I read Jonah Goldberg’s G-File yesterday, and had to do a double take. Tony of Oriental Redneck then e-mailed me the obvious point that Goldberg is ripping me off.
Yes, I always make references to Aquaman, so now Jonah is making references to the poor man’s Aquaman, the Sub Mariner. Pretty pathetic. I heard there once was a D.C./Marvel Comics match up between the two and Aquaman actually won. Yeah, Aquaman actually won a fight. I think this shows how desperate Goldberg is getting about me taking his job. Or maybe he figures I’ll be killed by Frances and he can plagiarize me at will.
We may have to do a letter writing campaign to NRO. Nothing mean that would make them hate me and not hire me, but something. Let’s think about it and do it later. Right now I’m worried about my house getting blown away.
UPDATE: Just got this from Jonah Goldberg right after posting:
Dude, aquaman is a pussy!
True, but what does that make Prince Namor?
UPDATE2: When I informed Jonah of Sub-Mariner being beaten by Aquaman, he responded:
I won’t listen to your lies and dirty mind tricks!
Don’t have any response to that. He’s just too fargone.
Possible poopage
Jonah used to be funny, then he got married and had a kid, and got old. Now he’s all serious and shit, and just another excellent concervative writer.
So we may need to castrate Frank, so that he doesn’t get married, and have kids and get old, so he can still be funny and amuse us in our old age.
See? This is why Goldberg needs to be replaced, either by Frank or the other, WWE Goldberg. I’m just sayin’.
And don’t even talk about the c-word. (http://www.nobull.net/bander/SmartBander.html)
PUT HULK IN, COACH!! HULK SMASH PUNY PLAGIA– PLAGIA– UHH ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Is “Jonag” short for Jonah Goldberg? Do we have a mole?
Frank, you’ve GOT to go check out this superfriends page…
http://www.seanbaby.com/super.htm
1st paragraph on Aquaman:
“Imagine being in a burning building, and the person sent to rescue you shows up in his underwear on a giant seahorse. Or worse, standing on two flying fish with leashes. But don’t worry, while you’re burning alive, your rescuer has the fantastic ability to TALK with those fish he’s using as shoes. You might as well cover yourself in gasoline and try to get it over with quick.”
I laughed so hard through this site I nearly died.
I’ve talked to jonag, so I can say pretty definitively “no”.
i can second the definitive no.
You people forget that when the Fantastic Four discovered the Sub-Mariner, he was a homeless dude! Ok, he had lost his memory, and forgotten he was a prince, and seemed to have ignored the wings on this ankles, but he was living on the streets. Then, with a little hard work, a little super strength, and one long look at hot mama Invisible Woman, he turned his life around and became a super hero, even if he was a little gay looking. It oddly parallels the life of Arnold Swarzennegger, perhaps leading Jonah to make the comparison.
Okay, NOT that I am defending Mr. Goldberg or anything but….
So maybe this is a kind of compliment, I mean – obviously Joanna – Oops, Jonah Goldberg reads IMAO, and was slipping in a minor tribute to Franks greatness, (plus he equaled JF’nK to somebody that got his ass handed to him by Aquaman of all people…)
But StickyB(utt monkey)! You go near the Frankster with Castration in mind and I will grab my trusty staff… (sigh Okay, long, wooden stick used to hit BAD people with! {Ever watched Xena? [loved that show until it got totally Gay and stuff… but I digress..]Okay, think Gabrielle and that big stick she whacked bad guys over the head with.})
Back on track – sort of.. Frank MUST remain virile for the future of little Republican Bloggers who are well armed and go hiking in the Grand Canyon. Or become jet fighter pilots (I don’t know why I threw that in, I guess I think Combat Aces are so Cool! Heck, they are!)
Hey Frank, tip for your second Date! Take SarahK to a Airplane show at a Military Base where the Blue Angles are appearing! Bring Boston’s first CD! Best thing to listen to when watching the Blue Angels. (Sorry for the long comment, got carried away.)
Oh yeah, and StickyB…
RARR!!!! Leave FrankJ’s Stuff alone! ;P
sigh Boston and the Blue Angels…
Great combo!
Uh, Okay, here is the reason for my obsession with the Blue Angels + Bostons’ first Album
As a young girl I had the privilege of going to Miramar (in San Diego)Airbase. Stepdad R.A.T. Was in the Navy (Yeah, laugh all a’ ya’s in the other branches of armed forces (except for the Airforce)
The Blue Angels showed up every time since they(Miramar) have a big enough airspace for the stunts) several times to see the Airshow and the last 3 times or so that I went, I took my Boston tape, because the first time it was just soooo much better than listening to that crappy “I went to the Danger Zone” Top Gun soundtrack crap.
Okay, Blue Angels show = Totally Cool!
Blue Angels show + Boston first album = Religious experience!
Blue Angels show + Boston first album + FrankJ + SarahK 2nd date +++ other dates down the road & Mawage (impressive clergyman impersonation from Princess Bride) = Well Armed Little Republican Bloggers… Can I get an Amen from Bikermommy and Spidade?
Cricket noises
Uh, Hello? Anyone?
Duh, That last post with the Blue Angels Obsession thingy is me, I had a Senior moment again and forgot my (Superhero) name… Oopsy….
my latest(and only) knowledge of the Sub-Mariner is that he can’t even talk to fish! What’s the point? Something about the water tells him what to do. oooooh, then I find out he was a hobo? don’t let the guys in the white coats get ahold of him or Marvel will be less one “superhero”
No worries. Even if frank goes the way of the Goldberg, we have the one they call PASTABAGEL
For Example:
“So Much Testosterone, It Scared Me!”
“Help! My Boyfriend Is a Metrosexual!”
Namor fought Hitlerwith Captain America. I;m sure that counts for something
I think it’s an NRO thing. Remember when Derb talked about a “Gay Aquaman”? (Okay, he actually wrote “Gay American”, and Frank misread it as “Gay Aquaman”. Close enough for my purposes.) Well, if anyone fits the description of a gay Aquaman, Namor is it.
Hey, I think Jonah is awesome! He was debating some Naderite at a college close to where I live, and he was really funny. Plus I got him to sign the issue of the National Review that he wrote the cover story for.
Um, Katie, don’t forget about the fair Jessica, now, okay? Just a detail you might want to consider.
😉
OK, seriously Frank, I have to respectfully disagree. The Sub-Mariner first appeared in 1939, while Aquaman didn’t appear until 1941. Therefore, the rip-off is the DC bee-yotch, not the Marvel hero. I hate DC. Also though, Prince Namor, the Sub-Mariner, can lift between 40 and 85 tons, is partially invulnerable, and can fly. He would KILL AQUAMAN.
To win in the Marvel vs. DC world (which was pre-decided to favor DC, as they were losing sales while Marvel’s business was booming), Aquaman had to drop a whale on Namor, and that only slowed him long enough for them to talk.