The winning description of the Know Thy Enemy: Liberals shirt is:
First the judges confiscated your crosses, holy water and garlic under “separation of Church and State”. Now you are going to need another method to keep liberals at bay. Apparently driving a stake through someone’s heart is illegal in America, so you’ll need the next best thing: Frank’s “Know Thy Enemy: Liberals” t-shirt. Its 100% preshrunk cotton, 100% American and 100% kick-ass.
It won with 79 votes out of 316 (I need to work on voter turnout), a healthy 25 plurality.
Congratulations to Rob for winning. He gets free t-shirt; rest of you buy now!
Thanks also to everyone who entered and especially the finalists BerkeleyChick, Cyberiad, David, Brian, and Mysterio.
I want a recount!!!!!
First?
Heh! I guess it wouldn’t be a real election without a good ol’ recount.
Thanks to everyone who voted for me! I’d like to thank my parents… and my agent… and that little spot of lint on the ceiling in the corner of my room that I never cleaned….
Oh yeah, and good job to all my competitors! Its been an honor to be in a contest with you.
And finally, thanks to Frank for the constant laughs, the nomination and the free t-shirt! (Free t-shirts rock…)
Congrats, Rob! I’m sure that description will catch some unsuspecting buyers. I know I’m getting the shirt! It was an honor to compete with everyone, especially you finalists, and I hope to work with/against you again in the future. And, as always, thanks, Frank, for the opportunity and the great shirt. Now, let’s all get ready to vote together Nov. 2, especially because I’m not old enough to join you. D–n! Be ready with this shirt to beat those libs at the polls, ok?
Oh yeah, I almost forgot to say. Frank, come on. This is why two party systems are superior to all those european and canadian systems. When you win in this system, you only have a small crappy majority and you’ve got to make ‘alliances’ with other parties. So, it would be kinda like me winning and having to join together with Dave here to be able to use the shirt.
In conclusion: two party system good, european system, crappy. See how everything we do reinforces our absolute superiority?
Hey! My chad’s all hanging out over here!
Love to see the finalist.
Distracted by naked wife. Should have read: Love to see the other finalists.
I love the t-shirt, Methinks I’m going to have to buy one
yay! that’s the one i voted for, even though it had vulgar language. of course, so does the shirt, so it’s fitting. 🙂
and yes, free tshirts are neato skeeto.
but those of you who don’t get them free — you go buy them now!
Congrats Rob! Thanks for the contest Frank! Wonderful shirt and since I didn’t win it, I’ll heed your directive and “go buy now!” Hope to see it in the mail box soon. It ships on the day we’re delivering our baby so I have a couple of things to look forward to that day! Thanks again all!
Oh yeah, I almost forgot, since the poll is closed and we can’t see the results (at least I can’t), for the curious out there, mine was #6. Thanks again to everyone and I’ll echo the other comments and tell everyone to go and vote on Nov. 2. I’ll be there but I don’t know if I’ll be wearing this particular shirt or not. It’s a toss-up between this one and another shirt at “ThoseShirts.com” that I have that says “W, Bush 2004, Shouldn’t all decisions be this black and white.” It’ll be one or the other!
Brian
Well I’m upset. I have my Nuke the Moon shirt ready for tomorrow when I go see Sean Hannity but I don’t know what I’m going to wear on Wednesday when I go see THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES!!!!! That’s right! In person!! After the debate!!! This is my reward for tolerating the Phoenix heat all summer!! WoooHooo!!
[silence]
okay, now I really hate you jonag. and Brian, I’m not sure they’ll let you wear the “W” shirt to the polls. most places have rules against campaigning, advertising, etc.. within a certain distance from the place.
Jonag – just don’t do what DixieDarlin’ did to me when we went to see the President in person @ Pensacola recently…
Dixie bought a Bush/Cheney “road tour” shirt from an “embedded” vendor while we were waiting in the rain to be let into the auditorium. I think the shirt sold for about $15. I got myself a Bush/Cheney ballcap and a cool Ronald Reagan tribute pin – “Win one for the Gipper!”
Later, as we were talking with ‘Dave’ our new Secret Service pal, some guy on the floor starts a hand-signal conversation with my wife. While I was concentrating on what Dave was saying to another member of our party, I became vaguely aware that this strange guy was gesturing some sort of proposition to Dixie. I tried to decipher his hand-signals, but I was perplexed – the gestures didn’t seem rude… Finally, he held up his index finger, then touched his fingertips to his thumbtip, then did it again. 100? I looked at my wife for an explanation, and she had a big grin on her face, but her eyes looked like she was searching me for something. I shrugged my shoulders and wagged my head side-to-side “no”…to indicate I had no idea what was meant by the hand signals. Was this some sort of indecent proposal? In a flash, I began formulating a plan to kick this guy’s pinkytoe. Maybe I could even get Dave and his Secret Service pals to help…
She turned to the strange guy and mouthed and waved “No” to him. I watched as the guy’s expression changed – he looked disgusted and turned his back and walked away, shaking his head like he couldn’t believe what just happened in their odd conversation. What the heck?
All this happened in just a moment, and as he was walking away, I yelled to her over the din of the auditorium, “What was that all about?” She motioned to the Bush/Cheney shirt, which she had hanging to dry/display on the riser rail below where I was standing. She said “He just offered us $100 for the shirt but you just said no.” Panicked, I looked toward where the guy had moved back into the crowd on the auditorium floor. He was gone – lost in the sea of cheering Bush supporters.
Ack! $85.00 PROFIT on the resale of a soaked T-Shirt?! A Capitalist Moment blown to Beantown!!
I suddenly felt so unworthy to be wearing my Reagan pin. X-C
Wow, does someone recognize the Cyberiad?
Congrats to the winner.
Does a “Zip it, Hippie!” shirt count as campaigning?
Rubber(Red)neck,
Ouch. That had to hurt! They’d have to pry my Nuke The Moon shirt from my cold dead body… Or else offer me a whole lot of money (and a replacement shirt so I wouldn’t get arrested for indecent exposure).
Hey Mrs. Jonag, if you see a lady with brown hair walking around Tempe & looking like she doesn’t want to vote for President Bush, that might be my sister. Ask her, “Are you some guy’s sister?” If she says yes, it could be a match.
If you did run into my sister I wouldn’t spend time trying to change her political opinion. She’s extra smart and extra opinionated. Liberals: gotta disagree with ’em, gotta love ’em especially if their your sister.
Congrats on getting to see President Bush. If you get him to wear a Sun Devil outfit during the debate he might have an edge with the local crowd. Maybe a negative reaction with the rest of the country but everything is a balance.
Jonag, you go girl!!! Hannity AND the POTUS????? How are you ever going to relate to the rest of us? Oh, wait, you’ll still talk to us, right? Because LLLs are the ones who start thinking they’re better than others.
Very interesting point of view fdgfdg.