Now that the Republicans will get a bounce from their convention, what can they do to keep the momentum going? Here are some suggestions:
* Defeat protestors in mass kung fu fights. Make use of dragon claw style!
* Don’t let people find out Kerry served in Vietnam. If people know that, they’ll vote for him for sure.
* Bomb more countries; people love it when terrorists are bombed.
* For domestic terrorists, chase them into buildings near where Kerry is going to have a rally. Then, when he starts speaking, blow up the building and shout, “Yay! We killed more terrorists!” That will completely steal Kerry’s thunder.
* Raze Massachusetts in a fashion reminiscent of Genghis Khan.
* When John Edwards is sleeping, secretly shave off all his hair which is the secret of his evil trial lawyer powers.
* Cage Ann Coulter and don’t feed her for a week and then release her on unsuspecting liberal pundits.
* Promise to restore all the items of hilarious right-wing bloggers that might be destroyed by hurricanes.
I was thinking “shoot hippies on sight”, but I guess number one would be funner. Maybe alternate between kung-fu fighting and shooting?
I think what we need is more balloons. Who doesn’t love balloons? Sure, those few balloons last night were nice and all, but I want more! Dubya and his pals should start trading balloons for votes.
John Edwards is EVIL. I knew it from the first moment I saw him…sure he’s good looking (ONLY because he resembles John Ritter), and he tries to be charming with his little southern accent, but he is EVIL. Dubya is way better looking anyway. He’s so cute! But John Edwards is evil as they get.
Speaking of protestors….they are soo stupid. Especially the ones who snuck in, and they’re like ‘Bush lied!’. And ‘he’s like shut up I’m in the middle of my speech!’ And they’re like, ‘yeah a speech full of lies’! And he’s like, ‘well no! And I don’t write these things! And you probably like Michael Moore! And he’s the ugliest person to ever walk the face of the Earth!’ And then the protestor knows that they’ve lost, and walks out shamefaced. Or at least that’s how I saw it.
I don’t think Ann could go a whole day without her 6-pack of Ensure. I love long blonde and slender, but she’s too too thin. Steak and potatoes girl!
Jen sees things clearly, but she missed the backhanding the hippie protester got by the crowd. That “4 more years” chanting was done to cover up his girlish screaming during his beatdown. Security dragged him out for his own protection!
Awful thought, but after today’s events do you think Putin might suddenly be our ally against the crazy squad? This time the media couldn’t hide the info for more than a day that the Chechnian rebels were actually radical islamists.
Their “flower power” is no match for my GLOWER POWER!
Dragon claw? I think you mean dragon fist, it’s the tiger claw(which is more effective in my opinion anyway). And are you sure that’s kung fu? I thought is was Kaido, or something like that.
now you leave Massachusetts alone!
I like my state.
besides, I’m not resposible for him being in the Senate, the big goober.
Can I be put in the cage with Ann Coulter? I’d enjoy it, but it would certainly piss HER off.
I knew Edwards reminded me of somebody! Thanks, Jen! It’s proof that when you think evil thoughts and are a nasty evil person, your ugly! If John Edwards was an honest, fun, happy guy who loved to make people laugh, he could have been a doll baby.
Yeah he’s always reminded me of John Ritter. In fact, as soon as he was announced as the running mate, I started watching Three’s Company at least twice a day. Lol.
It’s so true though. Like, if Michael Moore were a decent human being, I wouldn’t think he was ugly. But he is a horrible person. Therefore, I think he is ugly. It’s all about inner beauty. Democrats don’t have any.
Hey now…!
Zell Miller is a Democrat! Heck, I cannot believe there can be a democrat out there that I like I missed his speech the other night, but I caught bits and pieces on Fox news and his little run in with Chris Matthews (Man! Zell ’bout ripped Chris a new one!)
Yay Zell!
Yep there used to be a fair number of Democrats that thought like Zell. I had a US Gov instructor like that at Texas A&M in ’83, he considered himself an old “New Deal” Democrat. He was mad at the leftist taking over the Presidential nominating process in the party. If I can remeber correctly he said, ” Before WWII the Democrat party was the defense party, was for international envolvement and was religious. Now it’s the Republicans that are strong for defense and the Democrats are isolationists. What happened?” Those old timers that haven’t died have changed parties or retired.
Who is going to be the brave soul that puts Ann into a cage. Frankly just find some way to get her a columm in a big daily or a TV show, and those razor lips of her would slay thousands and make the media who sponsered her rich. People would always be checking her out to see how outrageous she could get. I’d be willing to go into the cage with her but I’m old and don’t have that much longer to live anyway. Hey, maybe I’d get lucky!
I thought the Dragon Fist, Tiger Claw, etc. were some of the 1000 Fighting Styles of Rumsfeld! Some clarification please.
Also, in my mind’s eye, I see Edwards sitting up in the morning with a bald head screaming, “AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!MY POWER IS GONE!!!!!”
May someone with greater knowledge than me take it and run?Please. This just screams Photoshop!