Reader Marcin sent me this Heritage Foundation article in which they quote from my Know Thy Enemy: Halliburton (fourth paragraph):
At least one commentator speculates, “Halliburton saves money on labor by using slave labor. They save money on slave drivers by just giving whips to angry gorillas.” This is in jest, we think, but given the general tenor of discourse when it comes to Halliburton, it is hard to be sure.
Really! You think that might be in jest?
Also, this isn’t the big surprise I alluded to before (that’s still to come), but I’m breaking up with SarahK after I found this completely non-photoshopped picture:
Come on Frank, this is Halloween, NOT APRIL FOOLS DAY…. get your holidays straight….:) Oh yea…. first…
Sue them for intellectual property rights violation!
Definatly break up with her. The way that hat fits… she might be both a liberal and a conehead of some sort.
sniff that’s my life’s story with girls. Always some sort of non-photoshopped lie that gets me away from them.
That ‘orrible, blue shirt! How could you! shakes fist
Man are you sure that is SarahK in that photo. That sweater looks a little, uh, how do you say, under stuffed. Man I hope you change your mind, after all snake head and Matlin are married. Besides I had always hopped to meet SarahK’s maiden great aunt. I hear she’s hot.
AAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAGHHHH!
In the name of all that is good and Holy! Why, SarahK, WHY?
Seriously, think of all the money that Skerry spent in that photo… way to waste the Dem’s money! Yeah!
sniff
sob
gnashing of teeth
bitter wailing
…oh yeah, and next time people are not photoshoping certain people, would somebody tell them to make sure that all lighing angles agree?
You mean Halliburton isn’t using gorillas foe slave labor? I just spent all my money investing in a gorilla smuggling scheme hoping to provide angry apes to contractors! I guess that’s what I get for relying on a satire site for news coverage.
the flag on the wall is a nice touch
…and some people think that franks tobit writings are blasphemy.
Hi,
I wrote the Heritage bit. Yes, I know you were kidding.
But where things stand now, I wouldn’t doubt that many probably think this sort of thing is true.
After all, for anyone who’s willing to entertain the belief that the Bush adminsitration was somehow complicit or even behind the 9/11 attacks, the gorilla/Halliburton thing probably makes a certain sense.
Best,
Andrew Grossman
Is that Minerva in the corner? I hope she’s ready to lay her claws into any negatives of this travesty!! Please, SarahK, say it isn’t true!!! Hurries to shut the computer down before the kids come into the room. Must.protect.the.children.
Poor Frank, she must have been swayed by Edwards swov suthurn draul (I am from Texas and have yet to hear anything as infantile as Edwards come out of the South). There is still one chance, as a Halloween present, lure Michael Moore (ala chocolate covered pieces of ham/chicken fat) into a shark cage, and airdrop him next to her house as a lawn ornament. 458 pounds of witty, candid, and hygenic luv toy, what more could any girl want? Presto! She’ll be unable to resist you! Barring this, you could always sway her with a beret. I’m out of ideas, I wish you luck. And a happy halloween!
Trouble in Paradise?
Dear G_d, Frank. (shaking head), putting her head on the body of Jabba the Hutt would have been more sensitive.
I’m sure she’s an understanding girlfriend, but man, I’d be in the s**thouse for this one. Pshop with sKerry gear? I hope you live long enough so we get the “big news”.
sorry, not buyin’ it.
She doesn’t have Fluffy’s hair dryer. And please…look how flat those balloons look rolls eyes come on.
With that much sKerry/Edwards stuff on I would be jumping around yelling “get it off, get it off-it burns!!”
Ouch.
Oh, no…the Redskins have lost. Does that mean Bush will too? Is this because SarahK went over to the Dark Side? Oh, the humanity…SOB
All sports predictions and steaks are now voided since the Red Sox won the World Series. After all, the Redskins theory of prediction started AFTER the Red Sox curse.
After Tuesday we will be saying, “During the Red Sox curse, the final home game of the Redskins could be used to predict the election outcome…”
Good decision! Dump her! This authentic photo clearly indicates that she is unworthy of you — or any real man. The French flag is the last straw.
BTW, what’s her phone number?
FormerTexan
P.S. Astute observation, Toad. I think SarahK’s sweater suffered the same fate as those balloons. I guess we’ll just have to use our imagination to fill in the proper amount of “inflation.”
Hell hath no fury as a woman scorned.
We’re going to miss you Frank.
After Sarah chops your head off can I have your .45?
Christ, I just noticed you even have her cat in there.
RUN FRANK RUN!!!
Oh, come on, everybody knows about SarahK’s evil twin sister. You know, the one that served in Vietnam for about 20 minutes. Served cold ones to commies, it is.
her evil OLDER twin.
did you discover that she was a man or owned hamsters? poor Frank J.
I’m just surprised the commie chat isn’t wearing some kinda Kerry gear, too!
hee heee
This is so sad. And poor little Minerva trapped in that hell hole. sniff
Is Kerry hugging Edwards in that picture?
Eeeeuwwww.
Still waiting for phone number . . .
You forgot the moonbat that should be sitting on her shoulder. Oh, but this isn’t photoshopped. My bad.
“That sweater looks a little, uh, how do you say, under stuffed.”
The alleged “understuffedness” in this unphotoshopped photo was an unfortunate side effect of an overagressive auto-selector and the illusion created by un-perspectivized buttons, and it purposefully wasn’t repaired because I think of SarahK in a kid-sisterly kinda way, and one wouldn’t ordinarily fiddle around with that region of a sister’s torso. If someone else wants to fix it, by all means . . .
i appreciate the non-photoshopper’s not focusing on my jugginess. i’m sure Frank, the traitor, appreciates that too. 🙂
so what did sarahk do to deserve Frank J’s wrath? who cheated on who? I know everyone thinks this is just a joke but being a female I have a duty to pry into funny strangers’ lives.
Considering my age I should think of SarahK as a grand niece or something. I just don’t want to belive that she went over to the silly side. I like FrankJ’s stuff and I know how depressing it can get when you lose one of the good ones. In other words this is all about me dammit.
Today, on the Internet and elsewhere, some people, including many who are partisan political operatives, concentrated not on the key questions of the overall picture, but on the pixels that are part of the picture, have suggested that this picture may have been created in photoshop, citing issues such as lighting angles and “understuffedness”.
Frank J has assured me that he stands by the acuracy of the photo, even though it has been discredited by every reputable expert.
If the picture is not what we were led to believe, Frank J would like to break that story. If this picture is fake, they won’t hear about it from a spokesman. They’ll learn it from Frank J.
-Five Days Later…….
Frank J admits that he can no longer support the acuracy of this picture, but he still stands by its content. It is fake, but accurate.
Courage!
NO BREAK UP!
Go gunny, yeah!
But no break up.
(Just wing a few round the ears, and hope she don’t return the same)
Whenever Toad’s throat get ripped out, let me make chitlins.
TC-LeatherPenguin
Huh?
Chitlins are usually made from pig intestines. The problem is the preparation. It is best once you have them out of the animal and washed, to boil them and skim off the feces that floats to the top of the pot. This is best done out of doors ’cause it can really stink up a kitchen. Some people have bought chitlins from stores and were suprised by the smell when they negleted the boil and skim proces. Now carnivours and some ominivours that have a lot of meat in their diet should be prepared a little differently if you don’t want to end up over boiling to get the feces out. Dog for instance is best prepared by force feeding the dog corn meal until it comes out the back end clean. Then you can kill the dog, pack it in clay and bake it under coals. So it would be best to clean out my guts before you tear out my throat. Of course if you aren’t willing to tear it out your self I don’t think a person should get to have all of those good eats. Usually people don’t bother with intestines on “long pig” since human intestines tend to be rather fragile, esp. the big intestine. It tends to have all of the tensile strength of wet tissue paper. Now if FrankJ and SarahK want me off this site just e-mail me a notice and I’ll be gone.
so anyway, Frank’s threat apparently worked. i’m thinking i might vote for Bush now.
Now Frank…give me a break. So, you run at the first sign of trouble?
Haven’t you ever seen that Pepsi commercial where the guy is all decked out in Coca-Cola wear until he’s introduced to a Pepsi?
This is the same thing! Introduce her to President Bush and she and Minerva will start wearing President Bush sweaters and hanging posters and other such paraphanalia from the walls.
I thought you were stronger than that, Frank J. You know Kerry supporters have no thoughts of their own…fill her head with YOUR thoughts about President Bush…she’ll buy it.
Serenity, how dare you defame the good name of Coca-Cola by comparing it to John Kerry! Bush is Pepsi?! I don’t thinks so.
that is an evil mean horrible nasty tricksie false thing to do to the lovely Sarah K. If I were her, I’d kick your ass.
Who has kidnapped my daughter? Sarah would never, ever go over to the other side unless she was suffering from some sort of Patty Hearst syndrome or something. Have you asked this girl’s name? Where did she first appear? I will call Sarah and go over and search her house to see if indeed she has gone AWOL. I just want to rub my eyes out.
PS: pretty good photoshopping non-photoshopper!