A Realistic Plan for… Hilarity!

There is going to be a total eclipse of the moon tonight. I think that would be a great time to nuke the moon in secret. Then, when people are expecting the eclipse to end, they’ll be like, “Dude, where’s the moon?”
Heh heh.

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  1. Isn’t the whole point behind nuking the moon to show the rest of world how crazy we are and they better not mess with us. I think that doing it in secret during an eclipse would kind of take the edge off of it.

  2. well if was done in secret Bush and Rove could then threaten the bad guy{Iraq and Iran} and the bad girls(france) that until they comply with us demands they will hold the moon as a hostage. excuse the spelling.

    • Frank… have you given sufficient serious consideration of the moon-nuke campaign… The moon won’t be gone 10 seconds before:
    • The wookies will blogment billions of words accusing Rove of stealing their “Bright pretty object” of peace and unity and double the tin-foil layer on their beenies…
    • Kerry will blame Bush and the Neocons of removing the moon too soon without gaining international approval, stating clearly that he voted for it before he voted against it, but that he wants every fellow American to know that he will hunt down and kill moon rocks where ever they are…
    • McCauliffe will state on every TV channel he can find, that this is one more example of the Bush administrations “total incompetence” on the Iraqi war, and that New Jersey is not a problem because Kerry has a plan….
    • France will make public statements saying that no matter who stole the moon, the allegations concerning the Oil-for-food scandal are an unwarrented slur against the French people…
    • Andrew Sullivan will insist this is a thinly veiled conservative plot against gays, and launch a fasting protest wherein he promises to eat nothing but twinkies and mountain dew, blogging in his best French maid outfit untill you put the moon back…
    • CBS will find documents printed on a 1892 gottenburg press in sandscrit documenting Bush’s TANG service showing where he got special treatment on his fighter jet moon assignments…
    • The NY Times will run front page headlines for 3 months showing how Bush countinues to refuse to admit he made a mistake by not making sure the moon was properly gaurded and pointing out that American is in constant danger from insurgent moon rocks that may have been looted….
    • “Give Kerry a Goose…Vote for Bush”
  3. Speaking of moon carvings with SMITE, I was watching my old Tick cartoons the other day, and noticed Chairface Chippendale started carving in the moon his name, but only got so far as Cha. That reminded me of Frank. Then Tick went to the moon to fix the letters using explosives, but instead got blown out of the moon and into far space, and met this big ol’planet eating guy and he eventually took a big ol mouthful out of the moon.
    I also have all 4 seasons of Futurama, and while funny for the most part, I tend to skip all the environmental nutball wacko ones on there, including the episode mentioned above. One of the writers is a big ol’ lib, David X. Cohen, and he is just bothersome to listen to in the commentaries (Yes, I listen to them)
    My favorite episodes are with Zapp Brannigan, and my favorite line from him – while flying a orbiting space station / restaurant – “she’s built like a steakhouse, but handles like a bristro (SP?)”
    And the Amazonian women in the same episode are pretty funny as well.
    And the what if machine and Fry asking if life was like a video game. That was priceless.

  4. Scott, that episode is CLASSIC.

    “We’d like to welcome our keynote speaker, the inventor of the environment and first Emperor of the Moon – Al Gore.”
    “I have ridden the mighty moon worm!” – Al

    and:

    “You’ve built an ark and filled it with same sex animal couples.”
    “Well, there are some parts of the Bible I like, and some I don’t.”

    Heh-heh. How could you not like the fact that they make fun of Al Gore mercilessly and still manage to get the real Al Gore to do his own voice?
    Oh yeah, and Brew? One more time – how can you nuke the moon IN SECRET during a lunar eclipse? Everybody will be looking right at it! Maybe I’ll have to rephrase my objection to “THE EARTH’S SHADOW DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY!”

  5. There is a report that Frankj’s fiendish plan is to detonate nukes on the backside of the Moon. They will be placed in such a way that that they won’t blow up the Moon but will give it a spin. There will be a message carved into the Moons backside that will be visible when it turns and that message is…’scuse someone at the door. Oh, a puppy dog, boy you are a big one and those tee…….

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