PETA is an annoying bunch, now trying to put the Colonel out of business by giving kids buckets of blood. Evil people scaring kids and trying to put Colonels out of business! I’m going to sic my crack research staff on them!
FUN FACTS ABOUT PETA
* PETA is an acronym that stands for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, but, when wrapped around sliced roasted lamb, they’re called GYRO, but I don’t know what that stands for.
* They think that animals, things that care not for Christian values and claw and bite with no sense of morality, should be treated “ethically”. That’s because they’re hippies.
* PETA is against all testing on animals. If they had to choose between curing a sick child and saving an evil feces-flinging monkey, they’ll choose the demon-spawn simian every time (I mean the monkey). Hey, if God didn’t want us experimenting on monkeys, then exactly what the hell did He make them for?
* Many members of PETA like animals more than people, but, ironically, it’s a scientifically proven fact that most animals hate hippies.
* Though they don’t like KFC’s method of killing chickens, their suggested replacement of having each chicken individually strangled with piano wire by a trained assassin is simply not cost effective.
* They think people should be vegetarians, even though plenty of animals eat nothing but meat. Atkins dieters, every one of them.
* I used to tease my dog. I bet PETA wouldn’t like it, but my dog didn’t too… and she was stupid. So there.
* They complain about how veal calves are kept from moving their entire lives, but have yet to prove they would move if given a choice. Cows are lazy.
* PETA had championed eating whales since less whales would have to be killed to feed the same number of people than chickens. That’s crazy. Ever try raising whales on a farm? They really don’t get along well with the horses.
* They want to end the game of chinchilla football, and I don’t want to live in that world.
* Has sued ACME for perpetuating animal against animal violence.
* When it was revealed that Rudy Giuliani had prostate cancer, PETA exploited that to put up ads saying that milk gave it to him. That’s ridiculous. Babies drink nothing but milk and have some of the lowest instances of prostate cancer.
* They claimed that Jesus was a vegetarian even though in the seventh station of the cross Jesus pauses to enjoy a hamburger.
* PETA has had links with the eco-terrorist group ELF, know for having the gayest name of all terrorist groups.
* If surrounded by violent PETA activists, just hold a gun to a kitten’s head until they back off.
* In a battle between Aquaman and PETA, Aquaman would be fined for disturbing the peace of fish. Unable to pay the fine, Aquaman would have to serve jail time, and you know someone like him just isn’t going to last in jail. Poor Aquaman.
* It would be funny to teach a parrot to say, “PETA is a bunch of stupid hippies!” and then abuse it so PETA has to take him in. Then again, it would be hard to abuse something that spoke such truth.
We should “organize” a PETA Rally in the hills of Afghanistan. Should be easier to kill two birds with one stone then, eh?
Classic Frank J. Keep up the good work!
I’m still trying to figure out what’s unethical about eating a dead chicken. I could see their point in picketing say, Ozzie Osbourne… but the Colonel?
Everyone knows that Chickens are the most depressed of all fowl. PETA should consider it euthanasia, with a tasty bonus.
Vegeterian isn’t good enough – they want us all to be vegans. Means no butter, no cheese, no milk- you get the picture.
Artichokes only for you, bucko.
hln
I go to college right by PETA’s national? global? headquarters. I forget which. But they’res a bar-b-qu there every spring. Its so much fun. And snince I’m only a nice conseravite freshman, I have 3 more years to annoy them 🙂
Frank,
GYRO stands for Get Your Rifle Out. Time to go hunting…..Be Wery wery quiet we are hunting bunnies for Easter dinner….
John
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again:
Vegans eat only good food so that their meat will be good if we have to eat them. (Yea, I know it’s hard to clean a hippy.)
Yeah Liberty Bob… that patchouli sack is hard as hell to remove without rupturing it and ruining the meat.
So you have a dog now. What’s her name ? I though it was a poodle. You told me you wanted a poodle. I am very confused now.
A POODLE??! Say it ain’t so, Frank! Poodles are so…well… POOFY!
I understand that Poodles are considered the smartest of breeds. However, I would guess that this was an attempt at propping up their fragile esteems after having been totally dominated by the marauding Sharpei hordes, then saved at the last moment by Skeeter’s Bassett Hound Brigade.
I have never in the history of the universe said I wanted a poodle.
My dog’s name was Lady. That video was taken a number of years ago and I just happened to still have it on my computer.
I don’t know that being a vegan would cause you to live any longer, but I know it’d damn sure make it seem a lot longer.
I read on the net a couple of year ago about some limey rock and roller, whom I’d never heard of, who had given up the vegan routine and returned to meat. Some dipshit reporter asked him if it “symbolized a shift in values in the world of rock.” He replied that he didn’t know about that, but it did symbolize that he “was tired of being bloody f***in’ hungry all of the time.” It could have been a classic IMW line. I laughed my ass off.
Mmmmmm!
Vegans, the other, other white meat.
I though I understood that you told me that you wanted a white poodle so the girls in the park would say “oh, what a lovely poodle” and you would say “yes it’s mine”. And because a poodle was easier to bath than a shepherd, because a shepherd in your bathroom would mess up everything. That’s what I though you told me, that shepherd were hippies.
So what happened to Lady ?
Who needs a smart little dog? That would be as bad as having a cat.
That’s right. I’m sayin it. Some dogs should be called “cat”.
The sweetest animals I know are rabbits, not cats.
Sorry for my question Frank about Lady. I though it was a new dog… as you wanted one.
But I should have known. Lady is not a poodle so you’ll have the poodle next.
You know, I think you guys have some great ideas. Soybean farmers grow their crop to sell to vegans. Groundhogs eat soybeans, so I go out and kill the groundhogs for them. The blood of the groundhogs is on the vegans hands – if they didn’t eat soybeans, I wouldn’t have to kill the little crappers. How ’bout we protest the deaths of groundhogs at the headquarters of Boca Burger? I’ll bring my groundhog-killing dog (a mini-chomps) and he can kill the vegans and we can do a bar-b-que!!
Amphi,
Lady lived a full, happy, doggy life, and, though a couple years past, she still often comes up in conversation – especially between me and my dad – because of all the fond memories we have of her.
As my friend says, I am part of PETA – People Eating Tasty Animals!
Peta is nothing more than a terrorist organization (Giving money to ALF is just insane)
Here is a good website that tracks nutlog groups like this:
http://www.activistcash.com/
who has nothing better to do than harass and terrorize children and others who do not agree with them. They better hope to God Almighty that I am not near a KFC when they hand out those buckets, becuase they will be wearing it home, or eating it. >:/
A few weeks ago, when some members of my LEGO club and me were driving home from a LEGO store in Chicago:
http://www.michiana-lug.org/Past-Events/ML-Meeting-03-20-2004.htm
(We hit a traffic jam earlier in the day, thanks to all those hippies protesting freedom in Iraq in and around downtown Chicago)
We were driving home on 294, and we saw this billboard ad, it had Richard Pryor on it. It had their dopey website, a reference to PETA, and it said something along the lines that Richard Pryor says not to eat at KFC because of chicken cruelty. I felt like jumping off the highway with my powerful SUV and smashing the billboard from sight. Maybe Chomps can do it for me. : )
I don’t have a problem with people being vegetarians, I have a few friends and relatives that are, but I have serious problems with people terrorizing others and supporting illegial activites in the cause of “animal rights”. With real threats to humanity like, oh I don’t know, terrorists and rogue nations with nuclear weapons, bent on destroying us, aren’t there more important things to worry about?
In conclusion, I think I will go to KFC for lunch and dinner to start with, and enjoy every tasty, delicious, and edible bite.
Thanks Frank – I think I am going to print this Know Thy Enemy out and post it in my work area.
God bless Lady. May her rest in peace.
If God did not want man to eat meat. He would not have made cows, sheep, deer, rabbits, and pigs taste so good cooked over flames, coal, and embers!… BTW, Lady’s a beaut, Frank!
One of the best KTEs ever!
Actually, after the Fall of Man, God gave the animals of the Earth to Man to do what we wished. Meaning it is God’s will for us to eat meat!
I should go beat a PETA member just because it’s so fun!
Jesus stopping at the seventh station of the cross for a hamburger.
Priceless and blasphemous. Awesome, Frank.
Lady looks like she was a great dog. I’m trying to talk my husband into getting a shepherd because nobody bothers a woman walking with a shepherd. Are they good with kids?
Frank, you should consider poodles. Real poodles, not the little Frenchie bastd ones. REAL poodles are some of the best huntin’ dogs there is. That froo-froo haircut was actually designed to keep their joints warm in cold water.
Dn PETA. I heard that during a performance of “the Nutcracker” in NYC in the winter, they handed out a comic called “your mommy murders animals!” to kids. I’d make them eat the comic, page by page, if’n they gave my kids one. Seasoned with some bacon-wrapped Kentucky Fried Veal, of course.
If they’re raised with them, their good with kids and extremely protective.
Yes they are, but they must be taught to. When I was a little girl, I had someone in my family who had a shepherd. He was himself a prison guard and was often attacked in his own house, so the dog was trained to not let anybody enter the house, and nobody would have even walked passed the car with the dog in. It was a real monster. With only one bit, it could open a tennis ball in two, but when I was little as I was smaller and not strong, the instinct of the dog was to protect me. The children must be taught to not dominate the dog but to become friends, and then it works fine, the dog will always protect them as the masters (parents) would do.
PETA = People Eating Tasty Animals
The shepherd has a mimetism habit which is to be like his master while other dog try to only be puppy and can be jealous with the children. It quite never happen with a shepherd.
MagKnightX, every poodle are bad dogs. They bark, they jump everywhere, they cannot go out without being dirty and they are poisons.
Jonag,
Shepards are great dogs in virtually every regard. They are extremely intelligent and very trainable. Like every dog, though, they can be made viscious by a determined owner.
My wife and I used to do volunteer work raising Shepard puppies for a seeing eye dog foundation. (They need people to provide a loving home, socialization and basic obedience training until the pups are old enough for the advanced guide training.) We’ve always loved dogs in general, but that experience has made us much more partial to Shepards. (And for Frank J., there is no chick magnet stronger than a little Shepard pup wearing a “Guide Dog in Training” vest at a public place like a mall.)
We are currently on hiatus from raising puppies until our daughters are older. (Two year olds don’t really understand that it’s a bad idea to share your sandwich with the puppy. After all, it’s what friends do…) We did, however, just adopt a 4 year old male Shepard. We’ve got an old female mutt, and she wasn’t going to tolerate another female. We contacted the local breed rescue (there is a breed-specific rescue for most major breeds in most large population centers) and they had a list of dogs for adoption that had been evaluted to ensure a good match with prospective families. Bo weighs 103 pounds but could not be more gentle with my girls. He shows remarkable patience for times when he’s participating in dress-up (he makes a great Beast for Beauty and the Beast). Just let the folks involved know your situation and they can usually find you a great match.
Frank wants a poodle? Why? So he can eat it?
I bet he does. He wants to be like Glenn in every way. FRANK! JUST BE YOURSELF!!!
Thanks for all the “doggone” good advice guys! That just confirms my impression of the shepherd as a good family dog.
I love poodles too, Pam. Especially with just a dash of teriyaki sauce.
PETA, Thy Enemy
Frank J. gives you the rundown on PETA! I’ve been waiting for this day for a long time. * In a battle between Aquaman and PETA, Aquaman would be fined for disturbing the peace of fish. Unable to pay the fine, Aquaman would have to serve jail time, and …
I perfer cocker spanials, there very loveing if somewhat hyper at times. The oldest “Bell” still tries to breast feed the cat, much to the displeasure of the cat, who only wishes to catch LARGE rodents to give to the misses, and sit in the sun.
I think a PETA IMW is in order;) I can’t stand those d**n people. They even think that catch and release fishing is unethical treatment of fish; like wtf? Anyone that a$$backwards needs to be in an IMW. OH, and check this out, LOL http://www.carnivegan.com/
Well, I’m going to eat some MEAT…..all this talk is makin’ me want a hamburger…..bastards…………..
Cocker Spaniels? I gave up on them. They would never stay still long enough to stick the fork in them.
MMMMMMMMM FINGER LICKIN GOOD
Hey PETA-i love strangling tasty meaty chickens for food…sometimes axes do the trick as well. But KFC with all that grease and wonderful crispy sound as you gulp it down…mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm i think i need to eat there 2 a week now that you guys protest it. Hippies should be sent to New Mexico and the current people in mexico sent to texas…we should fence off NM put the democrats and the Thieves in there along with them and let them do an old “cowboy it up” style governing.
-My guess is the hippies will die off first because flower power is stupid and wimpy and even if they make love without war they’ll be shot a couple extra times just for being stupid.
-then the Thieves and Democrats would be left(no pun intended muhahaha)…well since they are all isolationist and only care about themselves my guess is the Democrats would wait for the thieves to steal from each other then steal from them…it’s the Democrat policy
BY THE WAY WHAT IS ALL THIS TALK ABOUT US BEING A DEMOCRACY WE’RE A REPUBLIC YOU COTTIN PICKIN SWINES A REPUBLIC, NO DEMOCRACY AS A GOVERNMENT HAS SURVIVED.
Matt
words of wisdom-eat lotsa KFC yum yum yum
thanks for the heads up on those loco PETA fruitcakes. I plan on watchin the KFC’s near my house to see ’em in action. And if I do catch ’em there, I plan on walking in, hungry or not, buying some chicken, and standing outside eating it in front of them. Hell maybe they’ll get angry and attack me with some “bloody bones” and I’ll have to force feed them some chicken to show them how good it tastes! Mmmmmm mmmm, KFC.
So, you think “PETA is a bunch of stupid hippies!” That’s not nice, man. Like man, PETA is a bunch of children of stupid hippies. I mean, we fed the kids sprouts ‘n yoghurt ‘n sprouts ‘n all that crap we had left over after we got the munchies and told ’em it was good for them ‘n stuff. I mean, we really didn’t expect them to go all, “Cow-meat eaters are the devil” ‘n stuff on us. But they did. ‘N what are you going to do with kids that really think yoghurt is food? I mean its spoiled milk right? So then they go all like “C-O-Ws are P-O-Ws” on us an now all they got to eat is sprouts and those pieces of plastic that keep your shoe-laces from coming all frayed ‘n stuff. I mean ‘scuse me man if I tell my kid that zoos are evil and he like thinks I don’t mean it in an open your mind kinda way…let out your inner monkey, man…and he goes and sets the manatee free, but manatees can’t live in Lake Erie so the things goes mad and starts wrecking all of the commercial ships on the lake and chasing beautiful women… Ummmmm…did that like really happen or were you projecting on my mind again? Hey, if you see my kid, will you tell him to eat a burger or something? Veggies are for smoking.
“They claimed that Jesus was a vegetarian even though in the seventh station of the cross Jesus pauses to enjoy a hamburger.”
For shame Frank, every one knows this is wrong.
He stopped for a Bacon Double Cheeseburger, and still feeling peckish, got chicken stips to go….
“PETA has had links with the eco-terrorist group ELF, know for having the gayest name of all terrorist groups.”
That’s friggin hilarious.
Very good, as usual, Frank.
I remember last year at school we had a bunch of PETA activist outside handing out anti-KFC chicken fliers, trying to get people to support and join their fanatical agenda of banning KFC chicken.
The Cover had a cool cartoon of the Colonel stabbing a chicken with blood everywhere. Was this supposed to be a Bad thing? I think I still have the picture somewhere, if I can I’ll scan it and send it in.
but yea… they were having protests outside the KFC… I was gonna go and order some chicken, then sit down in front of their protest while eating. Stupid Hippies.
OOOOHHHH BOY. I can just see it now.
Let’s see, hmmm… Can anyone see how these guys are truely Fascists? I sure as hell can. In most Fascist (and Socialist) societies, we’ve got the government regulating what we get for news, how much we can make, what we can buy, etc. But these guys want to push it farther than it’s ever gone and are trying to regulate what we can EAT?!? Are they out of their f***ing heads?!?
How would they like it if a law was passed banning vegetables from being sold as food, because of some whiney-ass special interest group bitching about how “plants are living things too!” They wouldn’t be none too happy and… Actually wait, they’d probably be more than happy to give up plants as well as animals and start eating rocks and dirt, but then some environmentalist group would bitch about soil erosion, so they’d ban rocks too, and then we’d just have to eat ourselves.
Damn, I need to lay off the Coffee!
Here ya go Mob http://www.cdc.gov/ncidod/EID/vol9no8/03-0033.htm granted the article is not as good as one I found in my Anthropology book from college, but it covers some of the basics.
Note: there are areas in Africa where the “dirt” is very high in minerals, and very low in bacteria, makeing it rather healty. Of course the same people eat plants and animals so I guess they are not firends of pet-a-people.
Monster Kabasue, people in the mountain of Sumatra eat cow’s dirt. In fact, when the cow is scarified, they eat what is inside the intestines. They don’t collect it from the soil.
Well, the main distinction between the Man and the monkey comes from the time when the monkey has eaten meat and has become a Man with the development of a brain larger than the brain of a monkey. Bones have become tools which has transformed the habitat of the humans until they discovered the fire which permitted to cook the meat.
The first meat cooked was that of a donkey which is the reason why some humans are genetically dumb while some others have developed their food around that of beef, chicken and fish.
The first hamburger was originally a finger in a curcuma which has been made a recipe of beef and a curcuma and later beef with bread.
Since the man eat hamburgers made of meat and of bread he is homo homo sapiens which means more gay than human, but a glass of beer is usually enough to inverse the process and make the man be a real sapiens sapiens.
So, guiness make you to be a monkey sapiens while a hamburger and a beer make you be an homo sapiens sapiens. The beer can be a guiness anyway.
fantastic post!
i go to college in the heart of washington dc and have to deal with hippies of various stripes all the time. they even close down parts of our campus during the imf/world bank protest each year. but the other day while riding the metro to work (for my beloved MARINE CORPS btw!) i noticed an actual anti-peta ad on the train. it almost brought a tear to my eye! and since then i have seen a couple more, its good to see people spreading the word about this evil group, especially in our nation’s capital.
“‘I SAID, would you like a chicken wing!?’
Vegetarians were shot without hesitation in the Old West”
That was the best Far Side ever
Check this out: http://www.peta.org/feat/cowpope/cowpope.html
This a potential gold mine for more stuff to add about PETA!!!!
Dammit, I’m a vegan and I hate PETA with a God-damned passion.
For them, vegetarianism is a result of their anti-human worldview. For me, being a vegan has made me healthier and happier, so as far as I’m concerned it’s pro-human.
To them, your cuisine is their business. To me, all I care about is that you don’t chew with your mouth open and gross me out.
Because of those moonbats and their intransigence, people whose dietary habits are not the same as mine harass and criticize me in public, sneak meat into my food at restaurants, and try to convince me that I’m crazy and unhealthy. Because of me and my live-and-let-live outlook, people are more likely to respect a vegetarian the next time they meet one.
To them, life is all about suffering, blood, and dirt. To me, life is all about joy, health, and cleanliness of mind and body.
I just had to say something ’cause I’m mad… hope you all understand.
You forgot to add that people who belong to PETA have houses that smell like cat pee!!
Hey, since I look like a hippy, and Jesus, I’m playing Jesus in my church’s Living Stations of The Cross.
This means, tomorrow, (not only a Lenten Friday, but Good Friday,) during the seventh station (Jesus falls for the second time) I’ll be falling face-first into a bacon double-cheese burger.
Mmmmm… Sacrilicious.
hey, u jerks badmouthin fowl and worshipping KFC. I’ll have you know that my father was a turkey and my ma is 1/4 fat f***, so i know what i’m talking about. peta hate KFC not for killing chicken but the treatment of them when they’re alive(or so they say). I agree that the chickens should get better treatment – and i’m not even a veggie. But i think that PETA goes about it the wrong way, they seem to wish that they themselves were farm animals in some sort utopian horse+cow world, and would like to see an uprising from the livestock a la Animal Farm. they want better treatment of animals, but would allow a bloodbath of humans to get it. this doesnt make sense to me. + the way they try to get people on their side is nothing short of propaganda – showing rare cases etc. PETA sucks.
Yeah…PETA’s large group of anal retentive obeessive compulsive crazy people, but what’s worse is the many celebrities that actively support these idiots.
Take for example David guy just above me.He thinks his dad was a turkey….
Fighting PETA with PETA tactics
PETA
People Eating Tasty Animals!
PEta is a millitant bunch of thugs who use there “For the animals” bs to push around people, case and point, what happened to the parody “people eating tasty animals” web domain.