Hello Readers,
RightWingDuck here. I’d like to congratulate the lovely young couple on their new marriage – congratulations Britney and Kevin.
Oh, and Frank and Sarah are getting married too.
Sure some people compare marriage to prison time- except that good behavior just keeps you in even longer. Remember, Frank, if it becomes unbearable, just start drinking heavily while quoting Al Franken.
However, the young couple, if you think about it – was brought together by the good graces of all that is good- yep – IMAO readers.
It seems like just yesterday I was struggling to choose – Bikermommy or SarahK. Had Bikermommy won, I guess that would… never mind.
Okay. So, if we – the empowered and often illogical IMAO readers chose the woman who would one day become Sarah J, then isn’t it only fair that we be allowed to help plan the wedding?

Continue reading ‘IMAO Readers Plan The Wedding’ »

Now that FrankJ has made his intention to marry SarahK incredibly public, his Ol’ Buddy Scott has some Frank Advice on the wedding:

• Set Your Wedding Date On A Holiday By resisting SarahK’s insistence on a springtime wedding ceremony performed during a non-descript date in June, you’ll strengthen your marriage by getting married on a recognized holiday such as May 30th, June 6th, or July 4th. Guys will never remember “I got married on April 29th” but can easily remember: “Hey, it’s July 3rd–I gotta go buy firecrackers and flowers for our wedding anniversary tomorrow.”
• Insist On A “Kid-Free” Wedding Ceremony All women think that their sister’s little boy and their best friend’s little girl would make the perfect ringbearer and flower girl for your wedding; and they’d all be wrong. Kids are supposed to be the outcome of a wedding and having small children running around the church, pulling expensive things off of tabletops, and crying for no apparent reason is not helpful on that very stressful day.
• Use The Generic Wedding Vows You Hear In Movies Nothing screws up a wedding more than having a bride and groom recite personalized wedding vows. She will add something you never agreed to do which starts uncomfortable legal arguments at the altar. You’re no better off because you will forget all of your customized vows when it comes your turn and ad-libbing ain’t your thing, Frank. Tell the preacher to give you the generic wedding vows heard in every movie since 1929 and you’ll be fine.
• Prepare Yourself For Protestant Wedding Guests Some of your wedding guests might not be Catholic; you can tell because the dirty Protestants won’t be the ones kneeling, crossing themselves, standing, ad infinitum during the overly-long ceremony. For this reason, I suggest you not bring firearms to the ceremony but (as the last tip shows) it doesn’t mean you have to have a gun-free wedding!
• Get Creative With The Catering When Sarah chooses the most overblown, seventeen-tiered wedding cake she can find at the baker, you should agree without hesitation. This tactic gives you overall strategic control over the catering (and most importantly) the groom’s cake. By giving SarahK her pretty-princess fantasy wedding cake, you can then get her to agree to a Smith & Wesson-shaped chocolate and peanut butter fudge groom’s cake to compliment your BBQ brisket and/or Pancho’s Mexican buffet spread at the reception.

I’m sure IMAO readers have other Frank Advice for the wedding… drop your suggestion in the Comments for the groom.

“Hung up, strung up, married, or drowned – it’s all the same.”
-Frank J. Sr. (I’m the third)
Having found a girl crazy enough to put up with me, I decided I couldn’t wait any longer. Thus I proposed on Saturday evening (and she said yes!). Probably didn’t notice, but I had butterflies in my stomach all last week leading up to this.
My fiancee details the proposal and my sneaky deceptions pretty well here. Pictures of the ring here.
I feel like I should thank everyone in the blogosphere who helped me along. I started this blog to get my say out there, and never really thought I’d find a wife. I guess first thanks goes to Glenn Reynolds, the Blogfather, who I first started reading and inspired me to blog. He also was a judge in the t-shirt babe competition which was nice of him since I got everybody to call him the puppy blender.
Next thanks goes to Oceanguy of Somewhere on A1A for being the first to permalink me when I was about to give up blogging.
Then I have to thank Geeks with Guns and John Hawkins of RightWingNews for sending me my first real traffic. John Hawkins later asked for permission to put up my posts in full on his site which helped promote me and also was a judge in the t-shirt babe competition.
After that, thanks goes to Emperor Misha I (who has a t-shirt coming out and was another judge for the t-shirt babe competition) and Rachel Lucas – both of whom sent me lots of traffic that led to more regular readers. Rachel Lucas helped me move to my own URL and designed my original banner (part of which is still used). Since she is so hard to e-mail and thank personally, so everyone click on her link in this post (the others are outdated) so maybe she’ll notice the traffic and come here and e-mail me.
Big thanks to Doug of ThoseShirts.com for agreeing to do t-shirts with me and then encouraging my t-shirt babe competition (including adding in a prize). Thanks to all the participants in that competition including the other judges not mentioned thus far: Blackfive, Harvey, Bill Whittle, and No One of Consequence.
I guess I should thank RightWingDuck, a great blog friend, and well as Cadet Happy. Hell, I’ll thank the rest of the IMAO blog family as well, so thank you Scott and Aquaman.
Let’s see… am I forgetting anyone. Well, I guess I’ll thank Eugene Volokh of the Volokh Conspiracy who I consider a partial blog father as his blog was one of the few I read before blogging myself. Little Green Footballs get thanks, because I got some of my first notice in the comments section. Doubly so for Bill Quick of Daily Pundit with his open comment style.
And I especially want to thank all you readers who have kept coming back and encouraging me to write. I never would have kept writing without all your kind words.
Sorry, wasn’t able to come up with an IMW today (something new please happen in the news!). I’ve thought I burnt myself out permanently a number of times and was always wrong, and I’ll be doing this ’till I croak halfway through a post, my head collapsing on the “Publish” button, if I have any say. Anyway, I’m jovial; more funny is to come.
God bless.
UPDATE: Oh yeah, and I should thank Life, Liberty, Etc., long time advertiser who gave me the idea for getting a t-shirt babe when they first advertised.