I mentioned this story about an Iranian woman who was trying to have a court keep her husband to only beating her once a week. The husband protested since he wouldn’t be able to keep his wife obeying him if he couldn’t beat her at will.
I have a better solution:
Yes, space lasers can even settle domestic disputes. So why isn’t funding pouring in?
Pour in the funding! ::shakes fist::
Sorry, I thought the thing from above was a wrath-of-god-type lightining bolt from allah. Serves the tool right for being such a neandertal. Plus then you wouldn’t have to maintain all those sattelites.
Dang second. But who doesn’t like great heaps of technology raining down Frank’s destruction at his whim?
Hey, first steps first in the SDI: launch an ASAT missle to take down Al Jazeera’s satellite repeater. That will take care of the agitprop. THEN we can start sizzling wife beating scum.
Heehee! That explains his anger! (And she still loved him)
ROFL. i especially heart the cowering pose.
Damn you FrankJ. Now I gotta squeegee my screen.
Frank, your editorial cartoon prowess is improving!
And, when I saw the headline, I had an imagination flash of FrankJ break dancing! Now THAT is frightening.
Steve
THAT IS INDECENT! THAT WOMAN ISN’T COVERED! I MUST ERASER HER TO MAKE UP FOR HER SHAME!
Sorry again. I really need to get those psychic powers checked. This time I was chanelling a small penised Iranian. Or is that redundant?
Finally, someone blowing the lid off the terrorist genital inferiority issue. I’ve never understood why guys like Rather are willing to make up any crap they want about Bush, but never sneak in something like, “Hamas terrorists blew up a bus full of preschoolers today, possibly in a political gesture but more likely just because they’re jealous that even israelli toddlers have more in their pants.”
You should draw the laser beam narrower next time.
A coherent high-energy light source, coming from even as far away as a really cool satellite in space, will have only diverged a centimeter or two over that distance.
Plus, you could do better on the smoke rising from the ashes. Due to the high liquid content of people, there should be a huge steam cloud over the pile of ashes.
But, hey, don’t let ME tell you how to draw cartoons! 😉
bwah hahahaha
You never let me down!!! All along, I was thinking that the only reason they beat their wives is because of their small peniseseseses. BWA HA HA!!!
Kimberley,
the plural for penis is “peni” (pee-nigh).
FYI – the plural for Iranian is “barbarian motherf***ers”
Peni?
“But I loved him”?? gez… smite them BOTH!!
I love the shocked look of surprise on the wife’s face in the third panel. Stick figures which show great emotion!
First!
(liberals don’t let plain facts like all the above posts before mine stop them from making their claims!)
I am no art critic, but does the smite laser vaporize people or instantly transform them into steaming dogpiles?
Frank,
You keep mentioning all of these violent things that we can do with space lasers, but you are getting no traction. It’s a PC world now. You need to come up with some, er, non-destructive uses if you’re going to sell your laser idea. Say, like making popcorn like Val Kilmer did in “Real Genius”. Also, you can play some cheesy 80’s music. Yah, that will sell it.
I like the idea of transforming Iranians into steaming piles of dogshit.
(sounds like a job for Chomps)
A few questions.
1. Your drawings are too technical. Is there any way you can simplify them?
2. If you keep transforming Iranians into steaming piles of dogshit – how will we know the difference?
peni? So then what is a group of peni called? A herd of peni? As in Jennifer screamed, “Ahh help! I am about to be trampled by a stampeding herd of peni!”? A gaggle of peni? As in Lance noticed that a gaggle of peni had just landed in the field. A swarm of peni? The swarm of angry africanized killer peni attacked Mongo ferociously. A school? The school of peni fought against the current so that they could find the exact stream they were born in to spawn and the die. Inquiring minds want to know.
Frank, love the eyes!
Connecticut Yankee, ROFLMAO!!!
(sorry Frank…)
CYankee,
Close. Try this.
John Kerry arrived at the press conference with his peni in tow. They were there to insult our allies and accuse them of being puppets.
DUCKIE!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!
(I think you guys are stealin’ the show here…)
FormerHostage: the plural for penis is penes. It’s a third declension noun.
C Yankee.
Close again.
Teresa has the pants in the family AND the peni.
She bought it when she met JFK.
He said.. A peni for your thoughts.
She shared. He shared. Now – here we are.
Everybody is swearing in my comments! Stop it! Oy!
Di me servent, barbari omnes! Nonne potestis lingua Latina recte loqui? Pluralis penis est “penes.”
Is peni a swear word?
I agree space lasers can settle domestic disputes, and this is all the more reason to close the domestic space laser gap. Don’t let those err.. commies? get ahead. I think research should concentrate on a North-American wide Domestic Space Laser Defense System. Or N.A.D.S.L.D.S if you will.
crap! that was me above
I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to eat penne pasta again.
okay, Waffle King, it’s Italian diction to the rescue! double consonants make a difference. hence penne would be prounounced something like pehn neh. the n is sounded longer than normal. whereas pene would sound like pay nay. okay, not quite “ay” but there isn’t really an english equivolent start saying “ay” which is a diphthong, but leave the “i” sound off the end. Woo, I knew that music degree would pay off some day.
So…
We’re all in agreement then. The correct space laser emitter thing should be phallic in shape (like the one that the martian had on mars in that Bugs Bunny episode when the martian was going to blow up the earth).
Oh. Y’all think I’m kidding. Go back and watch that episode. The earth-destroying laser was truly phallic – even had the ring of circumsided foreskin near the “head”.
“Where is the KABOOM? There was SUPPOSED to be an earth-shattering KABOOM!”
Si, Maggie tiene razón; pasta de pene normalmente está cubierta de salsa muy cremosa.
eeewwwww
David G,
Thanks, Maggie. Now I’ve completely lost my appetite.
Is this when we break out the penis-shaped pasta? http://www.bacheloretteparties.com/penpasininsi.html