airdale side of the house, perhaps a fighter jock type would not be too bad either) As for a name….how about “Pops, the old grizzled Navy Seal” he cut his SEAL teeth in southeast asia, has at least one woman in every major port of call, and has salty tatoos older then most of the snot nosed terrorists he faces.
Is that good enough for a start?
personally, i think buck the marine does a good enough job reperesnting the military as a whole.. but it wouldn’t hurt to mention the army folks who do most of the actual work…
Totally unrelated, Everyone should watch This Just in on spike tv. 10:30 in sunday. hilarious. great liberal bashing. not frank j funny, but dang good.
how about an unstable female (any branch is fine with me) who flips out over we’re-not-quite-sure-what and takes all things literally, even the most obvious sarcasm. that would make for some funny accidentally dead for’ner moments.
for the record, there can never be too many frank j fan clubs. i’ll join them all. unless i have to pay.
hey frank, i know it’s a stretch, but did the limey mention rage against the maquina?
So the limey is back, I bet he forgot to take his meds for a few days. Can’t we break his will to live by telling he is a complete tosser now?
sarahk, I was thinking Rice with one to many cups of coffiee in her, then again as a Republican I can tell you there is no such thing as “one to many cups of coffiee”. I don’t know, I just think Rice should get some more action like she did in the “My world” posted a few days ago. Maybe her and Buck could go on a killing spree in a Hamas terrorist camp. I could see her cackling with an uzi in each hand demanding Buck to bring her more coffiee. coffiee. need coffiee, whant coffiee, forgot to buy coffiee, must find coffiee. AAAARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH.
You’ve got to add a Coast Guard character! I mean, the Coast Guard does so much, like…uh…lemme think…
(Disclaimer: This post is sarcastic and in no way is intended to demean the USCG.)
I’m Navy ROTC, so I’m a little biased, but I like the grizzled old SEAL vet idea. I think a good ol’ Master Chief Pops to give buck’s pure youthful killin’ energy some direction would be great.
A pilot would be nice, but pilots do thier killin’ from a cockpit, so it might be tough to work in character interaction.
And terrorists have no air power, so all the pilot’s killin’ would have to be limited to bombing. Bombs are pretty good at doing away with large groups of for’ners though…
Senerity – as a un-former Marine, I agree with your post totally. Humor is absolutely necessary.
Nate – We Marines do ride on some Navy equipment. After all, we are a department of the Navy — The Men’s Department!
God Bless All our service men and women.
Know Frank’s Enemy: The Limey
Let’s review multiple personality disorder. A typical symptom of MPD in men is anti-social behavior. Yes, I think we have that one covered. MPD is only present in individuals who experience life-threatening trauma before age 7. MPD is only present…
HEY! what’s that filthy commie wanker doing stealing my name for one of his aliases?! Grrrr. Probably took it from the email I sent him. :rolleyes: Oh well.
-The Real Conservative Carl
aka The Half-Elven Commie Slayer
Old hag here…
Love the new fan site, Jennifer..Do you happen to have any pics where Franks mouth is open even wider?
Sorry, Mr. C*ck Block.. I’ve been told I’m much too old for that sort of thing.. Best I just keep quiet and finish the quilt I’m working on.
At least send them a decent photo Frank.
As a naval veteran (a former member of the Merry Band of Rickover’s Miserable Children AKA Nuke), I am biased but I like the Master Chief Pops SEAL idea. For representing the navy. As far as Air Force is concerned, I agree with the Air Force Search and Rescue idea. I mean, someone has to go in and rescue Scott.
God Bless (from behind enemy lines AKA a state university),
Crusader
P.S. Nuke is Nuclear Propulsion Field, the bored stiffs that wish they got to play with the bombs instead watching the reactors.
Can we have someone representing us apart from The Limey and Bush’s friend Tony? There’s a fair few of us out there, doing unpleasant jobs in hot, dry, foreign countries which have neither decent tea nor indecent women.
(signed)
A Brit